Possesion
by NotNaturalGirl-96
Summary: Dean finally kisses Cas, and it throws Cas off so much he doesn't sense the demon possesing him til its to late. Heavily Destiel, but there is some Sabriel
1. Cas' POV

**I saw a tumblr post and it inspired this little short story. A little bit of Destiel, sort of. Not sure if I will write more than this but if you guys want me to I will.**

Dean pushed me up against the wall of the bunker's kitchen, grabbing my leg hooking it up to his waist and kissed me roughly, I was stunned and let him kiss me, but something felt off so I pulled away and considered his eyes. Dean smiled and kissed me again, but this time I pulled away, Dean growled and pushed me against the wall roughly and then in a deeper voice said, "What's the matter Angel? Afraid of the dark?" His eyes went black and he smirked gently. Fear and panic flared through my chest and I attempted to push him off me but he wouldn't budge. The demon possessing Dean smirked and grabbed my hair roughly, "Dean is so annoyingly loud, begging me not to kill you. Don't worry angel, I won't just kill you, I want to make this nice and special for Dean. First I am going to fuck you, just the way Dean wants and then I will torture you and then I will kill you."

A whimper escaped my lips and I closed my eyes, I wanted to pretend that it was Dean, just my Dean that I had fallen from heaven for. Dean kissed me again roughly and slid his hands in my shirt, his skin against my skin felt wrong, and I knew it was because of the Demon, but I just pretended I was imagining things. Dean pulled me into his chest and grabbed my arm, "If we pass Sam, or Kevin you will say nothing Angel."

I nodded shakily, "Understood."

Dean led me down to his room, Sam sees us and asks "Hey Dean, Hey Cas? What ya doing?"

Dean shrugs, "I wanted to show Cas something in my room, may take us a while."

Sam groans and rolls his eyes, "Gross Dean. Seriously dude?"

Dean laughed, I stayed silent and Sam must have attributed to nervousness because he didn't say anything. Dean pushed me into his bedroom onto the bed, "Sweet Angel, Dean has no idea how sweet you are, how wonderful you taste. I can't wait to sink into you. I cannot imagine, I may even let Dean feel everything, just keep him under raps so he can feel what he always wanted to."

I shivered a little and closed my eyes, "Why are you doing this demon?"

Dean's eyes became black again and he smirked, "Because I can Angel. Because I have been wanting your death since you killed my father."

I felt utterly confused, "I am sorry I do not understand?"

The Demon laughed and his eyes went back to looking like Dean's, "Alistair, while he may not have been actually my father, I certainly considered him so."

I closed my eyes, the story we had told people was that I killed Alistair, not Sam. I couldn't reveal that it was really Sam, and put Sam in danger. "I didn't know Alistair had anyone he considered a child. I didn't know Alistair could even care about anyone so much."

The demon laughed, "I was Alistair's best student before Dean here came along, Dad was real proud of Dean."

I flinched, remembering finding Dean torturing a soul, "Just, do what you want to me, I will not fight."

The demon nodded, "I know you won't Angel, that is my favorite part. Because I have your complete submission, Did Dean ever tell you how Alistair actually got him to start torturing souls, it's a fun story. Ooohh by the way Dean is begging me not to tell you I will guess he didn't. See what daddy's specialty to break people was to rape them, sautamize them. So Alistair raped Dean for months before he finally said gave in."

Suddenly Sam busted in and started to exorcise the demon but he laughed and held an angel blade to my chest, "Sammy boy, keep going and I plunge this angel blade into Sweet Angel's ribs!"

Sam's eyes connected with mine and I cried out, "Just keep going Sam!"

Sam nodded hastily and continued the exorcism but not before the Demon stabbed me in the chest, I didn't yell or cry out. I just let out a little gasp of pain. The smoke dissipated from the room and Dean was about to pull the blade out but Sam stopped him, "Dean wait! Pulling out the blade could do more damage…"

Dean's eyes connected with mine and I could tell he blamed himself, my vision was going grey and fuzzy at the edges and I knew it wouldn't be long but I softly cupped his cheek and said, "Shhh, it's okay Dean. It wasn't you, I love you Dean, will always love you." I wanted to say more but everything was going dark.

As the rest of the world faded to black and I faintly felt Dean's lips against mine and heard him cry, "No Cas! C'mon Cas please. I love you to so much please this can't be real."


	2. Chapter 2

**((Okay so, I was reading through this story and the idea for another Chapter hit me so! I am updating with a new chapter, I hope you guys all enjoy!))**

 **Dean's POV**

I closed my eyes and pressed my lips to Cas's bloody lips and clung tightly to his limp body. I sobbed hard burying my face in his neck. His normally warm body was cold, I could see the burnt remnants of Cas' wings, it made my chest feel so much tighter and I sobbed harder. I heard Sam trying to talk to me but I couldn't hear anything, past my heart pounding in my ears. & years I had spent loving Cas and doing nothing about it because he didn't understand his feelings, and I was to afraid of what everyone else would think… I could remember the last two days so clearly, the demon told me how he would kill Cas, he told me everything he would do. I fought so hard but whatever he did to me kept me locked in my mind but I could feel everything. I could feel Cas' lips when the demon had kissed him. I couldn't stop my sobbing, everything hurt so much. I was starting to get to the point that I had wanted to talk to Cas about our relationship. I looked up at the ceiling, and yelled, "Damn it you son of a bitch! You brought him back before! BRING HIM BACK YOU OMNISCIENT DICKBAG! BRING HIM BACK!"

No answer came and I looked down into Cas' once bright blue eyes, but now they held no life, and it hurt so much worse. I closed my eyes tightly and kissed Cas' lips again slowly. I could taste the blood that had pooled in his mouth. I slowly pulled the angel blade out of Cas' chest and let it clatter to the ground. Sam laid his hand on my shoulder, "Dean… Dean he is gone…"

I closed my eyes tightly and shrugged his hand off my shoulder, "No! NO DAMN IT GOD YOU SON OF A BITCH YOU HAVE BROUGHT HIM BACK BEFORE! THIS IS BULLSHIT!" Tears feel down my cheeks, as I whimpered into Cas' neck, "Just as I was ready to accept my feelings you take him away from me! WHAT IN THE HELL!"

I bit my lip hard, I could feel blood being drawn but I ignored it, it hurt so bad. I had lost Cas, because Cas was always my best friend, he had been there for me for a long time. Finally Sam grabbed my shoulder again tightly, "Dean he is gone…. I don't think he is coming back this time…w..we should burn the body…"

I closed my eyes tightly and the idea of burning Cas' body made me feel sick to my stomach. I knew that Cas deserved a Hunter's funeral, but I didn't want to give up yet. Sam started to say something else and I just snapped, "Get out! Just GO! LEAVE ME ALONE! IF YOU WOULD HAVE JUST STOPPED!"

I saw the hurt flash in Sam's eyes, and I felt bad, but right now all I cared about was the pale, limp body in my arms. Sam nodded and then left, closing the door to give me privacy. I stroked a hand shakily through Cas' hair, as I stared down into his eyes and the tears just wouldn't stop, "You should have let Sammy stop Cas…. I would have figured something out… Please Cas… Please just… just one more time come back… I need you… Please God, just bring him back one more time… I'll do anything. Anything for you please just… just bring him back one more time." I heard a flutter of wings and hope filled my chest, but I turned around and there stood Chuck Shurley, the prophet. The moment I saw him though I knew who he really was and I felt so angry again, "You bring him back!"

Chuck came over and looked at Cas' body and then he looked at me, "I am sorry Dean… but I told Cas, the last time I brought him back would be the very last time…"

I shook my head, "Please… Please I was going to tell him the truth, I was going to tell him I loved him. I can't live with the fact that he was killed by my hands, Please God, Please bring him back…"

Chuck sighed, "I prefer Chuck…"

I closed my eyes and bit out, "Fine… Chuck… please, please bring Cas back… I need Cas, I need him in my life…"

Chuck sighed, "I will bring him back… but only as a human… No grace, no healing, just a regular soul, I will give him his memories but he will be strictly human Dean. That choice is up to you."

I didn't need to think, I needed Cas in my life, so I looked at Chuck and nodded, "Do it…"

Chuck nodded and then he healed the hole in Cas' chest, and I few minutes later Cas coughed hard, and sputtered shakily, he looked around clearly shocked at what was going on before his eyes landed on me. "Dean…wha…what happened One minute I was in heaven.. the next I am here."

I shook my head and pressed my lips to Cas' hard and this time I tasted no blood, just Cas, and it took a minute but he kissed back. More tears fell from my eyes and I had to pull away so I could breathe, and I buried my face into Cas' neck and sobbed. I felt Cas' hands rubbing my back soothingly. I couldn't talk, Cas had been killed at my hands, and now he was human because of me. I hoped he wouldn't totally hate me. Finally after calming down some I shakily looked into Cas' eyes and said, "You're human… God… God said the only way he'd bring you back is if you were human… I can't live without you Cas, I just can't. After all the crap and the bullshit we have gone through together I couldn't live without you. I love you Cas, I have loved you for so long but I was to stupid to see it until recently. Just as I was ready to talk to you… I couldn't let you go Cas. I need you, and I, I want you to marry me Cas. You are human know, and I want to with you for the rest of our lives…"


	3. Chapter 3

**Cas' POV**

I stared into Dean's eyes as he asked me to marry him, "D…Dean what have you done…?

Dean bit his lip, "I couldn't live without you Cas… I begged God to bring you just one more time… He came… and told me I could have you just one more time but he would only bring you back as a human… I… I didn't have a choice… I couldn't live without you Cas, I need you okay…"

I struggled to find words, my mind was racing and felt so hazy as well. "I… I don't understand D…dean…"

He slowly nodded and kissed my forehead, "It's okay Cas, you are going to be fine okay. You were dead and you still have all your memories, you are just a regular old human now so you need to relax and don't force it okay. Close your eyes and relax okay, just take your time, I promise it'll be alright."

I closed my eyes, struggling to process what was going on, I could feel that I was human, I had to breathe, my body felt weak and odd. I bit my lip and shook my head, trying to process everything that was going on. The last thing I had actually remembered was the Demon that had possessed Dean thrusting the angel blade into my heart, I remembered faintly going to Heaven but that was it, suddenly I am back here with Dean cradling me in his arms and I was human. And then Dean had told me he loved me, and he wanted to Marry me, my head felt like a maze of confusion. I felt Dean softly running his hand through my hair, and I slowly opened my eyes, Dean softly smiled at me. "D…Dean"

He nodded, "Yeah Cas?"

I looked at him, started into his gorgeous green eyes, "I'm sorry Dean, I am just very confused. I love you also Dean, you have meant a lot to me over the years, I am so very privileged to have gotten the chance to know you Dean. I, I would love to marry you but I am just, as I said I am very confused."

Dean nodded and kissed my lips slowly, and my skin prickled with pleasure. He slowly pulled away from me and nodded, "I know Cas, I am sorry. I probably shouldn't have sprung the whole marriage thing on you. Just relax Cas, I've got you alright. Try to get some sleep alright, it'll help you work through some of this stuff alright. Just try to sleep some Cas," I closed my eyes, and slowly pressed myself closer to Dean. I slowly fell asleep, after I don't know how long it was before I woke up again, but I woke up pressed against Dean's chest. I looked at Dean's face to see dried tears on his cheeks, so I softly reached up and wiped them off, his eyes opened and he smiled a little, "Hey, How are you feeling Cas?"

I looked down at my hands, "I don't know. I mean, I feel better, I no longer feel so confused. However I feel rather weak, then again I am human now…"

Dean laughed a little bit, "You may be human but you will always be my Angel Cas."

I closed my eyes and bit my lip, "I won't ever be an angel again Dean, I'm just a human now, the term angel…. It doesn't apply to me"

Dean cupped my cheek a bit and he slowly kissed my lips, just as he pressed his lips harder to mine there was a knock on the door and I heard Sam's voice through the door, "Dean, you need to come out here and eat, listen Dean I know you are really broken up about losing Cas, I get it okay. Please Dean at lease come eat something,"

I frowned at Dean and whispered, "You didn't tell him you brought me back…."

Dean sighed and ran his hands through his hair and softly called out, "Sam… I gotta talk to you…"

Sam hesitated before opening the door, at first he didn't see that my eyes were open or that I was breathing, but then his eyes connected with mine and his eyes widened, "Cas, oh my god I thought you… I mean I saw the demon possessing Dean, I saw it kill you Cas, I mean I don't understand…"

I looked at Dean who was crying again, and I softly grabbed his hand to comfort him, "You will need to ask Dean what happened, I am a little fuzzy on the details…"

Dean closed his eyes and then looked up at Sam, "Chuck, he, he is good or maybe was just using Chuck as a vessel, I don't know… But he told me he would bring Cas back on more time… but he would only bring him back as a human, he would let him keep all his memories but he would be a hundred percent human… I didn't want to live without Cas again so I made the choice"

I closed my eyes as Dean talked, I bit my lip. Sam voiced my feelings, "No offense Dean but I mean.. I don't think that was really your choice… I hate to say this Dean but what about how Cas feels,"

Dean looked at me, "Cas… are you mad at me…"

I bit my lip and carefully shook my head, "I'm not mad Dean. I wasn't ready to be gone… to be without you… I am not sure… if I wish to be human though…"

Dean closed his eyes and sniffled back tears and closed his eyes, "I'm sorry Cas… I really am but I didn't want to leave without you. I will help you adjust to being a human okay, I promise I will be there for you for all of it okay."

I nodded and closed my eyes, softly nuzzling into Dean's chest sleepily, still extremely exhausted. "I told you I understand Dean, I really do honestly, I am sorry it's just that I am exhausted. I feel so bone deep exhausted."

Dean nodded and softly kissed my head, running a hand gently through my hair, "I get it Cas, I can't help that but why don't we go eat something, I am sure your stomach is empty, so come on."

I started to get up but I felt weak, and struggled to untangle from Dean, Dean helped me up and so did Sam. "Easy Cas, you haven't eaten in a long time and your body is pretty weak alright. Let us help you okay"

I nodded and leaned heavily on Dean as we walked towards the kitchen. He carefully helped me sit down at the table as he fixed me a plate of the food that Sam had made. I slowly ate the breakfast Dean staring at me quietly, so was Sam, and it was starting to be uncomfortable but before I could say anything Sam pulled Dean into what the boys had dubbed the war room.

 **((Okay, So Cas is human, hundred percent human. No getting out of it this time... Thanks so much for reading! Please Follow, Favorite and Leave a Review!))**


	4. Chapter 4

**Dean's POV**

I watched as Cas slowly ate his breakfast, when suddenly I was pulled into the War room. I growled a bit at Sam, "What the hell Sam?"

Sam sighed, "Sorry, but I'm worried about him Dean… I mean I get it, you needed him but I don't think it was fair for you to make that choice for him…"

I sighed and ran my hand through my hair also shaking my head, "Stop Sam okay. I am not arguing this shit alright, you don't get it. You just don't get it Sam. After everything Cas and I had been through I was ready to tell him how I felt… and then I get possessed and I get to watch my hands kill him! It wasn't just me needing to be with him… It was the fact that I had killed him!"

Sam sighed a little and ran his hand through his hair, "I'm sorry Dean,"

I nodded, then smiled a little, "Bitch"

He rolled his eyes, "Jerk"

I smiled and then went back to check on Cas who was eating slowly but his shoulder's had slumped slightly. I gently laid my hand on his shoulder, "Hey Cas you okay?"

He looked up at me with his gorgeous blue eyes, "Yeah I am just very tired Dean, feels like I haven't slept in weeks, I suppose technically I haven't"

I softly sat next to him and gently rubbed his back, "Get some food in you and then if you want you can go back to my room and sleep some more…" Cas nodded a little, and went back to eating his breakfast. I softly rubbed his back as he ate, he leaned against me only halfway through his breakfast. I wished Chuck would have at least brought him back feeling normal, now he was weak, and exhausted. I softly stroked a hand through his hair as he leaned against me, I realized his breathing had evened out and he had fallen asleep right there. I couldn't help but smile just a bit as I rubbed hisback gently. I carefully picked him up in my arms and cradled him close to my chest walking back to my room I stopped as I looked at the scorch marks of Cas' wings, and my heart squeezed in my chest. I shook my head and softly went to the room next to mine, I couldn't look at those scorch marks. Cas whimpered a little and cuddled into me more. I softly stroked his hair, before kissing his head. "Shhh, it's alright Cas. Your safe now okay, I promise I am going to keep you safe Cas."

Cas slowly opened his eyes and looked at me with confusion. "Hello Dean, I… I am sorry did I fall asleep?"

I laugh a little and nod, then kiss his lips softly, "It's okay Cas, your body needs rest."

He nodded slowly before carefully sitting up and looked around, "Why aren't we in your room?"

I bit my lip hard and closed my eyes, "Those scorch marks from your wings… I couldn't bear looking at them.. cause its my fault… I killed you and then… now you've lost your wings 'cause of me."

I felt Cas' hand cup my cheek, "Dean I told you when I was dying it wasn't your fault. You didn't kill me Dean, that Demon that possessed you did it."

I shake my head and closed my eyes tighter, "I got to see my hands plunge that angel blade into your chest Cas, me or not you really expect me to move on from that."

Cas sighed a little and he arched his head up and pressed his lips to mine, I kissed him back slowly and held his hand tightly. Cas smiled into our kiss and then softly pulled his lips from mine before cupping my cheek again, "Dean, yesterday you told me you loved me. I wanted to tell you how much I love you as well, since I pulled you from hell I loved you, as I pulled your soul back together, piece by magnificent piece I fell in love with you. Your soul was the purest soul I had ever laid my eyes on, even after all the time in hell. Your body had been torn to shreds by those hellhounds and I put your soul back in that broken body and I healed it all, I healed you. I fell in love with you as I did all of that Dean. I love you as well Dean,"

I closed my eyes hiding the tears that burned at the corners of my eyes, "You okay with being human…."

Cas laughed a little, "I do not have much choice in the matter"

I frowned a bit and looked at him, "Cas I want you to be happy, was Sam right… I shouldn't have made that choice for you… it wasn't my choice."

Cas shook his head, "I may not exactly like the idea of being a human, I mean I have been an angel for centuries. I still have all my memories, all those memories of being an angel. What heaven was like, but of all things I can remember the best, the thing that made me the happiest Dean, it was my time with you. When I was little, I had been so excited about so many things, and then I became a soldier. I forgot what it was like to feel until I met you, I knew what I felt was wrong, or at least I knew it was wrong for an angel. I would rather spend the rest of my human life with you than to be dead as an angel."

I smiled a little and kissed Cas hard, carefully cupping his cheek and smiling a little. I kissed him deeper, tasting Cas. He tasted so much better than I could have imagined, I softly pulled Cas closer to my chest. He pressed himself closer to me arching slightly into me and grinding up into my crotch, I couldn't stop the moan that slipped from my mouth. I knew Cas didn't understand exactly what he was doing, his body was just acting on instinct. I wanted to stop but he kept grinding his hips up into mine, I moaned out lowly and pulled from Cas' lips gently panting by his ear, I took a deep steadying breath before grabbing his hands, "Cas, stop." He groaned a bit before arching up into me again. I shook my head and kissed his head, "Shh Cas, You are just getting overwhelmed by your emotions. It's okay alright. I can't do this to you right now."

Cas groaned and shook his head, "I don't care Dean. I just don't care" I bit my lip and looked into his eyes, his pupils blown wide with lust and he was panting hard. "Oh screw it then" I kissed him roughly and ground my hips down into his crotch, and closed my eyes. I ignored the bit o me that said I shouldn't do this, that said I shouldn't push Cas to far. I kissed him hard and then I reached down, unbuttoned his pants, then slid my hand into his pants. I slowly wrapped my fingers around his half hard cock and gently rubbed his cock, eliciting lewd moans from his lips. I smiled a little and kept rubbing his cock slowly, he groaned and arched into me more. I pulled his pants down some, slowly pushing his boxers down. I kissed gently down his body as I shoved his pants off with his boxers, and looked up at him, his pupils blown with lust and he was panting just a bit. Without giving him any warning I took his cock in my mouth and slowly started sucking up and down, using my tongue on the underneath. Cas cried out and thrust his hips, but he did his best to stop himself obviously not wanting to hurt me. I kneaded his thighs gently sending him the message it was okay, as I swallowed around his cock and bobbed up and down slowly. Cas moaned loudly and arched into my mouth, he snaked his hands through my hair and suddenly his hands pulled my hair and he whimpered, "Dean, Dean stop I can't"

I quickly pulled myself off him and looked at him panting a little, and his eyes were no longer with lust but they held confusion and fear. My brain quickly realized I had hurt him and I pulled off him, standing up and I looked away. "I… I'm sorry Cas I didn't mean to… I shouldn't have"

Cas was panting hard on the bed and he pulled his boxers back up and then stood up and gently grabbed my hand, "It's okay Dean I know you didn't mean to, not really"

I looked him in the eyes and bit my lip, "I shouldn't have done that Cas… I just got carried away, and I shouldn't have done it…"

 **((Little touch of a sex scene here guys. Thank you all for reading this story so far! Please Follow, Favorite, and Leave a Review!))**


	5. Chapter 5

**Cas' POV**

I held Dean's hand gently, I had been overwhelmed by the feelings surrounding me when Dean had been doing what he was. For whatever pure fear had hit me as I realized things were going tofast , now Dean was standing here thinking he had hurt me. "Dean, please look at me. I know you got carried away, we both did. I am not angry at you and you did not physically hurt me."

Dean looked away again, and then he softly said "Yeah but your newly human Cas… you don't know any better, and I do. I should have listened to myself and stopped."

I sighed and gently pulled Dean close to me, softly rubbing my erection against his leg making sure he felt it, "I didn't want you to. As much as I love you though, we should take things a little bit slower do you agree?"

Dean nodded slowly, "Yeah I do… C'mon Cas, it's about dinner time, do you want something to eat."

My stomach gurgled at the mention of food and I realized how hungry I was, "Yeah that sounds very good Dean."

Dean smiles, "You need to get your pant's back on but with the hard on you may want to just put pajama bottoms on, it won't put so much pressure on your cock." Dean turned and was about to go look in the drawers before he sighed, "I'll be right back. Give me a few minutes alright?"

I nodded silently, and watched Dean leave, after a few minutes he was back holding a pair of his plaid pajama pants. I nodded gently "Thank you Dean. That is very kind of you"

He smiled and I took the pants from him, pulling them on. Then I let him lead me out to the kitchen, where Sam was on the phone with someone and making himself a salad. Dean rolled his eyes slightly, "Sam who are you talking to?"

Sam looked up and blushed, "Uh, talking to Luka… hunter we met a few months back…"

Dean smiled a little, "Oh really. What's Luka calling you for hmm? He need help with a hunt?"

Sam shook his head, "Uh..no he was just calling…"

Dean laughed a little and rolled his eyes, "Well move out the way, I am going to make Cas dinner you weird herbivore"

Sam rolled his eyes and moved over then went back to his conversation, "Yeah, Yeah he doesn't approve of my desire to actually eat healthy. Yeah I know hunter food Luka, grew up with it all my life but I like to actually eat healthy food." I smiled a little and watched the two brothers, Sam came over and sat next to me and ate his salad still talking on the phone, "You sound like my brother Luka. Yeah well he is a Jerk, so are you. Oh really now? Yeah well fuck off you asshole. Oh really? Yeah well, I should go Luka, yeah. Yeah hey, be safe, if you need back up call me alright. Yeah, bye"

I smiled a little at Sam, I could tell he had feelings for the person on the other end of the phone line. I looked up as Dean placed a plate in front of me with some steak and potatoes, "Thank you Dean"

He nodded and sat across from me and started eating, I was half way through my dinner before I started feeling heavy and exhausted again. I felt myself start to drift off and Dean cleared his throat, "Cas your falling asleep again."

I shook my head clearing my head, "Sorry just feel so heavy…"

Dean nodded before standing and then helping me up, "Yeah come on, you need some more rest."

I nodded a little and got up with him and as we walked I leaned heavily against him, when we were by Dean's room I stared at the scorch marks that had been left behind by my wings, and I slowly pulled my hands away from Dean's and went to his room, and I stared at them before slowly touching the tips of what used to be my right wing. I heard Dean standing at the door, The room was small so the very tip of my right wing had stretched up onto the wall. There was a tightness in my chest and I closed my eyes tightly, the idea that never again would I get to see my wings or fly made my chest ache. Suddenly I felt Dean's arms wrap around me and he rubbed my back, "Shh hey your okay Cas, take a breath okay." I didn't realise I was struggling to breathe until Dean had wrapped his arms around me, and suddenly it felt like I couldn't breathe at all. Dean grabbed my hands and put them on his chest, "Breathe with me Cas, feel me breathe in, and out. There you go, there that's it. C'mon then slowly. There ya go Cas, I've got you now okay,"

I was still somewhat struggling to breathe but Dean was helping me calm down, I closed my eyes and hid my hands in my face. Dean kept rubbing my back, "s..sorry I just…"

Dean shook his head and lightly pressed his lips to the side of my head, "Hey it's okay Cas, you just got overwhelmed again. You had a panic attack, Just keep breathing with me alright, it'll help. Sammy used to get these all the time this was the only way to calm him down ever. You know how Sammy was talking on that phone to that guy Lukas, well a month or two back Sam mentioned him but instead of calling him Lukas he said Luka. I think he has got a crush on him you know." As Dean talked I could feel myself calming down, soon my breathing was normal again and Dean slowly helped me up. I followed him to the room next door, and gently laid down with him. "Talk to me Cas, what got you so upset…."

I closed my eyes shakily, "I… I am never going to fly again…"

Dean sighed heavily and hugged me tightly, "I'm sorry Cas, I am so sorry"

I nodded and buried my face in his chest, and started sobbing again. Dean started rubbing my back and I felt him hugging me tightly. I am not sure how long it was before I had cried myself to sleep. When I started to wake up again Dean was still holding me but his grip had loosened as he was sleeping. I wiped the tears from my eyes and watched Dean sleeping, I smiled a little, despite my desire to be able to fly again I would always love Dean, and want to be with him. I softly kissed his head and pulled out of his arms, then went to Dean's old room again staring at the burnt remnants of my wings again before looking at the door, I closed it and then closed my eyes, "God I know you are listening... I am not going to ask you to give my wings back, I just wish to speak with you about a few things…"

I heard a slight flutter of wings and felt a whoosh of air behind me, and I wanted so badly to turn around but at the same time I was terrified, I heard Chuck's voice, "Hello Castiel…"

I took a shakey deep breath and turned around, there stood Chuck, "Hello Father…"

He stepped closer to me and smiled a little, the smile looked odd on his face but I said nothing, "You wanted to talk to me Cas, it helps to actually talk…"

I bit my lip, "Last time I saw you, you had taken no form. However you had informed me that would be the last time you would bring me back, and then you tell Dean you will bring me back as a human. I do not wish to argue father…"

Chuck laughs a little and softly shook his head, "Dean was begging me Cas, I gave him a choice. He made it because he needed you. You and Dean can live the rest of your lives together, your vessel James Novak was a few years older then Dean. I know you are scared Castiel, you are worried that just being human won't be enough for Dean, but it is Cas. It's why you called me here isn't it Cas?"

I bit my lip and closed my eyes, then took a deep breath and nodded, "Dean fell in love with me as an angel father, how can I expect him to love me now that I am just a human… I mean I can't heal him or Sam if they get hurt… I can't protect them"

Chuck shook his head, "They don't care about it, it may have been convenient that way but Dean will never stop loving you Cas. Trust me the two of you will fight, and you are going to hurt each other, but you two will never stop loving each other Cas. So, I am going to remove the marks, I left them so you would know to call me, had a feeling you would have forgotten otherwise. So, live your life with Dean, Cas. Live the rest of your human life as Castiel Novak, simply change your vessels name, and that will legally make your birthday July 10, 1973 Cas, I know this is confusing for you right now, I will restore your vessel so you can be a regular human, you will still have your memories, I won't take those away however I will help you adjust a bit okay. So close your eyes Castiel" I did as Chuck asked me and closed my eyes, and somehow everything just felt balanced, all the human emotions felt normal, as if I had always had them and been used to them. I gasped out at the shock of it all and Chuck laid his hand on my shoulder, "Easy son, this part is going to be the worst of it, everything is snapping to place is all that's happening right now. Okay now one deep breath and you will feel better" after a long deep breath in everything was calm, it almost felt like nothing had changed but at the same time everything had changed. I looked up and Chuck was still standing there and he nodded a little, before snapping his fingers and the burn marks that had once been my wings were gone. "I needed to talk to you because I wanted to have one last chat with you and explain things, You were always one of my favorites Castiel, so take care of yourself. When it is your time, I will welcome you again and give you your wings once more." With that he disappeared. I looked around relieved that the scorch marks were gone, and I realized where Chuck had been standing, there was a pile of official looking papers. When I went over and picked them up I smiled, because he had given me everything I would need to start my life as a human, a birth certificate that now instead of James Novak said Castiel Novak, social security card, Driver's Liscense, everything I would need as a human, to spend the rest of my life with Dean Winchester.

 **((OKay, so I sort of like this as a way of ending. I haven't completely decided yet, just saying it may be a good ending for this story. For now though I will leave this open and in progress. Thank you all for reading, Please Follow, Favorite, And Leave a Review!))**


	6. Chapter 6

**Dean's POV**

I groaned silently as I woke up, Cas' weight was gone from my chest and I looked around to see Cas sitting at the desk looking through a bunch of random papers. I slowly sat up and looked at him, "Hey Cas? How are you feeling?"

Cas turned around and smiled a little, "Hello Dean… sorry did I wake you?"

I shook my head a bit, he didn't look so pale anymore and not nearly as tired. I pushed myself out of bed and smiled a little at him, "Nah you're fine Cas"

He nodded and then looked at the papers in his hands, "Chuck came… we talked… he made things better. He made things easier for me, adjusted things so I feel much better. He gave me paperwork, to get around and start a human life, because I just don't think I can be a hunter Dean. "

I nodded and went to him, looking through the paperwork, and I laughed a little, "Castiel Novak? Born July 10th, 1973. That makes you 6 years older, technically anyways. Your birthday is coming up babe, we got two weeks til your birthday. What do you want to do?"

Cas looked up at me, with a slight tilt of his head, "But that is not the date of my birth Dean?"

I sighed, then rolled my eyes and kissed his head, "No but it was your vessels birthday and we need a date to celebrate you being human you know…"

Cas smiled and then nodded and kissed me softly, "We should go back to sleep Dean. It is only 3 am."

I nodded, pulled Cas to his feet and back to the bed then laid down. I pulled him close to my chest and kissed his head. "You know Cas, the other day when you woke up and I told you I wanted to marry you. With all this paperwork we could do that, if you wanted to I mean… Now you're human so that means you don't have to hang around me and Sam. You could do anything you like, I get it if you don't want to stick around…"

Cas chuckled a little before pulling me close and kissing me deeply his hands cupping my cheeks, "Dean sometimes you are so stupid. Dean I told you before I loved you. I have loved you since the moment I laid my hands on your soul and pulled you from perdition. I personally rebuilt every aspect of your body Dean, I used massive amounts of my grace to rebuild you. I even embedded a piece of grace in your soul to heal yours. It's the brand on your shoulder. Where I had to hold onto your soul while I rebuilt it, that is where my grace had embedded in your soul if I touch it now, even now I can just barely sense it. It's not harmful to your soul or anything it just filled a small hole in your soul and left a brand on your soul as well. You are so wonderful Dean Winchester, I have been so enthralled with you since we met. I love you so much Dean, and I would rather be a human with you, than be an angel without you."

I closed my eyes and rested my head on his shoulder and held back the tears, trying to accept the words of love from Cas but for so long I had been a selfish, self-depricating, asshole. I still wasn't sure if I deserved Cas in my life but I knew I needed him. Cas rubbed my back soothingly and kissed the side of my forhead before gently whispering, "And I will spend the rest of my life as a human to prove it to you Dean"

 **MATURE CONTENT AHEAD**

I buried my face in his neck and bit my lip to fight the tears. I hugged him tightly and closed my eyes, before shaking my head and kissing him roughly, blocking out everything else except him. I ground my hips up into his crotch. Cas moaned gently and arched into me as well, he kissed me deeply and cupped my cheek before pulling away to pull my shirt off. I groaned as he rubbed his hand on my crotch, I felt his hands slowly unbuttoning my jeans. I shivered in pleasure and closed my eyes softly, "Oh Christ Cas your hands feel so wonderful…"

Cas smiled, then making quick work of removing our clothes his hands moving all over as if he didn't know where to put them. Finally I flipped us over, taking control of the situation and I ran my fingers over his chest and down to his cock, it was hard and already leaking precome. I slowly rubbed the slit of his cock gathering the beads of precome and rubbing it down his cock, causing Cas to groan loudly in pleasure and arch up into my hand. I kissed along Cas' neck making him whimper and arch into me as I slowly jerked him off, I ignored the throbbing in my cock because right now I was taking care of Cas. Suddenly I felt Cas' hand on my hard and leaking cock, his touches were hesitant and unsure but he rubbed slowly and a lewd moan spilled from my lips. I let go of Cas' cock and reached into the drawyer of the bedside table, grabbing out the lube I had brought into this room in case a situation like this arose, although I certainly didn't think it would be happen so soon. I looked at Cas, his eyes were open wide with lust and he was watching me closely, "Cas… I want to fuck you…"

Cas nodded quickly and he kept watching as I squirted some lube into my fingers, rubing them together to warm the lube. I kissed down his body and slowly rubbed a finger around his hole making him jump a little. I used my clean hand to hold his hips down and I looked up at him to make sure he was okay, he nodded "J..just surprised me sorry…"

I felt my cock give an interested twitch at the sound of Cas' voice, which somehow had gotten even lower. I slowly licked up and down Cas' cock as I pushed one finger in making Cas hiss slightly and his body reacted by trying to fore my finger out so I gently rubbed Cas' thigh and met his eyes which were closed at the moment, "Hey easy Cas. Look at me, there ya go. You need to relax okay, I promise I am gunna take good care of you but you gotta relax."

Cas nodded quickly and took a deep breath in before letting it out, his body relaxed and I smiled. I slowly licked up and down Cas' cock before taking his cock in my mouth, slowly working a second finger into him. This time he didn't tense up and I slowly worked my fingers in and out scissoring open his hole, suddenly my fingers rubbed the right spot and Cas cried out loudly. I smirked and slowly pulled off his cock with a wet pop, and watched Cas writhe in pleasure as I stretched him open, once I was sure he was properly stretched I pulled my fingers out making Cas whine slightly. I grabbed the lube and rubbed it onto my hard cock, and situated myself between Cas' legs, and my cock at his entrance. "Okay Cas, this is going to hurt again alright, but try to stay relaxed okay."

Cas nodded shakily, and I kissed him slowly as I pushed my cock inside his hole, make Cas reach his arms around my back and dig his nails into the skin of my back. I whispered soothing words into Cas' ear as I slowly pushed my cock all the way in. His body was taut, but soon he was relaxing and I gently started to move, pulling out slowly and going slowly back in. Cas moaned loudly and arched into me as I slowly fucked him, he suddenly gasped, "Fuck Dean right there"

I smirked and angled myself so I was hitting that spot on every single thrust, and I started speeding up, the desire to cum took over as I rammed into Cas over and over. Cas was whimpering and crying out in pleasure as I kept hitting his prostate over and over. Soon I felt the familiar heat pool in my belly as I was on the edge, Cas was whimpering and I could tell he was close but he didn't understand what was going on so I kept thrusting but leaned down to cup his cheek and softly whispered, "It's okay Cas. Just let go for me babe. Cum for me Cas"

Suddenly he cried out and Cas came in long white spurts, painting both of our stomachs with white, and his ass spasmed with his orgasm throwing me so far over the cliff I saw stars and I cam screaming Cas' name. I buried my face in Cas' neck, panting hard and shivering from the pleasure. Cas was clearly confused but I could tell he was still riding the high of his orgasm, panting hard still. I lightly kissed his neck as I pulled my softened cock out of his hole, before collapsing next to him and shaking hard. Cas softly turned closer to me and cuddled his nose into my neck sleepily, I smiled and then realized I needed to clean the both of us up so I reached for a t-shirt and cleaned us up haphazardly. Cas groaned a little with sleep and cuddled closer to me, "Love you dean"

I smiled and ran a hand through his hair and gently kissed his head, "I love you to Cas. Close your eyes and go to sleep okay"

Cas nodded a little burrowing his nose into my neck, and soon his breathing slowed down and evened out as he finally fell asleep. I watched him sleep for a few minutes before my eyes drifted closed and I too fell asleep.

 **((Okay sooo I have lost motivation for my other story at the moment but this one is still giving me ideas soo gunna keep writing. Thank you all for reading!** ** _Also sorry if this sex scene is average at best. I am not the best at writing those))_**


	7. Chapter 7

Cas' POV

When I woke up Dean was wrapped loosely around me, I smiled a little as I remembered what had happened last night, my body felt sore and slightly sticky but I was so comfortable in Dean's arms. Finally I got up, carefully untangling myself from Dean despite his little groans of protest, and pulled the pair of pajama pants Dean had given on. I made my way to the closest bathroom and started up the hot water, climbing in to the shower I closed my eyes as the water loosened my tight and sore muscles. After maybe 10 minutes I finally decided to get out, pulling on the pajama pants and haphazardly drying my hair, making it a mess but truthfully I was so exhausted I didn't care. I went into the kitchen to make myself a cup of coffee, Sam came in shortly after talking on the phone again. "Yeah I know Luka, I want to tell Dean to Luka but he has been under a lot of stress… Yeah Luka the Cas thing, why are you being an ass about this Luka. Okay but if it was someone you truly loved, and you personally had killed what would you do? Exactly!" I winced as I realized what Sam was talking about, Sam's back had been to me but he turned around to sit at the table and he saw me, his eyes widening, "Hey Cas…"

I nodded slightly, "Hello Sam"

Sam smiled a little before going back to his conversation, "Yeah Luka not the best time. Yes Cas is right there. Yeah okay, talk to you later."

I sipped the coffee and looked at the cup, "Are you in a relationship with Luka…?" Sam nodded slightly, "You do not wish to tell Dean yet because you are worried he will be upset?"

Sam nodded a little, "Yeah… I mean I know how protective Dean is over me and I don't want to stress him out after… after you know what happened…"

I nodded and took a drink from my coffee then looked up at Sam, "Your brother already has an idea Sam, I saw him when you were talking to Lukas. He may not now exactly but he certainly has an idea"

Sam blushed deeply and looked down into his coffee cup, "Does he really?"

I nodded a little, "Yes you should talk to him Sam, I believe he is more open to the idea then you may think Sam…"

Sam ran a hand absently through his hair and nodded, "Yeah I will… Will you be there and keep him calm…"

I smiled a little and nodded, "I will if you wish,"

Sam nodded then got up, "You want something to eat Cas? Since we moved to the bunker he tends to sleep in so he may not be up for another hour or two."

Just as I was about to reply Dean's gruff morning voice replied, "Fuck off Sammy, I am awake alright,"

Sam rolled his eyes but I smiled and watched as Dean pulled out eggs, sausage and bacon. I smiled as Dean made breakfast for Sam and me. As Dean was busy I looked at Sam who, was very clearly gathering the courage to talk to Dean about Lukas. Once Dean had finished breakfast, he put the plates on the table and sat down next to me and across from Sam. Sam looked at Dean, "So Dean… about Lukas…"

Dean looked up and he smiled just the slightest, and of course Sam missed it, before he hardened his face. "What does he need our help to pull his idiot ass out of the fire…"

Sam sighed then rolled his eyes, "No you Jerk… Look about a month ago Luka and I started to hang out more often, I uh… well we sorta started dating…"

Dean narrowed his eyes, and he shook his head. "I don't like it. He reminds me to much Gabriel Sam"

Sam closed his eyes and ran a hand through his hair, "Why of all people, do you have to bring him up! Damn it Dean!"

I put a hand on Dean's hand hoping to calm him a bit, his shoulders relaxed a little and he sighed, "Sorry Sammy… look I get you like Luka, I mean he is a hunter so he understands the life, I won't say you can't cause it's your life… I just mean, you need to be careful is all."

Sam took a deep long breath before closing his eyes, and nodding. "I have been careful Dean… I will be careful…"

Dean sighed a little before smiling a little at me, "How are you feeling?"

I shrugged a little, "Fine… I suppose…"

Dean smiled at me, before kissing my head and getting up to clear the table. I looked at Sam who was hiding tears, and I frowned then I looked at Sam. "Sam… what's wrong…"

Sam looked up at me then shook his head and closed his eyes, "He just had to bring up Gabe…."

I sighed and looked at Sam, "You were there weren't you… when my brother…"

Sam bit his lips and buried his face in his hands, "I went in, Gabe told us not to to leave as fast as we could but I had to try and save him… I got there just after Lucifer had left… I told Dean to go and I would meet up with him…"

I sighed, I had seen the signs of Sam falling in love with Gabriel but I hadn't been sure then, now though it was obvious. I touched Sam's shoulder to comfort him, "You loved him…"

Sam nodded a little, "Dean is right though… Lukas is so much like Gabe it hurts sometimes. It scares the hell out of me sometimes 'cause once in a while he will say something that is just so very Gabe and I forget for a moment that Gabe is gone. Why the hell do you think I am so careful around Lukas, because if I am not careful I have no clue what could happen Cas.."

I nodded a little, "Just give yourself time, you have to let go of Gabe. I know how hard it is but Gabe lost his life at the hands of my oldest brother, if you don't let go of Gabe now your relationship with Lukas may not last long and I want to see you happy Sam…"

Sam smiled a little, so obviously sad, before nodding a bit, "Thanks Cas… Anyways I am going to go to the library and look for a case…"

I nodded and then watched Dean as he came back in, and finished cleaning things up. I frowned at Dean, "You knew that Sam loved Gabriel Dean, and you brought him up?"

Dean sighed and laid his hands on the counter top, his back was to me, "I was mad and I was being stupid alright… Something about Lukas is off and its scary how much he reminds of Gabe alright! I just can't stop myself from worrying about my little brother especially when I think about Gabe okay… Losing Gabe broke Sam's heart Cas…"

I sighed a little, stood up and carefully rubbed Dean's back between his shoulders, his body relaxing a little. I cupped his cheek and softly kissed his head. Dean looked at me with tears in his eyes and I sighed before kissing him gently, "And you know how hard it was to see me die... by your hands"

 **((Hope you are all enjoying this so far))**


	8. Chapter 8

**Sam's POV**

I sat in front of my laptop in the Library of the bunker, holding my face in my hands as I tried to fight the tears. Like Cas said, Gabriel was gone and I had to let go for the sake of my relationship with Luka, I had almost calmed down before my phone rang, I knew the ringtone was Luka's and I almost didn't answer until I saw a text as well saying '911'. I quickly answered the phone, "Luka? What's wrong?"

Luka's voice came through but he sounded like he was hurt, "Heya Sammy… got myself in a tight spot… can you come help me out"

I quickly responded, "Course we can Lukas… tell me where you are and we will be there as soon as possible"

Luka laughed a little and I could hear the pain in his voice, "L…lawrence, Kansas. I was hunting a… a demon…"

I closed my eyes and bit my lip, "Of all places to end up, your lucky Lawrence isn't to far from us you idiot. I'll get Dean and Cas…"

Luka coughed, and it was a disgusting wet sound that was making my heart ache, "Kay… hurry up Sammy boy…"

I nodded, "Just stay on the line with me Luka okay, just stay on the line with me."

Luka coughed again and his voice was a little softer, "Can't. Gotta go Moosey"

My chest tightened when he called me Moosey, it was something Gabe had often times called me. I heard Luka hang up and I got out of the chair so fast it clattered to the ground, "Dean! Go start the impala Luka needs our help!"

I ran to my room to grab medical supplies cause from the way Luka sounds he is pretty badly hurt, I threw as much as I could into my duffel bag then ran out to the garage where Dean had already started up Baby and they were both sitting in the front seat. I haphazardly threw my bag into the trunk before getting into the backseat. Dean turned around to me, "Where we going?"

"Lawrence. He texted me an address, uh..wh.. what the hell…?" I stared at the address and my chest tightened.

Dean stared at me, "What where is he?"

I looked at him, "Our old house…"

Dean's eyes widened and he bit his lip before turning back and driving, I could see how tense he was so could Cas. Cas tried to comfort him with a hand on his arm but it was doing nothing to help him. I stared at the text, and remembered my conversation with Luka, he said he had been hunting down a demon, but why was the demon in our old house. Once we were halfway there Dean finally spoke, "What was he hunting…"

I bit my lip, "Uh.. a demon…"

Dean's body went even more rigid and I felt terrible, I knew the idea of a demon being in our old house brought back bad memories for Dean but I needed to help Luka. We pulled onto the street and the first thing I noticed was Luka's classic '67 bright red mustang parked a few house's down from our old home. As soon as Dean pulled up across the street I got out and grabbed my duffel bag, things we would need in case the demon was still around and my shot gun. I loaded it with rock salt and then looked at Dean who already had a gun in his hands, and Cas who was standing on the side obviously unsure of himself, so I handed Cas the bag with medical supplies. "Stay behind us Cas, I can't carry my stuff and the medical supplies so can you?"

Cas nodded slightly, obviously determined to help in some way. Dean as always went in the house first, it had clearly been abandoned but it looked as if someone was fixing it up. After clearing the downstairs I made my way upstairs, I cleared the other rooms before looking at the door of the room that had once been my nursery. I went in and there Luka laid in a pool of blood and an Angel blade in his side, I frowned and ran to his side, "Luka, hey luka wake up?"

Cas stared from the doorway before my talking brought him into action and he ran over with the bag and kneeled next to me, I was about to pull the blade out but Cas stopped me, "Sam, wait a minute something is not right. You said he was hunting a demon? Why does a demon have an angel blade… and why would he use it on a human?"

I shook my head and looked at Luka whose eyes had opened and he smiled, "Hey there Moose."

He coughed and sputtered blood then looked at Cas, and he frowned, "Cassie.. good to see ya"

Cas' eyes widened as if he realized something I didn't , "That is not possible"

Luka laughed a little, "Wrong silly seraph. Except you're not a seraph anymore. Just a human, funny. Sam pull the blade out"

I looked between Cas and Luka, still completely confused. "Pulling the plade out will do more damage Luka."

Luka shook his head, "Nah I promise. Just pull the blade out Sam"

I nodded and pulled the blade out quickly, and a burst of light went through the room before it darkened again, and the hole in Luka's side was gone, I realized he was an angel and I got up quickly and pulled away, "No…" I shook my head and turned my back fighting the tears.

I heard Cas helping Luka up, before he came over to me and put a hand on my arm, "Sam… Sam listen to me okay… I am not just another angel… I'm not even just an archangel… Sam I am your archangel…"

Realization hit me so hard I nearly collapsed, but he caught me and sat me down on the floor. I stared into his eyes and everything hurt so badly. I barely could choke out, "Gabriel…"

He nodded slightly, "Heya Moosey." I buried my face in his neck and cried so hard, I could feel his hands on my back and running through my hair, gently. "I'm sorry Sam… I hadn't wanted to tell you like this but that stupid Demon attacked me… I've been suppressing my powers so it had the upper hand, I hadn't even seen it take my blade until it was to late…"

I closed my eyes tighter and clung desperately to my angel. Dean had come in and taken Cas out of the room at some point and I was just shaking so hard. "Y..you died Gabe.. I held you in my arms after Lucifer left… you died…"

Gabe nods a little, "I was dead.. but Dad had to rebuild me. It takes much longer to rebuild me than it does for a regular angel… I had to get a new vessel though… who better than a hunter… I gave him control most the time… then he got killed… before I found you… I nearly died but Lukas gave what was left of his soul to help me heal myself… but he burned out… I hated myself for a while.. but I kept hunting, keeping up appearances and trying to find you… then you found me.. about to be eaten by a wendigo… I had been suppressing my powers so I couldn't just smite it… It couldn't sense that I was an angel cause I had been suppressing my grace so much…"

I closed my eyes and then looked at Gabe, "That's why you've been so mad about this whole Cas being a human thing… you are mad at Dean for making that choice…"

Gabe sighed, "He shouldn't have made that choice for Cas…"

I closed my eyes and hugged Gabe tightly to my chest, "If I was in the same situation.. and I had the same choice… I would make that same choice"

Gabe narrowed his eyes at me and shook his head, "Damn Winchester's."

I hugged Gabe tightly and buried my nose in his neck, "You son of a bitch. I fucking hate you…"

Gabe laughed a little and shook his head, "No you don't."

I closed my eyes fighting the tears that threatened to escape, "Yes I do.. you left me…"

Gabe kissed my head and hugged me tightly, "I know Sam.. I know… I am so sorry…"

 **((Figured we would get a perspective from Sammy... Bit of a surprise to guys))**


	9. Chapter 9

**Dean's POV**

I stood in the hallway with Cas while Sam was in his old bedroom with Gabe, I was pissed at Gabe but then Cas explained to me how long it would have taken for God to rebuild Gabe. I still was worried about Sam getting hurt again, but for now I knew Sam needed time with Gabe. Cas was clearly in shock though, so I took his hand and pulled him close to me, "You taking this okay Cas?"

Cas looked up at me and bit his lip, "I am unsure Dean… I mean… Gabriel was very kind to me when I was a fledgling so losing him had hurt… but having him back I am unsure"

I kissed his head gently and hugged him, "You are jealous…"

Cas bit his lip and then nodded a little, "Yes I believe so…"

I held him as we waited for Sam and Gabriel to finish talking. After a few minutes the door opened and Sam walked through, I could see how broken he was feeling but he was keephimg himself in control, "Hey Sammy…"

Sam nodded a little, "So did Cas fill you in…"

I nodded and then let go of Cas and hugged Sam, "You okay?"

Sam smiled a bit and nodded, "Yeah… He wants to talk to you and Cas…"

I nodded and then took Cas' hand, taking him into the room. I looked at Gabriel's new vessel, he was taller then me this time, maybe an inch shorter than Sam. His hair was red and short, choppy similarly to Cas' only real difference was the red coloring. His were a deep blue and he had freckles all over his face. "So…"

Gabe narrowed his eyes at me, then looked at Cas, "Hey Cassie.. how you doing..?"

Cas bit his lip a little, before nodding. "I am fine brother."

Gabe could tell Cas was lying and walked over, putting a hand on his shoulder, "Cas, you are a shitty liar… So tell me the truth"

Cas sighed and looked down at his hands, "I do not wish to speak on the matter of my feelings right now brother. It is good to see you alive, I see you have a new vessel…"

Gabe sighed and then nodded, "Yeah, Sammy gave me a hunter's funeral… burned my old vessel into dust… and after father rebuild me I did not wish to wait for him to rebuild my old vessel, I simply found a new one… Aside from being ginger I really love this vessel. The man who occupied this vessel was a great man, I gave him control most of the time. He died just before Sam found me… I uh.. I had been suppressing my grace, trying to keep myself to appear human.. I was planning on talking to Sam about things… I had no choice when the demon attacked me… She had put a hex on my blade so I couldn't pull it out myself…"

Cas was nodding as he listened, I looked at Gabe, "Mind if I interrupt here…"

Gabe narrowed his eyes at me again but then he nodded, "I suppose."

I sighed and pulled my arm away from Cas, "I am glad your back, to be with Sam. Please don't hurt him again, because when you died Gabriel it nearly destroyed my brother and I will not see him go through that again. Cas was also extremely hurt, he hid it better, he has seen his brothers die before but I will not see either of them go through that again. I'm not trying to step on your toes but I don't wish to see my little brother or my boyfriend go through that hell again."

Gabe laughed and stepped closer to me, "You made a choice for Cas, that you had no right to make"

I clenched my fist, wanting so badly to punch him square in the jaw but Cas' hand on my arm stopped me and he looked at Gabe, "Brother I may not be able to do serious harm to you with angelic powers but I still have Enochian spells in my head including the forbidden spell, So I ask you only once to drop that subject. I am not angry with Dean, I would rather live as a human with Dean than be a dead angel without him."

Gabe's eyes widened and he stepped back before laughing and hugging Cas, "There's my little brother." He then looked at me and smirked, "Oh lighten up Dean-o. So are we going to find Cassie a job? Cause no offense Cas but you are not exactly a hunter."

Cas rolled his eyes, "I fought wars in heaven brother… I am a skilled fighter. However I do not wish to be a hunter… Dean and I talked about me getting a job at the Gas station near the bunker."

Gabe nodded, "Okay Cas. I want to spend some time with my moosey so lets head back, we can pick up an application for you on our way."

I rolled my eyes, to mentally exhausted to argue. Then took Cas' hand and went down the stairs with him, Sam was loading things up in the trunk and looked up at us. I nodded a little before climbing into the impala and starting her up. Eventually we got back to the bunker after stopping at a few small gas stations on our way back to get applications for Cas to get a normal job. Once we were inside Gabe and Sam went to his bedroom and I took Cas to my room because he looked so exhausted and worn out. Even though it was only about 4 pm, I helped Cas change into pajama pants, and then he laid down on the bed and quickly fell asleep. I smiled before changing into my boxers and my black t-shirt, then laid down with Cas, who pretty much purred and snuggled closer to me. I rubbed his back slowly and listened to him breathing, it was enough to lull me to a deep restful sleep.

 **((So sort of a rubbish chapter. Hope you are all enjoying it, Please Follow, Favorite and Leave a review to let me know what you are thinking!))**


	10. Chapter 10

**Cas' POV**

I groaned softly as I woke up, my stomach was empty and it growled hungrily. I started to sit up but Dean's arms wrapped tighter around me. I smiled and looked up at him, his eyes were still closed but he was still clinging tightly to me. I tried again to pull out of his arms but he growled a little and pulled me in tighter to his chest, I rolled my eyes and cleared my throat "Dean… Dean… I am hungry can you…" I realized how desperately he was holding me and I frowned, and watched as he started to make small whining noises and his speech was unrecognizable but it became obvious to me he was having a nightmare. I nearly pressed my fingers to his head to stop it before I remembered I couldn't just do that anymore, so I nudged him gently, cupping his cheek. My voice soothing him as best as I could, "Hey..Dean you're okay. You are safe Dean, I've got you. Wake up Dean"

Dean wasn't listening to me, his body writhing a little and he suddenly cried out, "CAS NO!" He sat up suddenly as he cried out and it was clear he had woke up.

I tried to touch him but he flinched away and got up and stood in front of him, his eyes were wide with panic, and he was breathing as if he had run for hours. I kneeled down in front of him at the edge of the bed between his legs and took his hand that was resting on his knee, he almost flinched before his eyes connected with mine. His eyes were still somewhat glazed over as if he was still somewhat stuck in his nightmare so I gently rubbed my thumb over Dean's hand, "I'm okay Dean. I am right here, see I am safe. We are both safe Dean,"

Finally Dean's eyes actually connected with mine and he let out a large sigh, then he pulled me up enough so he could hug me tightly, he let out a small whimper but stayed quiet for a few minutes. Finally he pulled away and he tried to smile but I could see he was struggling, "Y..you hungry Cas? I am starving?"

I wanted to talk to him about the nightmare but I could see right now he was in no mood to talk about it so I just nodded, "Yes I am hungry."

Dean nodded and then helped me up fully, before leading me to the kitchen. I didn't realise I wasn't wearing a shirt until Gabe came in and whistled then winked, "Damn baby brother, didn't know Dean could give you back your wings?"

I made a face at Gabe, "What are you talking about brother?"

Gabe laughed, "The scratches on your back. Obviously from Dean, human's sometimes call them wings."

Dean blushed and went back to cooking us cheeseburgers, "Shut up Gabe"

Gabe smirked, "It's okay Dean, Sammy gives me wings too"

Sam choked as he entered the room, "Gabe!"

Gabe laughed and smiled at Sam, "Yes Sammy?"

Sam blushes deeply and gives Gabe what Sam calls a bitchface before grabbing stuff to make salad for himself. "We don't need to talk about our sex life with our brothers Gabe. Okay I swear I hate you sometimes"

Gabe went over to Sam and kissed him, "No you don't Sammy, now eat a burger like a normal person, or one day your actually going to turn into a Moose and start eating twigs to"

Dean laughs and then looks at Sam, "Your boyfriend's got a point."

Sam groaned, "Shut up Jerk"

Dean rolled his eyes, "Make me Bitch"

I smiled and watched silently as the three of them interacted, it was nice, and despite Dean's protests it was domestic. I looked at Dean's shoulder, just barely visible was the handprint from where I held onto Dean's soul as I pulled it from the depths of Hell. It has been 8 years since I pulled Dean from hell, and we have been through so much together. From fighting the impending Apocalypse to fighting Leviathins and going to Purgatory together. I imagined the idea of getting married to Dean, how he would be very stoic on the outside but a nervous wreck on the inside, because despite everything I know he would worry about the chance of me leaving him. As I watched Dean cooking I imagined whether we would have children somehow, because Dean had always wanted a big family one day, despite his life as a hunter. I knew that there were times he would dream of having kids, of being a dad to at least 2 kids because in his mind it was always better to have siblings.

 _ **5 months later**_

I smiled as I watched Dean pacing in the Library. I have been human for 5 months now, on my birthday 4 months ago Dean proposed to me. Now we were waiting on the call from the Botanical Garden, for them to decide if we could have the small wedding there. We had been denied by 3 separate venues now simply because we were 2 men, despite the laws allowing our marriage. I knew Dean was frustrated, but I just had a feeling that this one would work out. The Botanical Garden's had a butterfly dome, that was my favorite feature. Dean wanted to get married by one of their many ponds but I was fond of the butterflies, and after some arguing and me giving him puppy eyes as he often called them, he gave in and agreed. Suddenly Dean's phone rang, making him jump nearly 2 feet off the ground, I held back the small snicker and watched Dean hurry to grab his phone and answer it, quickly putting it on speaker, "Hello?"

A woman's voice replied, "Hello Mr. Winchester?"

Dean cleared his throat and nodded, "Yes this is he?"

"Hi Mr. Winchester I am calling about your interest in getting married in our butterfly dome?" The woman replied, her voice was nice and chipper so I hoped that she was telling us good news.

Dean took a deep breath before saying, "Yes, did we get the contract?"

"Well Mr. Winchester, after our board discussed things, they have agreed on the terms of the contract that your brother lined up."

Dean stared at the phone with shock, "Really… so.. so that's a yes?"

The woman laughed a little, "Yes sir. You have the butterfly dome booked for 9 am on March 22 2017."

Dean punched the air silently and his tense muscles relaxed a little, "Thank you so much Miss."

The woman laughed, "Your very welcome Mr. Winchester and congratulations"

Dean nodded and then hung up, and spun around and looked at me, and smiled excitedly. "We got it!"

I laughed and got up and hugged him. He laughed and kissed me, wrapping his arms around my waist and then resting his head against mine. I smiled a little, "So now we have 4 months til we can finally get married Dean."

Dean smiled and nodded, and kissing me again. I smiled gently and I heard the door from outside being opened, I smiled and looked up as Sam walked down the stairs with Gabe behind him. Gabe frowned and looked at us, "The hell are you to so excited about…"

I looked at Dean, wanting to give them the good news, and Dean nodded, "The Botanical Gardens called… we got the venue."

Sam's face brightened up, "Oh my God finally! March 22nd this coming year right?"

Dean nodded, "Yep! Finally someplace that will let us fucking get married. I mean serioysly who gives a fuck if we are gay. Oh could you imagine though if they knew I was getting married to a former angel. Oh the uproar"

Sam laughed loudly and rolled his eyes, "I couldn't imagine. Forget people they are all dicks Dean. We should celebrate yeah?"

Dean nodded and then went to the kitchen to get a bottle of alcohol. Since being human I do not very much enjoy alcohol but the Winchesters and Gabe all enjoy it. I got a job 5 months ago and quickly went from cashier to manager. I was apparently very good at the job, so I quickly moved up the ranks, as Dean tells me anyways. The pay is pretty good so it helps out when Dean and Sam cannot afford gas to get back and forth, between hunts. I started to put excess money into a savings account to help pay for the wedding.

 **((Okayyy then! Hope you all are enjoying! Pleaseee follow, favorite and leave a review to let me know what you are thinking!))**


	11. Chapter 11

**Dean's POV**

After coming back from the kitchen I gave Sam and Gabe a glass of bourbon, I noticed how quiet Cas had gotten. It used to worry me but I could tell by the small smile on his face that he was thinking about our life together so far. The past 5 months have been slow as far as hunting goes, Gabe and I have been getting along much better despite him being as annoying as hell, but Sam tends to calm that down in him. Cas and I haven't had to many serious arguments thankfully, but it was also sort of making me nervous because I tended to fuck everything up. I walked over to Cas and wrapped an arm around him, making him break out of his thoughts and he smiled a little, "Are you feeling better Dean?"

I rolled my eyes, "It frustrates me Cas. I mean it's legal now, and who gives a fuck who I fuck in the privacy of my bedroom you know?"

Gabe nodded, "Amen to that."

I laughed at the irony, but looked at Cas who was back in his head again. I gently nudged his side and whispered in his ear, "Hey what's got you in your head so much today?"

Cas shook his head a little, "I don't know Dean. I am going to go take a nap, I have to work tonight"

I nodded and kissed his head then watched him go to our room, Gabe could read Cas' thoughts and he looked at me. "You may want to go talk to him"

I nodded and went after Cas, who was already in bed with the light off. I carefully slipped out of my jeans and slipped into bed with him, wrapping an arm gently around his waist, "Hey… are you okay Cas?"

Cas sighed heavily, but cuddled into me. "Yes Dean I am fine"

I rolled my eyes and ran my hand gently through his hair, "Cas if there is anyone I know how to read really well it's you. C'mon talk to me"

Cas closed his eyes, biting his lip and sort of buried his face in my chest, "I don't know Dean… honestly I was fine, but I just couldn't get out of my head. Plus I need to go to sleep because I have to work tonight and you were happy so I was trying to just let you be happy…"

I sighed a little and hugged him gently, softly stroking his hair. "Okay Cas, close your eyes and go to sleep. I will wake you up at 4 so you can shower and we can get you something to eat okay."

Cas nodded a little bit, and buried his nose further into my chest and started to fall asleep. It wasn't long before his breathing evened out and he fell asleep. After checking the time to see it was about 12:30, I set the alarm for 4 pm so I could make sure Cas would be able to get up in time for his night shift. A couple weeks ago he started managing the night shift, he would work from 7 pm to 5 am. Recently it had put a little strain on our relationship, especially when I had to leave for hunts but we had mostly worked things out. After a few hours the alarm went off and my phone and I nudged Cas awake, despite his grumbling he slowly got up and ran his hands through his hair, "I'm going to go take a shower"

I nodded and kissed his head before getting up, "Alright then, I am going to go make something for you to eat"

Cas nodded, before getting up and going to the bathroom. I faintly heard the shower starting, so I got up to make Cas some dinner and something to eat when he had his break. I had just finished cooking dinner when Cas came in wearing his uniform, and sat down at the table. I set his plate in front of him, and then sat down across from him while he ate, he tilted his head curiously "Dean? Is something wrong?"

I laughed and shook my head, "Nah just thinking about how much I am going to miss you tonight."

Cas rolled his eyes and smiled playfully, then got up and put his plate in the sink. He leaned down and whispered in my ear, "We still have an hour before I need to leave"

I bit my lip and looked up at him, he smirked and nodded, then he took my hand. Cas pulled me back to my room and we had wonderful, quick, sloppy sex before a quick shower to clean each other up and Cas got dressed and left in a hurry. Since the cars in the bunker were all still functioning I had told Cas to pick any car, and he chose the motor cycle, which honestly surprised me but it was his favorite. After Cas had left I made my way back to the kitchen, then called for Sam and Gabe so they could eat the dinner I had made. Last week we had decided that while Cas was on night shift, before he went to work he and I would have dinner by ourselves so we could have time alone. Gabe came in first, with Sam following, "So what's for dinner tonight Dean?"

I rolled my eyes, "Well maybe if you sat down and shut up you'd find out"

Sam laughed a little, "Okay then"

I made up their plates, with spaghetti and bolognaise sauce. Sam and Gabe both started eating, I rolled my eyes and cleaned up everything, putting the leftover's in containers, then in the fridge. Around 9pm I glanced at my phone, only slightly worried because normally Cas would text me when he got to work, but I just figured the gas station had been busy, which occasionally happened. I was almost asleep when I heard Gabe pounding on my door, "Dean! Dean wake up!"

I heard the panic in his voice and got up quickly and opened the door, Gabe's eyes were panicked and I could tell something was wrong. "What? What is it Gabe?"

The hospital in Lebanon just called me… Cas got hit by a car on his way to work." Gabe said hurriedly.

My eyes widened and my stomach felt as if it was in my throat, "W…what?"

Gabe nodded, "We gotta go. They didn't call asap because they were busy trying to get him stable. He is in the ICU in critical condition…"

I felt my chest tighten and part of me wanted to just collapse but I quickly grabbed my jacket and the keys to the impala. By the time I got to the garage Sam was already waiting and he took the keys from me, "You are not driving like this Dean"

I wanted to argue but I knew that right now I was in no condition to drive. My whole body was shaking and I just couldn't calm down. Sam guided me into the backseat and I sat there quietly, I couldn't cry right now because Cas would need me to be strong. The drive to the hospital was a haze, a nurse lead us up to the ICU waiting room and only 2 people could be allowed in at a time, so Sam told Gabriel to go with me. The nurse was talking, warning us on his injuries on how bad he looked but none of it seemed to enter my head. As soon as I walked through that door the dam broke and I let out a sob, I felt my legs give out from under me but then I felt arms catch me and guide me to the chair next to Cas' bed. Cas's face was paler than I had ever seen it, he had road burn on his chest and arms, they were breathing for him and he had so many wires hooked up to him it scared me. The doctor came in and nodded to Gabe then looked at me, "You are his fiancé correct?"

I nodded, I forced myself to actually answer the doctor. "Yes I am."

The doctor nodded and looked over Cas, "I believe my nurse said she told you all this information but you didn't appear to be listening. So I am going to explain this to you, and you can ask anything you need to Mr. Winchester". This time instead of answering I just nodded, the doctor continued, "Castiel was in an accident involving another vehicle, the driver hit Mr. Novak with his car when he was changing lanes, Mr. Novak was forced off his motorbike at a speed of 55 mph, his motorcycle was forced underneath the other car and Mr. Novak was forced onto the road. He broke multiple ribs, and his left arm some of the bones were shattered, his lung collapsed on the way to the hospital. Luckily he was wearing his helmet, and truthfully that may be the one thing that saves his life. His left leg was also severly broken and his spinal cord was partially severed to the impact that he hit the ground."

As soon as the doctor said his spinal cord was partially severed I worried about mobility, "W…will he walk?"

The doctor sighed, "We aren't sure. We won't be able to know until he wakes up, and for now we are keeping him in a medically induced coma to help his body heal. As his condition stabilizes we will do surgery to put plates and wires in his arm and leg. We couldn't do it immeadietly because his condition was so unstable. If you have any more questions Mr. Winchester please don't hesitate to ask them"

I nodded a little, but the moment the doctor said heal I looked at Gabe. Once the doctor was gone Gabe shut the door and went over to Cas, he put his hands on Cas but there was no familiar glow and Gabe's face twisted in anger. "Are you kidding me?"

I looked at Gabe, "What? Why can't you heal him?"

Gabe shook his head, "Dad won't let me fully heal him. All I can do is stabilize his condition…"

I let out a choked sob and closed my eyes tightly. "W…why?"

Gabe shook his head, "Because… Cas is human… and Dad is all about fairness to humans… not many humans have an angel on stanby"

I felt my face twist in confusion, "What about all the times Cas healed us when we got hurt on a hunt?"

Gabe sighed, "You were saving people… Cas just got hurt like a regular human…."

I felt my chest tighten more and I closed my eyes crying. "Then stabilize him"

Gabe nodded and the familiar warm glow radiated from his hands, Cas' vitals went normal and I closed my eyes. Soon the doctors and nurses came in checking over everything before taking him back into surgery. As the doctor left he mumbled, "That's a miracle"

I laughed bitterly, it should have been more of a miracle but Gabe wasn't being allowed to heal Cas completely.

 **((Wellllll then. Cas is in the hospital and Gabe can't fix it all this time. So if you are interested in reading more, please Follow, Favorite, and Leave a review to let me know what you are thinking))**


	12. Chapter 12

**Cas' POV**

I relaxed as the music from my headphones went through my ears, I was halfway to work now and things were calm. It was a clear night out, and the road wasn't to busy. I looked over as I got closer to the car next to me and noticed they were starting to come into my lane, I slowed down but the person next to me did to, and before I realized it my bike was under the car and I was on the road. Searing pain went through my chest and arms, I heard myself scream as my left leg was crushed, I tried to stop my falling with my arm but it yielded under my weight and I screamed more. My helmet bounced off the pavement giving me whiplash and my head bounced against the front visor. My chest felt as if someone was sitting on it and I couldn't get in a breath, the pain all over my body was blinding and everything went black. For a moment I wondered if I was dead, but I started hearing voices, trying to get my attention, they were so loud and part of me wanted to ignore them but the part of me that knew if I ignored them I may not make it made me fight. I blearily opened my eyes and everything was blurry, but there was a face in front of mine and the person was talking but I couldn't make out what they were saying over the pounding in my ears. Finally a few words got through my head, "What's your name?"

I swallowed the moisture in my mouth, and by the irony taste I knew it was blood but I brokenly whispered, "C…cas….castiel"

The figure in front of my face nodded, and smiled a little, "Nice to meet you Castiel, my names Jonah. Try to stay awake for me okay, but don't talk to much. I need to check you over, blink once for yes, blink twice for no. Okay can you try it now to help me make sure you can hear me okay?"

I forced myself to blink once, the man nodded and started check over me, the pain was starting to get to much and I started to close my eyes. Jonah's voice tried to bring me back into consciousness but I was to tired. When I woke up again I was in the ambulance with Jonah next to me keeping an eye on the screen, he noticed movement and looked up at my face and smiled a little, "Well hey there Castiel." Suddenly my thoughts went to Dean and I tried to sit up, looking for my phone so I could call Dean but Jonah stopped me and quieted me, "Hey hey take it easy there cowboy. You were in a car accident remember? Your body is pretty beaten up so I need you to stay still Castiel."

I whimpered painfully, "D…deann"

Before Jonah could ask me anything else the darkness fell over me again. When I woke up again the light in the room was blinding and I closed my eyes tightly, my whole body hurt, especially my chest. I heard Dean's voice, "Yeah… Yeah he is still asleep. The doc said once the medicine keeping him in the coma is gone, some people it takes days for them to wake up… No. Yeah it's fine Sam. No you don't need to be here to watch him sleep. Okay yes I know you meant to be there for me but I'm fine… Shut up, yes I know I'm not actually fine but until Cas wakes up I am not leaving his side Sam. Yeah. Okay bye Sam. Yeah. Yeah I know Sam. Bye"

I fought to wake up but the pain and darkness was to much. This time when I woke up it was dark, I opened my eyes slowly. Everything was kinda blurry, and not quite in focus but I could make out Dean's head laying on his arms as they rested on my bed. I couldn't tell how long I had been out, but I slowly forced my hand to move and gently laid it on Dean's head. The weight on Dean's head caused him to stir and he lifted his head knocking my hand off to his neck, when Dean's eyes connected with mine his whole body sagged with relief and he let out a huge breath as if this entire time he had been holding his breath. "Oh my god Cas. Oh thank fuck Cas"

I wanted to say something but my throat was dry and my tongue felt wrong in my mouth, my eyes widened fearfully and Dean took my hand and rubbed his thumb over it soothingly, "Shhh it's okay Cas. You're gunna be okay now. I need to go get your doctor okay. I'll be right back I promise." Before I could argue Dean had let go of my hand, panic filled my chest and I was so confused. The last thing I really remembered was driving to work, the light got switched on and I let out a whimper and closed my eyes against the blinding light. I felt Dean's warm hands wrap around my hand and in a soft voice he said, "Shh, I've got you Cas. Your doctor need to check over you okay, can you open your eyes for me"

I slowly opened my eyes, the light was not quite so bright this time and a woman came over and smiled soflty, "Well good afternoon Mr. Novak, it's very good to see you awake. Your fiancé Dean here has been very worried about you. Now I need to shine a light in your eyes, its going to be bright but I need you to keep your eyes open and follow the light just with your eyes okay?"

I nodded a little, and she did as she said. When the light shone in my eyes my first instinct was to close them but I was able to stop myself, and did as she asked. Right now I realized I felt very numb and she told me they had just given me pain meds a half an hour ago so I shouldn't be in pain. When she was nearly done she poked my toes with a needle but I couldn't feel it, I started to panic and the doctor was about to give me more medicine when Dean took my hand and made me looked at him, "Hey, hey hey. It's okay babe. It's okay, it'll be fine Cas I promise."

The doctor had a small smile on her face, before she started to check my whole leg. I didn't feel anything until she was all the way up to my hip, I started panicking again but again, Dean was able to soothe me and calm me down. He looked at the doctor, "S…so does this mean he is paralyzed?"

The doctor sighed a little, "Maybe, his body is still recovering. And his spinal cord was partially severed so it may be possible for the nerves to grow back but it will require a lot of intensive physical therapy and it would take months."

I listened as she spoke, but things felt so very muddled up in my brain, the only thing that was making sense was the part about me not feeling my legs. Dean gave me some ice chips to suck on to help my dry throat, and part of me wanted to ask how long it had been but my tongue still felt wrong in my mouth. Dean gently stroked my hair, before he leaned down ad kissed my head, "It's been 2 weeks since your accident. Do you remember your accident?" I shook my head a little. 2 weeks, I had been here for 2 weeks. I tried to remember but nothing was coming to me and Dean shushed me as I was apparently whining. "Shhh hey, it's okay Cas. Don't force yourself okay. I'm just glad your awake now. Speaking of which I gotta text Sam." He pulled out his phone and texted Sam that I was awake. I yawned loudly and started to fall back asleep. Before I knew it the darkness washed over me again and I was out cold.


	13. Chapter 13

**Dean's POV**

I watched Cas as he fell back into unconsciousness and the ache in my chest relaxed some. Cas was alive, and he had finally woken up. I was still undeniably worried because he had no feeling in his legs but right now all I could find myself caring about was the fact that he had finally woke up. I was so focused on Cas that I nearly missed my phone ringing but I finally heard it an saw Sam's name on the caller ID and answered it. "Hey Sammy"

Sam sighed a little at the nickname but refocused, "So Cas is awake? How is he?"

I sighed and ran my hands through my hair, "Well he just fell back asleep, I think the Doc wore him out. But he was pretty confused, and he couldn't seem to talk. He had no feeling in his legs…."

Sam sighed heavily, "How are you doing with that?"

I shook my head, "I don't care honestly. I am just happy he woke up. The only thing that is scaring me is that he couldn't seem to talk."

I could practically hear the puppy eyes I'm sure Sam was now making, "Well even if he had his helmet on there could have been some brain damage. Plus they took him out of the coma what a week ago? Or maybe it's just temporary Dean. His brain needs time to catch up."

I closed my eyes and shook my head, taking a large deep breath before nodding, "Yeah I know… Anyways sorry to wake you."

Sam laughed, "Wasn't sleeping"

I groaned and covered my eyes, "Dude didn't need to know. When you come in the morning bring me some food and coffee, Bitch"

Sam laughed, "Yeah alright Jerk."

I smiled a little and then hung up. I watched Cas sleep for an hour before I relaxed back into the chair and fell asleep. I was awakened all to soon by whimpering and a woman's voice, "Shhh it's okay Mr. Novak you're okay"

I opened my eyes to see Cas trying to move away from the nurse, Juliet, who was trying to give Cas medicine. I got up and took Cas' hand, making his eyes shift to me and I could see how confused and scared he was so I soothed him, "Hey you're okay Cas. I've got you. Do you know where you are?"

Cas opened his mouth to reply but nothing came out, so he shook his head. I stroked a hand through his hair keeping him calm and focused on me so the nurse could change his IV bag. "You're in a hospital babe, you were in a really bad accident" Recognition went through his face as the events seemed to play through his head. He nodded and again tried to say something but nothing would come out. The panic marred his features and I took his hand tightly, "Shh it's okay love. We'll figure it all out I promise.

Soon Juliet was finished and she looked at Cas, "Can you talk Mr. Novak?"

Finally a response came, his voice sounded even worse than usual and it was quiet but he said, "I think so"

Juliet nodded, "Your brain is still catching up. Don't try to force it okay. I'll get some ice chips, I'm sure your mouth is very dry."

Cas nodded a little as she left, then looked at me, "D…Dean"

I stroked his hair gently, "I'm right here Cas. It's okay you can relax."

He relaxed against the bed, and his eyes shut but I could tell by his breathing he was still awake, so he was just processing everything. The last 2 weeks since Cas' accident have been absolute hell, after the surgery Cas' condition had gotten worse and he had gotten an infection but they had finally stabilized his condition enough that they were able to remove the medicine keeping him in the coma. He hadn't woken up for 7 days, the doctors told us that sometimes after a trauma like Cas had suffered the body took a while to wake up, and now that the medicine was gone it was up to Cas. I was starting to worry he may not wake up but last night when I felt his hand on my head I was so relieved. Our little bubble was broken when Sam knocked on the door and came in, "Morning Dean."

Cas's eyes fluttered open and he looked at Sam, I could see his mind was working through the haze of the medicine and after a few seconds he spoke, "Sam"

Sam looked over at Cas and smiled, "Hey Cas, it's really good to see you awake. How are you feeling?"

The response died in his throat, and I could see the frustration in his face so I took his hand, "Don't force it Cas."

Cas huffed in response before closing his eyes again, going back into his head to process everything. I got up and kissed his head before taking the bag of food and cup of coffee from Sam, who looked worried, "Is he okay?"

I looked at him, and this time his breathing had started to even out, indicating he had fallen asleep, before I sighed, "Frankly I don't know. He is struggling with talking, when he woke up this morning he was so confused and scared… I hate this so much Sam… and I really wish Chuck would just let Gabe heal Cas…"

Sam nodded and watched me as I ate, "You should go back to the bunker and get a few hours rest and a hot shower. I'll stay here okay?"

I wanted desperately to argue that I needed to be here with Cas but at the same time I was sore all over from sleeping in the terrible arm chair, and a hot shower sounded great. Reluctantly I nodded, "Yeah okay… call me if he wakes up again?"

Sam nodded and then handed me the keys to the impala. The drive back to the bunker was a bit of a blur but once I got inside I ignored Gabe and Kevin and went straight for the shower. As the hot water cascaded over my body I felt my tight muscles start to relax. Once I was dry I slipped my boxers and a fresh t-shirt on from my drawer and I faceplanted into my bed, quickly slipping into the darkness of sleep.

 **((Sooo Cas is awake, sorta. I hope you are all enjoying this story. I have no clue where it's going I am just sort of writing wherever my brain takes me. Please Follow, Favorite, and Leave a Review!))**


	14. Chapter 14

**Sam's POV**

I watched as Dean grabbed the keys to the impala and left the room, he needed proper sleep and a hot shower. Now that Cas had woken up I was happy it was relatively easy to get him to go back to the bunker for rest and a shower. Not long after Dean would have arrived at the bunker Gabe appeared with a flutter of wings, lately Gabe had been using his powers more and more, the insecure side of me told me he may leave me, but the better part of me knew better. I smiled a little at Gabe, "He get home safe?"

Gabe nodded then looked at Cas, "Yeah, I am surprised he was able to drive home though, he looked dead on his feet."

I nodded and got up to hug Gabe, "Now that Cas woke up he doesn't have to stress as much and so it is finally catching up to him."

Gabe hugged me close, his old vessel was quite a bit shorter than me but this vessel was practically the same height and it was nice that I could rest my head on his shoulder. Gabe rubbed my back gently, "Speaking of Cas waking up… you didn't really tell me everything?"

I sighed and ran a hand through my longish hair, I knew Gabe would be angry at himself for not being able to heal Cas even though it wasn't his fault. "Well apparently his state of confusion was worse this morning, although I am willing to bet it was because he had woken up to someone else touching him. Apparently Juliette was trying to switch his IV's and he was panicking. I have no idea why his speech is so limited right now though, when I got here he remembered my name, but his voice sounded terrible. When I tried to ask him how he was feeling he was panicking until Dean calmed him down... He didn't respond to any stimulus to his legs, all the way until his hips…"

Gabe's breathing halted, and I would have been worried if he was human but his grace would take over. I knew the thought's going through Gabriel's head because he had discussed it over and over again the last two weeks. Finally Gabe shook his head, "I've had it. I am going to go to heaven and talk to Dad. Cas was one of his favorites!"

A voice behind us made us both jump, "I believe you wished to speak with me"

I turned around to see Chuck the prophet standing there, in jean's and a t-shirt. Part of me wanted to laugh but there was an intimidating aura about him that made me keep my mouth shout, Gabe however was unaffected and snapped at Chuck, "Why won't you let me help him"

Chuck looked around and after making sure the door was shut, I felt a wave of energy pules through me, Chuck explained, "I put a sound barrier up." I nodded a little before looking at Gabe, who was clearly pissed off, I took Gabe's hand hoping to help calm him just a bit. "I have already informed you why my son"

Gabriel shook his head, "No that bullshit isn't good enough. Castiel is suffering,"

Suddenly Chuck raised his voice, "And what makes Castiel so special?"

Gabriel and I both balked, but Gabe spoke, "Are you kidding? Cas was an angel?"

Chuck laughed and put his face in his hands, "Was an angel. Now he is human. Simply a human Gabriel."

Gabe laughed bitterly and rolled his eyes biting his lips, clenching his fists. "Cas deserves more than this father. The recovery will take many months and maybe years…"

Chuck sighed heavily, "Again, he is a human son. This is a situation many humans have been in. Just because Castiel is a former angel he has no bearing on the supernatural world and therefore he gets no angelic interference" I could see an idea pop into Gabe's head and he glanced at Cas, a smirk ghosted his lips before a sharp voice stopped it, "Absolutely not Gabriel."

I couldn't stop myself from looking at Gabe and asking, "What?"

Gabe sighed and closed his eyes, "Cas is a former angel. If I used enough of my grace I could restore him."

Chuck laughed harshly, "Tell your human the consequences…"

Gabe bit his lip and his body posture made my chest tighten. I didn't need to hear the words but he spoke them anyway, "It would burn out my grace… and I would die."

I shook my head, "No. Hell no Gabe are you insane! I just got you back and your willing to leave me!"

Gabe's arms tightened around me and he held me close, "Sammy I don't want to leave you but I can't see my little brother suffering so much. "

I fought out of his arms and shook my head, "Hell no Even Dean wouldn't agree to this Gabriel! I was a mess after you died and you promised me you would be with me til I died!"

The use of Gabe's full name from my mouth seemed to sober him a little, but something was still in his head. Before I could say anything Chuck spoke up, "If you even attempt it I will lock you inside your vessel Gabriel"

That idea seemed to strike fear into Gabe's very core, I was confused as hell but said nothing this time. Suddenly there was a grunt and a groan behind us all and we all looked to see Cas waking up again, Chuck suddenly disappeared and the feeling of the sound barrier disappearing was a little odd but I ignored it. Gabe went to Cas' side and softly touched his forehead, easing him back to sleep, then he sighed and flopped down into the chair. I gently sat in the chair next to him and took his hand, "Wanna tell me why you looked like you were scared to death when Chuck threatened to lock you inside your veseel?"

Gabe closed his eyes, his whole body was tense so I reached out and gently rubbed my hand over his knee, soothing him and giving him comfort as best I could. For angel's, being locked inside our vessel's is the equivilant of death. By all accounts we are human…. But our forms are forced to compress inside the veseel, we cannot fly, heal anything. I have heard stories of angels killing themselves just after 5 minutes being locked inside their vessels. It is unberable pain and pressure on the body and the mind."

He shuddered gently, and by the way he talked I could tell he wasn't just talking from stories but right now he looked scared, and that was an expression I didn't see often on Gabe's face. "Go back home Gabe. Watch some move or TV and go back home."

He looks at me warily, sitting her was not something Gabriel liked doing because he couldn't fix Cas and I knew it was driving Gabe nuts. He gave me a quick kiss before disappearing with a flutter of wings. I sighed and then watched Cas as he slept for the next 8 hours, I had started to drift off when the sound of the door opening alerted me and Dean stood there looking refreshed, "Hey Sammy. Any change?"

I shake my head, "Not really… I'm sorry Dean I wish I had better news."

Dean shook his head before smiling a little at Cas and sitting down in the chair that had been deemed Dean's chair, "Not your fault Sammy. Go home you look like you have a lot on your mind. I will text you if anything major happens…"

I nodded, slowly getting up and leaving the room, I paused in the doorway and watched Dean softly stroking his thumb over the back of Cas' hand and his other hand went up to stroke Cas' hair. Cas had been wonderful for Dean, he still shut down sometimes but if anyone was able to bring out the soft side in Dean it was Cas. The next few months were going to be so hard for both of them but after all they had been through, there was no one I believed in more than Dean and Castiel.

 **((Snappy Gabe, being protective over his little brother. Sappy ending to this chapter I know but I liked it. Please Follow Favorite and leave a review!))**


	15. Chapter 15

**Cas' POV**

As I started to wake up I noticed that again the room was dark, Dean was sitting beside me with his feet resting on the edge of my bed and he was flicking through channels. I smiled a little as he settled on a Dr. Sexy marathon. It took Dean a few minutes to realize that I was awake, and when he did his feet fell off the bed and he scooted the chair closer to me, gently taking my hand, "Hey Cas"

I nodded, and despite the scratch feeling in my throat I replied, "Hello Dean."

Dean's body sagged a little with relief when I spoke, and I felt less frustrated. I remember the struggle to find words last time but this time I feel somewhat better. "It's so good to see those gorgeous eyes open Cas"

I felt my cheeks heat up as I blushed, making Dean smile. I nodded a little, "I..it is good to be awake… a..although I am still slightly…c..c…confused"

I noticed my speech was slower than normal, as did Dean, but he seemed to just be happy I was talking. "Do you remember that you were in an accident?" I nodded and Dean continued, "You have been out for 2 weeks… You had some pretty bad road burn on your chest and mostly to your left side, your leg was broken pretty bad, and so was your wrist, actually some of the bones in your wrist were shattered… somehow your spinal cord was partially severed.. its why you can't feel your legs… Your ribs were broken and a lung collapsed on the way to the hospital… they did surgery to fix your lung and stuff, but your condition got to unstable so they put you in a medically induced coma until your condition stabilized and they could go in and fix your leg and your arm. Gabe tried to heal you but…. Chuck wouldn't let him completely heal you… he'd just allow him to stabilize your condition"

I nodded a little, "I am human now"

Dean's eyes flared angrily, "But you weren't! You were an angel, one of his angel's Cas. He created you! He should care more!"

I sighed a little, I should have known Dean would be angry, it was very typical of Dean. "He does c…care Dean. J..just because I… I was a..an angel d..doesn't m..mean I deserve s..special treatment. I.. I was injured i..in a human manner…" Talking was getting harder as I kept up but I forced myself to continue. "I… I am j..just a human D..dean."

Dean shook his head, "Why do you have to talk about us human's like we are so much worse than angels."

I bit my lip, I was in no mood for this argument but I knew Dean, and he was stressed out so he liked to lash out. My body was starting to ache again, and my head hurting worse as I continued to talk. "D…do w…we have t..to do t..this right now Dean?"

Dean sighed and ran his hands through his hair, a habit he had when he was to stressed out, it was something both the Winchester's did. He looked at me and nodded, "I'm sorry Cas… these last few weeks have been hell and I am just frustrated. I'm sorry babe. Ignore my frustration.. are you feeling okay or do you need more pain meds?"

I wanted to ignore the pain but it was distracting me more than anything so I nodded, "M..more pain med's please…"

Dean nodded and hit the button to call the nurse, telling her I needed pain meds. The nurse from this morning came in, she smiled softly, "Hello Mr. Novak… Can you rate your pain on a scale of 1-10, 1 being no pain and 10 being the worst pain you've ever felt."

I bit my lip before forcing out "B..between a 7 and an 8"

The nurse nodded gently, "Okay I will up your morphine and bring in some medicine for the nausea."

I nodded shortly before closing my eyes to focus away from the pain. Dean's thumb was rubbing softly over the back of my hand, and the sensation was helping me focus. The nurse came back in after a few minutes, giving me some pills to take before she upped my morphine. I started to relax as the pain meds coursed through my system easing the pain, but they also made my body feel heavy. Similar to the effect alcohol had on me, and it made me uncomfortable but I wanted to talk to Dean more. "You know I don't think less of h..humans Dean"

Dean sighs and rubs his hand over mine, "I know Cas. Don't worry about it. Why don't you just relax and watch TV okay. I wanna go talk to the doc?"

I nodded and turned my attention the small TV in the corner of the room, I suddenly realized I wasn't hungry and that's when the small tube in my nostril caught my attention. I hadn't even realized it was there until now. It had probably been in since I was in the coma, too keep me nourished while I was asleep and could not be fed. I lifted my hand to touch it curiously, it moved a little but was mostly secure, I shrugged then went back to watching television. It was an hour before Dean came back carrying a bag off food for himself, I smiled at him as he came in, "Hello Dean"

Dean nodded, "Hey babe. Sorry I was hungry so I left to get a snack. I would have texted you but your phone had been crushed. Which is why I remember we got you a replacement for when you woke up. So here is your phone."

Dean handed me the new phone, it was essentially the same but there was a picture of Dean as my screensaver and I smiled a little, "Thank you Dean."

Dean nodded and sat down next to me, "You can thank Sam for that actually. He went and got the phone, and took the picture of me. Asshole, anyways he transferred all your stuff over to that phone so you should have everything."

I nodded, but put the phone on the small table not really interested in it. Dean and I watched TV for a few hours, just relaxing in silence before I started to fall asleep again. I tried to fight it but Dean chuckled a little and got up, kissed my forehead pulling the small blanket up to my neck and whispering softly, "It's okay Cas. Get some rest okay,"

I relaxed this time and let the darkness overtake me. Falling into a deep sleep rather quickly, At first my dreams were pleasant and comforting, but suddenly the crash came to the forefront of my mind. I relieved everything is slow motion, just as I hit the pavement this time I woke up, sitting up roughly and I felt the tugging of stitches and tubes. I felt so confused and looked around, Dean was standing next to me trying to calm me down, but it's like I couldn't hear him over the blood rushing in my ears. I saw nurses come in and the forced me to lay back down and I couldn't stop myself from fighting, all I could feel was overwhelming and almost crushing fear and the need to escape. I vaguely heard someone telling me they were giving me a sedative but nothing was making sense.

 **((So I don't know if this is any good but I hope you are all njoying it. Please Follow Favorite and Leave a Review!))**


	16. Chapter 16

**Dean's POV**

I watched with wide eyes as the nurses tried to settle Cas down. I could tell he had no idea where he was or what was going on, he fought like hell as the nurses tried to pin him down and then finally a nurse was able to give him a sedative. I tried to ask something but then I saw the blood, he had torn some of his stitches, so they called an OR so they could repair them. I tried over and over to ask what was going on but they weren't sure either. It had seemed like he had been having a nightmare before he had suddenly sat up screaming. After they took Cas, his doctor came in, she wasn't a surgeon so she wasn't needed. She smiled a little warmly at me, "HI Dean. Has anyone talked to you?"

I shook my head, I could feel myself shaking, and I was trying not to panic. "No… They were busy trying to calm him down.. I don't understand…"

The doctor nodded, "From what I am hearing it sounds like he had a flashback, maybe of the accident. Then when the nurses tried to make him lay down his fight or flight kicked in, and it seems like he wanted to get away, at least that's what my nurses said. No that he has woken up, his brain is remembering the accident and it was a traumatic experience. Right now it's post-traumatic response. In his panic he opened up some of his stitches and tore out a couple of the staples, they are fixing that issue now, we are going to give him some medicine to help with the night terrors, we don't want him to have another episode like tonight. Do you want to call your brother to be here with you?"

I closed my eyes, running my hands through my hair. "I… I will call him. Thank you Doc"

She nodded softly and once she left I dialed Sam's number, after 3 rings Sam picked up, "Dean it's 3 am."

I looked at the clock on my phone, and I felt bad but I had promised Sam I would let him know what was going on. "Sorry Sammy… Just… Cas had a… nightmare or night terror I don't know but uh… He tore a bunch of his stitches and a couple of his staples out…"

I could hear the rustling of bed sheets, and Sam's voice was suddenly clear, "Is he okay?"

I closed my eyes, "I don't know honestly… it was scary looking… I mean I could see that he was having a nightmare at first, but then all of a sudden he sat straight up screaming, I couldn't tell if it was pain or fear, I tried to talk to him and calm him down but I don't think he could hear me… a couple nurses came in and tried to calm him down and lay him down. He freaked out though, he was trying to get away from them…"

Sam sighed heavily, "Do you need me to come up there?"

I thought about it for a moment before replying, "No he is still in surgery. Like you said it's 3 am you can go back to sleep and just come out here in the morning"

Sam sighed a little, "Alright Dean. I'll be out when I wake up okay?"

I nodded a little, "Yeah sound's good Sam"

I hung up and sat in the chair by the window in the room, after a half an hour they brought Cas back in the room. He was still out and the nurse came over, "We gave him a heavy sedative so he will probably be asleep for a few hours."

I nodded, "Thank you."

She nodded and then left. I softly got up and moved to the seat next to Cas, and gently stroked my hand over his hand. Hoping that I could convey to him that he was okay. After 4 hours Cas started to wake up, he whimpered a little bit sleepily, I could see he was confused as he fought through the haze of the sedative. I softly stood up and gently took his hand, "Hey easy Cas."

Cas groaned gently and looked around hazily. I could see was utterly confused but he was still to confused to talk. Finally after a few minutes he softly said "Dean…"

I nodded a bit and smiled softly, "Hey you. You feeling okay?"

I could practically see Cas' brain work as he tried to remember what was going on. Soon he nodded a little, "My brain… feels thick."

Nodding softly, I sat on the edge of his bed, "They had to give you a sedative… you had a nightmare"

Cas looked at me, as he processed what I said before he nodded a little, "The car accident"

I gently took his hand to comfort him and nodded, "Yeah we thought that maybe that was it… The doc is going to give you some medicine before you go to bed so that you don't have another one. You tore some of your stitches"

Cas nodded a little then started watching the TV.

 _ **2 months later**_

It's been 2 and a half months since Cas' accident, he came back to the bunker 1 week ago. It's been a hard process because he has been confined to a wheelchair, the access to the garage had no stairs to get into the bunker, but to go from the garage to my room was not so easy there were some steps in between but we were able to help. At the moment he was sleeping, he had just gotten home from physical therapy an hour ago, and he was exhausted so he had laid down and fallen asleep. Since getting home his mood had been okay but recently he was starting to pull away from all of us. I slowly got up to make dinner for myself and Cas, Sam had taken Gabriel with him on a hunt so for now it was just Cas and I. After 2 hours Cas woke up and made his way into the kitchen, I smiled at him, "Hey Cas? You feeling better"

He shrugged a little, "Yeah I guess… just very exhausted…"

I nodded, "Yeah I know. So I made some lasagna, do you want some?"

Cas nodded, "Yes thank you Dean"

I smiled, today seemed to be a good day so I made up his plate. Carefully putting his plate in front of him I got him a glass of water and his meds to take for the night then put them in front of him. He stared at them hesitantly before taking them and then started eating, halfway through his dinner he stopped eating. "I am sorry for how I have been acting Dean"

I looked at him concerned, "It's okay Cas, you have been through a lot. None of us are angry, we have all just been worried"

He chews on his lip softly, "Can we go outside…"

I smiled a little and nodded, "Of course Cas," I get up and help him to the garage over the few steps. Then opened the garage door and helped him onto the pathway that had been made by our cars, he slowly wheeled along the pathway, I could tell he was thinking about something but he wasn't ready to talk yet, so I just walked silently next to him.

Suddenly he blurted out, "Are you no longer sexually attracted to me?"

I stopped and looked at him, "Why would you think that Cas?"

He refused to look up at me so I kneeled down in front of him, carefully taking his hands, making him look at me. "W..we haven't had sex since b..before my accident…"

I sighed and cup his cheek, carefully kissing him, "Oh babe, I didn't want to push you into anything. I love you and just because you can't walk doesn't make you any less sexy to me okay. I promise"

Cas bit his lip hesitantly, I softly kissed him again, I felt bad for making Cas feel so low about himself. "I just… thought maybe you didn't want me"

I kissed him deeply and smiled a bit, "Oh babe nothing will ever make me not want you. I still want to get married to you Cas, honestly I can't wait. I told you I'd love you forever, and I meant that no matter what."

The past 2 months we haven't been very intimate because I thought he wouldn't be ready, but I should have talked to him. I noticed his cock was hard and straining against his jeans, so I gently rubbed his hard on through his pants, pulling out a moan and a slight whimper of pleasure from him. "I… I want you t..to fuck me Dean"

I nodded, "Anything you want Cas."

We turned around and went back inside through the garage. I helped him to our room, then out of his wheelchair carefully cradling him and laying him on the bed. I smiled and gently climbed on top of him and slowly kissed him, carefully cupping his cheek. Softly grinding down into his crotch making him gasp and moan out in pleasure, "Mmm D..Dean"

I reached down and unbuttoned his pants and pulled them off, I could see the embarrassment in his eyes, his left leg was scarred and he had lost muscle mass on his legs. Even though he couldn't feel it I kissed down his left leg, then up his right leg , and licked gently at his hard cock. He shivered and gasped in pleasure, "Feel okay babe?"

He nodded quickly, "Y..yes Dean i..it feels s..so good." I smiled and reached over him into my drawer to get the lube, squirting some on my fingers and rubbed at his hole, he gasped a little. I slowly pushed a finger in and rubbed his cock as I stretched his hole open. By the time I was at 3 fingers he was whimpering and writhing in pleasure, "D…Dean fuck me already please"

I nodded and opened up his legs, slotting myself between his legs. Positioning my cock at his hole, I slowly pushed inside him, he hissed at the burn and closed his eyes. After bottoming out I stopped, waiting for him to adjust, once he nodded I started thrusting in and out of him. Cas was moaning loudly and wrapped his arms around me, his nails digging into my back as I started to go faster. I had positioned myself so I was hitting his prostate on every single thrust. "D..Dean close"

I nodded and reached down and grabbed his cock in my hand rubbing it quickly as I kept fucking him, he cried out suddenly and cam in long white spurts, his ass spasming around my cock throwing me over the edge and my cock twitched as I cam hard inside of him. I collapsed ontop of him panting hard, Cas was shaking and panting beneath me. I slowly pulled myself out of him and laid down next to him, carefully pulling him close to me. "I love you Cas"

Cas smiled sleepily, "I love you to Dean…"

I stroked my hand through his hair, watching as he started to fall asleep, but then he spoke up, "Dean"

I looked down at him, "Yeah babe?"

He bit his lip, "Are you sure you still want to marry me… I haven't gotten any more feeling in my legs…"

I smiled softly and kissed his head, "I don't care that your paralyzed babe. I want to be with you forever and I want to be able to call you my husband. Tomorrow we should check with our wedding planner and see if we need to do anything okay?"

Cas nodded a little, "Okay…"

I softly stroked his hair and watched him as he started to fall asleep again. It didn't take to long for his breathing to even out and I smiled a little. I watched him sleep for an hour before I started to fall asleep myself.

 **((OKay, so really long chapter so hope you all enjoy. Please follow, favorite, and leave me a review to let me know what you guys think))**


	17. Chapter 17

**Sam's POV**

Gabe and I had finished the hunt yesterday, but we both needed some time to ourselves. We had been helping Dean with Cas a lot and it was frustrating Gabe that he couldn't do anything so I wanted to help him relax. Now we were in New York City because Gabe liked Central Park, so we were walking around Central Park holding hands. I could see the tension releasing from Gabe's shoulder as he relaxed, "We should get married here" Gabe said. His eyes were looking around, and I wasn't sure if he had meant to say it out loud.

I nodded a little though, "It is beautiful, I wouldn't mind it."

Gabe looked at me, "I… Did I say that out loud?"

I laughed a little and nodded, "Yeah you did Gabe."

He blushed and rubbed the back of his neck, "That is not how I wanted to do that…"

I smiled and kissed him softly, "It's okay Gabe. I think getting married here would be nice though"

Suddenly out of nowhere there was a shout, "Get a room Faggots!"

I tensed up a little, and Gabe was about to say something but I grabbed his hand, "No Gabe, ignore it. They don't matter alright"

He narrowed his eyes at the person who had yelled at us and his hand tilted to far making his hot coffee spilt all over his face, Gabe smirked a little then kept walking. I rolled my eyes at him, he smiled at me, "What asshole deserved it"

I smiled and rolled my eyes again, "Your such a child sometimes Gabe"

Gabe smiled at me, "Yeah well I am not dealing with homophobes so I was just teaching him a lesson in karma"

I laughed a little and kept walking with him around the park, "I want some coffee babe"

Gabe nodded and kissed me again, "Alright then, I think there is a coffee kart over this way"

We went over to the coffee kart, ignoring the dirty looks from the lady who was making our coffee, then continued to walk around. After finishing our coffee I was exhausted and ready to go back home so Gabe flew us back. I noticed it was quiet so I texted Dean to let him know we were home, it was 8 am so Cas was usually awake by now. Dean texted me back quickly,

 **In my room. Cas is still sleeping, finally got him to talk a bit and figured out what was wrong, I think anyways. Hunt go okay?**

I smiled a little and replied.

Yeah _hunt was good, no issues. Let me know if you two need anything._

Dean didn't respond so I just went into my room with Gabe, laying down to watch Netflix. I felt myself starting to fall asleep, when I felt Gabe unbuttoning my pants. I groaned a little sleepily, "Gabe…"

He pressed his lips to mine, "Shhh let me take care of you"

I bit my lip and watched Gabe as he slowly pulled my pants and my boxers off. He moves my shirt up and licks inside my navel making me moan a little and arch up into him a little. His tongue moves down to my cock, going from the base to the tip, his tongue swirling gently around the head making me moan loudly. I closed my eyes tightly as he takes my whole length in his mouth, and swallows around my cock. I moan out and fight the urge to thrust up into his mouth as he starts going up and down. Gabe knows just how to make me cum hard and fast, so it doesn't take long for me to see stars and cum down his throat. He lapped gently at my cock until I was to sensitive and he pulled my boxers up gently and kissed me softly, I was tired and felt looser and quickly fell asleep for a nap.

I woke up a couple hours later, I was clinging to Gabe in my sleep and I blushed, pulling away. Gabe was watching something on my Netflix until I moved and he looked down at me and smiled, "Well look who is finally awake"

I narrowed my eyes at Gabe sleepily, "How long have I been asleep?"

Gabe check the clock, "Hmm 4 hours. You were pretty exhausted Mossey"

I roll my eyes and stretched my sleepy sore limbs, "Did Dean text me back?"

Gabe shook his head, "No but he did come knock on the door to talk to us." When he realized you were sleeping he said he wanted to talk to us later"

I groaned a bit, "Ok… we should go see whats up then?"

Gabe nodded, and I got up and was about to leave when I remembered I only had my boxers on so I went through my drawers and put a pair of my sweatpants on, when I turned around Gabe was smirking at me and very obviously checking out my ass. I rolled my eyes at him, "Really Gabe?"

He shrugged his shoulders, I smiled then went to go talk to Dean, who was in the library talking to Cas. Cas saw me and Gabe first since he was facing more towards us and nodded, "Good Afternoon Sam"

Dean turned around and smirked, "Awee did Sammy have a good nap"

I narrowed my eyes at Dean and sat across from him, with Gabe sitting down next to me. "Dude shut up"

Dean laughed, "I guess not"

I rolled my eyes at him, "Fuck off"

Dean smiled and then looked at Cas who was fidgeting a little, so he nodded and then looked back at me, "So Cas' compensation money finally came in. While you were sleeping we paid off his bills and stuff, paid for the rest of the wedding stuff and Cas still has 150k."

I widened my eyes, "Seriously? Wow Cas. Looks like your rich"

Cas shrugged and then looked at Dean who gave a slight nod, "I would like to give you half Sam. Since my accident you have continued hunting with my brother, since Dean has stayed here to take care of me… It will help with things you need for hunting.. and food and gas when you need it. You have been helpful to me when Dean was away for whatever reason…"

I was in shock, Cas was offering me 75 thousand dollars, just for doing things here and there for him. "I never did those things for money Cas. I did it because you are practically my brother."

Cas nods softly, "I know Sam. That is the reason I am doing this. I do not need so much money, so I wish to share it with you Sam"

I smile a little and nod, then I get up and bend down to hug him tightly, "Thank you Cas"

He smiles a bit, and I can tell he is happy with himself so I sit back down, "Speaking of wedding stuff Sam. We all need to go for that last fitting, I made the appointment for 3 today, so we should probably leave here soon so we can get there on time?"

I nod a little, "Yeah sure let me go get dressed then. Is it me and you going while Cas and Gabe go to the other place?"

Dean nods, "Yep."

I get up and go get dressed, by the time I am dressed Dean, Cas, and Gabe are already in the impala. We make our way into town and Dean drops Gabe and Cas off at their tailors and then Dean drives to ours. Once there Dean goes up to the girl and smiles, "Dean and Sam Winchester here for our last tux fitting"

The girl is new, and she blushes a little and nods. "Sure uh Mr. Winchester, I uh… I will go let Mr. Light know you are here."

She flashes a smile and twirls her hair before leaving. A few minutes alter Mr. Light comes out and smiles, "Ahh Sam and Dean. Hello Gentleman. Your tuxedos are ready if you will just follow me"

He takes us back and we get into our tux's, Dean talking to me as we do. "Cas was worried I wasn't attracted to him anymore, because of the wheelchair. I thought he needed space you know, he was an emotional wreck sometimes so I didn't think pushing him to have sex was a good idea… apparently I waited to long and he thought I didn't want to have sex with him at all anymore… that maybe I didn't want to marry him"

I sighed, "I tried to tell you, you were going to need to make sure you told him stuff like that dude. After a trauma like the accident Cas was in, peoples self-confidence drop"

I heard him sigh, "I thought I was… I guess I was tell him the wrong stuff I don't know… Last night was better though… we talked about it and… well anyways… I think he feels better but I could tell by the look in his eyes he was still worried I'd leave him."

I nodded even though he couldn't see me, "He may always think you are going to leave him Dean. I mean he used to be an angel, and now he is stuck in a wheelchair. Hell even just being human he thought you may leave him"

Dean and I finish at them same time, and he comes out and runs his hands through his hair, "I know I just… wish he could see himself the way I see him you know"

I laugh a little, making Dean's face twist with confusion and a little anger, "Cas told me that one time when he was an angel. He wished he could show you how beautiful your soul was so maybe you'd stop being so hard on yourself"

Dean smirks a little and shakes his head, then looks at himself in the mirror then at me, "I can't believe I am getting married dude…I mean seriously I never imagined I'd get the chance to get married"

I smile at Dean then laugh a little, "I bet you never imagined you would be getting married to a former angel of the lord, who is male"

Dean barked out a laugh and shook his head, "No definitely not. Damn we clean up nice"

 _ **((Okay so it has take me 5ever to write this chapter and I am still not 100% sure about it but here ya go. It is probably really shitty but enjoy anyways. Please Follow, Fav, and Leave a review))**_


	18. Chapter 18

**Cas' POV**

Gabe helped me out of my wheelchair, and with getting dressed, my tux was a a little loose, because I had lost weight since my accident, I bit my lip a little. Gabe looked at me, "It's not to bad Cas, you could have lost more weight"

I sigh a little, and looked down at my hands, "Will they be able to fix it… I mean… I know it doesn't matter I can't move so it won't fall down but…"

Gabe kneeled next to me, "Hey Castiel look at me, just because you are paralyzed doesn't mean it is any less important for your tux to fit right okay. They just gotta take new measurments is all, You are going to look fricking hot in your tux. I bet Dean is going to clean up real nice, I mean seriously Dean in a tuxedo?"

I smiled a little, at Gabe who smiled at me. I took a deep breath, but then I frowned, "How are they going to take measurements if I can't stand."

Gabe nodded, "I'll hold you up. No big deal baby brother."

I looked down again, the lady who does the measurments came in, "Hello, I am Amelia, Mr. Sacks says your tuxedo is a little to big so I need to take new measurments. I will need you standing in order to take proper measurments Mr. Novak"

Gabe helped me so I was standing up, the girl gave me a sympathetic look, a look of pity. I bit my lip, then looked away. Not wanting to see her look of pity, I was tired of seeing those types of looks honestly. Gabe kept holding me, with my help of using my upper body strength but it was starting to give. Gabe looked at the woman, "Can I sit him down for a minute?"

She nods, "Yeah I can do the rest of these measurements with him sitting?"

I bit my lip, "Can we please not talk about me like I am not here?"

Gabe looks at me and frowns, "Sorry Cassie, c'mon let's sit you down."

I nodded and he helped me sit down, I groaned a little, my muscles very sore. "So, you are getting married? Who is the lucky girl?" The young girl asked as she took measurments and made notes.

I laughed a little, "Guy actually. His name is Dean"

She looked up and smiled, "Really? That's awesome congratulations."

I smiled and nodded, "Yeah."

After twenty minutes I was dressed back in my jeans and t-shirt, Gabe helped me into my wheelchair. Once we were finished and made and appointment for one more fitting to make sure the new measurements were right. Gabe texted Dean to let him know we were finished, and we went outside. It was a nice day out so Gabe walked alongside me while I pushed myself. "You are scared Cas"

I sighed a little and ran my hand through my hair stopping and looked at my hands, "I know Dean loves me… I mean I do sort of. It is just… I mean I used to be a fucking angel Gabriel… maybe not as powerful as you but I was still a damn angel. Now I am just a damn human in a damn chair."

Gabe sat down next to me and looked at me, "Cas you are so much more than just a human in a chair, you have a history that no other human could ever imagine except Dean and Sam, and they don't even completely understand. I can only imagine how scary this is for you Cas okay but despite me hatred of Dean, I know how much he loves you Castiel. He doesn't care that you are just a human stuck in a wheelchair, he didn't care if you were an angel, or a human. Or even a paralyzed human, he still wants to marry you. I know you are terrified that one day he is going to decide you aren't worth the trouble but I know how much he loves you. He adores you Cas, I do not believe he could ever stop loving you Cas no matter what. Yeah you two will get in arguments and sometimes you may both say things that you will regret but I know you two are going to be together til you die, I know Dad told you that. Listen Cas I hate that this happened to you and he won't let me fricking heal you. It drives me crazy and frankly it makes me so fricking mad."

I wiped the tears from my eyes and closed my eyes tightly, The sound of the Impala's engine approaching interrupted our conversation. I shakily ran my hands through my hair and was crying a little, I heard the door of the impala opening but I was breathing hard and I realized quickly I was having a panic attack. I felt hands cupping my face and I could faintly hear Dean's voice trying to calm me down. I felt him hugging me tightly whispering in my ear. "Hey, hey c'mon Cas I've got you, you are safe Cas. Breathe slowly, cmon love breath with me. Cas, Cas listen to me… please just listen to me…c'mon babe. You are safe now Cas"

I could feel myself starting to calm down, I still felt like my heart was trying to force it's way out of my chest. Dean pulled my hands to his chest, making me feel him breathing and making me breathe with him. It was the best way to calm me down from my panic attacks, The fuzziness cleared and I looked into Dean's eyes, he smiled a little at me and cupped my cheek before kissing my head, "Welcome back Cas. C'mon let's get you home."

I shakily nodded, then he helped me out of my wheelchair and into the front seat, Sam and Gabe were already in the backseat, once I was in the seat Gabe rested his hand on my shoulder, "You okay"

I nodded a little, but didn't feel up to talking. I sat silently as Dean put my wheelchair in the trunk then got back in the car. The entire time I was quite while Sam and Gabe chatted in the background and Dean played his music. My brain was still calming down and I just wanted to work through my emotions. I hardly recognized we had got back to the bunker when I felt Dean picking me up and putting me in my chair. I blushed a little and looked down at my hands, "Sorry:

He kissed my head gently , "It's alright Cas, you want to go to bed?" I nodded a little, again not feeling much like talking. We made our way from the garage to his bedroom, and once we were in his room he helped me again out of my chair and into our bed. Once I was settled and out of my jeans Dean laid down next to me. He softly stroked my hair, "What happened to cause that panic attack Cas?"

I bit my lip and looked at my hands, "I was talking to Gabe…about how scared I was of losing you and he was making me feel better but then he mentioned Dad and I don't know… I just got scared again. And then I feared losing you and so many other things" I could feel my breathing getting shallow.

Dean took my hands again placing them on his chest, "Hey hey hey. Feel me breathing Cas, that's it breathe with me"

My breathing calmed down and Dean hugged me softly, I bit the tears back, "I hate being so scared sometimes Dean?"

Dean hugs me tightly and kisses my head lightly, "I know babe, I wish I could just fix it… Your panic attacks scare the hell out of me but I promise Cas, I promise I will always be there."

I closed my eyes and let the tears fall as I cried myself to sleep. Dreaming of Dean and I married, of kids, of my going to heaven and being an angel again. I dreamt of things I had never imagined I would get the chance to live, I may despise being a human stuck in a wheelchair but I love being a human because it has given me a chance to be with Dean, and get to grow old with him

 **((Alright so hopefully this chapter is a little bit better. Thank you all for reading so far please if you want to read more, follow and favorite. IF you have any comments on the story you would like to share please leave me a review, that would be marvelous!))**


	19. Dean's PoV Wedding

**Dean's POV**

 _ **Wedding Day**_

 _March 25th, 2017_

I ran my fingers through my hair messing it up again, I was going to be waiting for Cas, and the priest. We were lucky to get a priest to marry us, it was something Cas had really wanted. Sam came up behind me and slapped his hand on my back, "Dude come on, you are being stupid. Cas fricking loves you. If anyone is scared your going to leave its Cas. He is freaking out a bit."

I looked at Sam, "Has he had a panic attack?"

Sam flinched a little, obviously not meaning to tell me. "Not yet… but I think he may be building up to one… Gabe is able to calm him down for a bit before he starts freaking out again"

I narrow my eyes at Sam, "Damn it Sam. Where is he?"

Sam sighs and takes me to the room that the botanical gardens had given Cas to get ready in, I softly knock and Gabe answers, he looks happy to see me which means Cas is starting to freak out again. I nod and go to Cas who is talking quickly and his breathing is shallow. I kneel down in front of him and take his hands in mine, gently cupping his cheek with my other hand, his voice breaks off and his eyes connect with mine. "Cas I need you to listen to me okay, I mean actually really listen." Once he nodded I continued, "Nothing could ever make me leave you without one hell of a fight from me. I promise you Castiel, I will be waiting for you at the end of that aisle and I will always be there for you okay." Tears fill his eyes and he lets out a broken sob, I hug him tightly and rub his back, "Shhh hey okay you are fine Cas. I gotta go wait for you at the end of that aisle alright. So you better be coming?"

Cas wiped his face and then nodded, I kissed his head then got up and looked at Gabe, who was smiling just a bit. I ignored then went back to my dressing room to finish getting ready. By 8:55 everything was ready and I was waiting for Cas at the altar, we only had a few people close to us that were here. Charlie, Kevin, Mrs. Tran, a few angels to protect the both of them, Benny, Jody, Claire and Alex. Soon a song came on and Cas was at the end of the aisle sitting in his wheelchair, he looked fucking amazing in his tuxedo. I could see his hands shaking as he made is way down the aisle, trying his best to focus on me and not the angels surrounding Kevin and Mrs. Tran. I knew he was uncomfortable around them but we needed them here so we could focus on each other rather than the supernatural. I could tell the angels disapproved of me by the way they were looking at me but I didn't care. The first part went by quickly but when it came time for us to read our vows I gently kneeled down in front of him, and smiled, "Castiel, you have been there with me for so much. After your accident I realized something, I realized that its not just me who needs you, we need each other. No matter what we have always ended up back together. I never imagined I would get the chance to get married, I never thought it would be to someone as wonderful as you. You may not understand everything but you are amazing and you will always be my angel."

Tears pooled in his eyes and he glanced over at where the angels were, I softly took his hand redirecting his attention and he took a deep breath, "Dean… since meeting you my life has become so much brighter, you have such a pure soul and I know you don't always believe that. By getting married to you today I make a commitment to show you that even if it takes til the end of ours lives. My father gave me back to you that night 8 months ago, and despite my accident I am forever grateful. My life is complete with you in it Dean."

I could see the slight confusion on the priests face but he nodded, and then we put our rings on and he smiled at me, "You may kiss your groom."

I smiled and cupped Cas' cheek and kissed him deeply, I could hear cheers in the background and a whistle from Gabe. I pulled away and then smiled, "I love you"

He smiled back and nodded, "I love you too Dean"

The priest smiled and nodded, "I present to you Mr. and Mr. Dean Winchester"

I smiled and then we went down the aisle, back outside. There stood Crowley and I threw my head back annoyed, I just wanted one stinking day. When I looked back at Crowley he had his hands up showing he wasn't a threat, "Oh relax Squirrel, I am not here to bother you or your precious angel. Heard the big news and wanted to give you a gift."

I raised my eyebrows curiously, "Oh really?"

Crowley nodded, "Purely and honestly boys. I will keep my demons away from you and your prophet for a week while you are on your honeymoon. Look believe it or not I have a heart and I know you have both been through hell lately. So none of my demons for a week" Before Cas or I can respond he disappears, I look at Cas who is tapping his fingers on his thighs nervously.

I took his hand, "Look I don't trust him at all, but I am going to believe him. We can go anywhere you want Cas"

Cas looked up at me, "I want to go somewhere sunny Dean?"

I smile, "How does Florida sound babe?"

He nods, "Yes"

Just as I was about to say more Sam pulled up with the impala and handed me the keys, "Alright you two. Where are you going for your honeymoon?"

I smile, "Florida. I am thinking Miami. Listen Crowley was outside, he said he is pulling back his demons for a week while we are on our honeymoon. I want to believe him but keep an eye on Kevin and call me if you need anything?"

Sam nods, "Sure. Look don't worry, I can take care of myself and Kevin for a week kay?"

I narrowed my eyes and then smiled and hugged him, "Sure you can bitch"

He laughed and shook his head, "Get out of here jerk."

I smiled then helped Cas into the car, putting his wheelchair in the trunk and waving to everyone as we drove the 25 hours to Miami. We stopped halfway to sleep both of us to exhausted for anything more than sleep. Once we were in Miami I rolled the windows down and took in the smell of the salty air, it was refreshing. Cas took my hand and smiled at me, "I love you Dean."

I smiled back at him, "I love you to Cas."

 **((OKay so I changed the date a few days because I realised March 22nd falls on a wednesday this year and I wanted the wedding on a Saturday. Hope you guys are enjoying and if you are please follow and favorite. If you have an ideas or comments please leave a review to let me know what you think))**


	20. Cas' PoV Wedding

**(So this chapter is the wedding plus a little more from Cas' POV. It's a long chapter but I am happy with it. So ENJOY)**

 **Cas' POV**

 ** _Wedding Day_**

 _March 25th, 2017_

I ran my hands nervously through my hair, and looked at Gabe for the 4th time this morning, "What if he isn't standing there waiting for me Gabriel… I mean how could he want to marry me… I am broken…"

Gabe sighs heavily and is about to say more when there is a knock on the door, he went and opened it, and Dean stood there halfway dressed in his tux. He walked over and kneeled next to me taking both my hands in one hand and cupping my cheek with his other hand, my eyes connected with his and in a soft calming voice he said, "Cas I need you to listen to me okay, I mean actually really listen." Once I nodded gently kept going, "Nothing could ever make me leave you without one hell of a fight for me. I promise you Castiel, I will be waiting for you at the end of that aisle and I will always be there for you okay" Tears filled my eyes and I let out a sob, Dean wrapped his arms around me tightly and rubbed my back then whispered gently in my ear, "Shhh hey okay you are fine Cas, I gotta go wait for you at the end of that aisle alright. So you better be coming"

I shakily wiped my face and then nodded, he pressed his lips to my forehead before standing up and leaving. Gabe came over to me and smiled, "Told you Cas"

I narrow my eyes at Gabe and then finished getting ready. Finally, it was time, and I waited at the doorway for the song to start before making my way down the aisle. I couldn't stop myself from glancing at the angels surrounding Kevin and his mother. I knew who they were, they had been in my Garrison when I was still an angel that heaven actually wanted. Hester, Inias, and Samandriel. Hester I knew hated me, Inias respected me and Samandriel was a friend. Being around other angels aside from Gabriel gave me a terrible pit in my stomach but I ignored the feeling and refocused on Dean. He was insanely hot in his tuxedo and I was thrilled I got to be married to him. The first part went fast, and then it was time to read our vows, Dean went first, kneeling down in front of me so we were at eye level and he smiled a little, "Castiel, You have been there with me for so much. After your accident I realized something, I realized that it's not just me who needs you, we need each other. No matter what we have always ended up back together. I never imagined I would get the chance to get married, I never thought it would be to someone as wonderful as you. You may not understand everything but you amazing and you will always be my angel."

I felt the tears pooling in my eyes and I couldn't stop myself from glancing at the angels over Dean's shoulder, Hester's face held disgust, Inias seemed unmoved but Samandrial was smiling a little. I felt Dean's rough calloused hand take mine, redirecting my attention to him. I took a slow deep breath and recited the vows I had written, "Dean… since meeting you my life has become so much brighter, you have such a pure soul and I know you do not always believe that, By getting married to you today I make a commitment to show you that even if it takes til the end of our lives. My father gave me back to you that night 8 months ago, and despite my accident I am forever grateful. My life is complete with you in it Dean."

Dean stood up again, both of us ignoring the confused look from the priest, Dean took my band from Sam, gently putting it on my finger. And I took Dean's ring from Gabe, carefully sleeping it onto his. He smiled at me as the priest say, "You may kiss your groom"

Dean cupped my cheek pulling me into a heart-stoppingly passionate kiss, he pulled away slowly and smiled, "I love you"

I smiled softly and nodded, "I love you too Dean"

The priest's words broke our small bubble, "I present to you Mr. and Mr. Dean Winchester"

I smiled and Dean pushed my wheelchair down the aisle back outside, Sam went to bring the impala over so we could leave for a day an go to a motel, to worried to leave Kevin alone with the fear of demons trying to take him again. Once we were outside Crowley was there, and I heard Dean huff behind me, Crowley held his hands up trying to show he wasn't a threat and said, "Oh relax Squirrel, I am not here to bother you or your precious angel. Heard the big news and wanted to give you a gift."

Dean scoffed a little before replying, "Oh really?"

Crowley nodded, "Purely and Honestly boys. I will keep my demons away from you and your prophet for a week while you go are on your honeymoon. So none of my demons for a week" Before Dean or I could wrap our heads around the idea and reply Crowley had disappeared.

I tapped my fingers on my thigh nervously, making Dean take my hand, "Look I don't trust him at all, but I am going to believe him. We can go anywhere you want Cas"

I thought for a moment before looking up at Dean, "I want to go somewhere sunny Dean?"

He smiled down at me, "How does Florida sound babe?"

I nod at the thought,"Yes" The idea sounded pleasant, it was somewhere I had never really been to as an angel or a human so I was excited for the experience. I hadn't noticed Sam pulling up with the impala till he handed Dean the keys, "Alright you two, where are you going for your honeymoon?"

Dean smiles, "Florida, I am thinking Miami. Listen Crowley was outside, he said he is pulling back his demons for a week so we can go on our honeymoon. I want to believe him but keep an eye on Kevin and call me if you need anything?"

Sam nods, "Sure. Look don't worry I can take care of myself and Keven for a week kay?"

Dean hugged him and said, "Sure you can bitch"

This made same laugh and shake his head, "Get out of here jerk"

Dean smiled before helping me into the impala. After he put my wheelchair in the trunk we waved goodbye to everyone and drove towards Miami. Stopping halfway to sleep, we both agreed we would just sleep tonight because we were to exhausted from the drive. Once we had finally made it to Miami Dean rolled the windows down and took in a deep breath of the salty ocean air. I smiled and softly took Dean's hand that was resting on his thigh and said, "I love you Dean"

He looked over at me smiling as well, "I love you to Cas"

We stayed at a nice hotel, Sam had given us some of the money I gave him back so that we could stay somewhere nice. We were in the honeymoon suite, on the 17th floor, after we checked in and went to our room Dean put the key in then opened the door. Before I could go in though he carefully lifted me out of my wheelchair, I was confused so I struggled a little, "Dean what are you doing?"

He practically growled at me, "Take it easy will ya. I am carrying you over the threshold you dork. It's a tradition after a couple gets married okay"

I blushed and relaxed, he carried me all the way to the couch in the sitting room of the suite before carefully sitting me down, then going back and retrieving my wheelchair from the hallway. He sat next to me and smiled, "So, before anything I want to read you my actual version of the vows I wrote… because there was so much more I wanted to say…"

I blushed and nodded, "I too prepared an actual version"

He smiled and kissed my head before pulling out a piece of paper, "Okay here goes, Castiel Angel of the Lord, that is how you first introduced yourself to me. You pulled me out of hell, put me back together, and rebelled against heaven just for me. In purgatory you ran to try and keep me safe because you knew those leviathan's were after you most of all. You may think you are broken but to me you couldn't be more perfect, After your accident I realized we needed each other because after everything we have been through together we always end up back together. As a hunter I never imagined I would get to have a wedding, I certainly never though I would be marrying a former angel who was a guy. You are so wonderful Cas. You may not understand all the jokes I make or the metaphors but you are amazing. And no matter what you will always be my Angel of the Lord."

This time I couldn't stop the tears, and Dean wrapped his arms around me tightly. I finally calmed down and looked at Dean, I had memorized these words so I didn't need to look at a paper, "Dean Winchester, The Righteous Man, those words aren't just part of a prophecy, they are truth. Your soul was the most pure soul I had ever seen in my time as an angel and I understand why you do not always believe that. By getting married I am making the commitment to prove to you how pure you are. When I gripped you tight and raised you from perdition I knew than that I would do my best to keep you safe and it wasn't because it was my duty as an angel. I betrayed you and lied to you, yet you still continued to believe in me, you still cared about me even after I hurt Sam. When we arrived in purgatory I wanted to stay with you and keep you safe but I knew what would be coming after me, I ran as far and as fast as I could to draw as many of them away from you as I could. When I returned from purgatory I was weak and confused but I knew above all else I had to find you. 8 months ago you were possessed by a demon and that Demon killed me, I did not blame you at all, I had to make sure you knew how I really felt about you before I died, and then I was gone, I briefly went to heaven while my father shift my grace to a soul. He gave me back to you and despite my anger with him about my condition I am forever grateful. My life is complete with you Dean Winchester"

Dean also had tears in his eyes and he kissed me deeply his body pressing against mine pushing me back against the armrest of the couch. I closed my eyes and moaned a bit arching my hips up into him a little. Since my accident I had gained a little more feeling in my legs but not enough for me to be able to walk or really use them but I could move a little more now. Dean smiled down at me, "As much as I love you, I want our first time as a married couple to be in a bed, and well while you were looking at the flowers downstairs I reserved us a table for dinner in an hour so we need to get ready."

I blush deeply and nod, Dean carried me into the bathroom, there was only a shower but against the wall there was built in lounging chair that curved in an 'S' so someone could relax in the shower. It was perfect for me since I couldn't stand so Dean carefully sat me down and smiled. He undressed me slowly his hands teasing at my cock before he tossed my clothes outside on the floor before getting undressed himself and starting up the shower. The shower was a rain shower so it fell over the both of us and I shivered a little at the warmth. Dean helped me wash myself carefully massaging the shampoo into my hair, I closed my eyes and relaxed under Dean's ministrations. Once we were done, Dean helped me get dressed into the clothes I often wore as an angel, my suit, blue tie, and trenchcoat. Dean got dressed in one of his suits he would sometimes wear when they needed to pretend to be FBI on hunts. By the time we were dressed it was time for dinner, we made our way down to the hotel's restaurant which was overlooking the ocean. Our table was by the window, the girl seating us removed a chair since I wouldn't be needing it and then left. I stared out onto the ocean and couldn't help but smile at the beauty.

 **((Okay second note. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter, I am happy with this one. I changed one or two words from Dean's POV because I think it sounded better. Anways, if you are enjoying so far and want to read more Please follow and favorite. If you have any questions, comments or concerns, please leave a review.))**

 **(((ALSO CANNOT BELIEVE THAT OVE 2,100 PEOPLE HAVE READ THIS SO FAR. INSANE TO ME!)))**


	21. Chapter 21

**(Okay the links at the top are what I chose for the guys's wedding rings. I tried to describe it but if you want to actually see it you can use the links. This is also a very long chapter cause I couldn't stop writing.)**

 **Dean's POV**

 _ **Dean's Ring:**_

 _ **Castiel's Ring:**_ /images/I/71wmVRxWEuL._UL1500_.jpg

While Cas stared out into the water I stared at him, his eyes were the same color as the water and they shone beautifully. Part of me was still struggling to wrap my head around the fact that Cas was finally my husband but the ring on his ring finger kept reminding me. We had both decided we would pick the other person's ring. Cas' wedding band was a brushed silver band, with blue sapphires, that matched Cas' eyes in the middle engraved on the inside with 'Always my Angel' My ring was black ring, it had all these cracks on it but it was shiny like the impala. Cas got the inside engraved with 'I'll love you forever'. I liked it a lot, and I kept finding myself running my thumbs over the small indentations. I laid my hand on top of Cas' and smiled, he looked at me and blushed deeply before picking up his menu to look for something to eat, I kept my hand on top of his while I decided on something to drink first. The waiter came up to us and smiled wide, "Hi there, My name is Sean and I will be your guys' server tonight. What can I get you gentleman to drink?"

Cas looked at the menu curiously, "I would like a water please,"

I smiled and shook my head a bit, "I would like a whiskey, neat please"

Sean nodded and then left. I looked at Cas whose attention was back on his menu, he bit his lip as he studied the menu, before looking up at me and blushing, "What?"

I smiled and lifted his hand to my lips, "Just happy I get to call you my husband. So what looks good Cas?"

Cas sighed a little, "Well I am unsure truthfully, there are many things that look good but I cannot seem to decide."

I laugh a bit and nod, "Okay well tell me what sounds good and I can help you decide"

He smiled and then looked at the menu, "Well I think the ribeye steak with the lobster tail and twice baked potatoe is what I keep going back to but the Fish 'n' chips looks very good as well."

I laugh a little, "So you are thinking surf and turf of Fish and chips? Well I was thinking about getting the Steak with the lobster tail and potato, so why don't you get the Fish and chips and I will share my food with you if you will share yours with me?"

Cas' eyes brighten a bit and he nods, "That sounds like a good compromise Dean."

I smiled and then looked at Sean as he sat down our drinks and smiled, "Alright Gentleman. Have you decided on something to eat or would you like a few more minutes,"

I looked at Cas who nodded so I ordered for the both of us, "I would like the Surf 'n' Turf. I'd like my steak medium well, no sour cream on the twiced baked potato. My husband would like The Alaskan cod with Chips, extra tartar sauce on the side."

Sean writes our orders down then looks at me, "Would you like soup or salad sir?"

I bit my lip and sighed, "Salad, with Colby jack cheese on the side, and ranch dressing."

Sean nods then looks at Cas with the same question, Cas thinks before saying, "What kind of soup do you have?"

Sean replies, "Today we have Lobster Bisque, or French Onion"

Cas tilts his head as he thinks, "I think the Lobster Bisque"

Sean nods and writes it down, "Alright I will go get these orders in, do you gentleman need anything else?"

I shake my head and smile, "No but thank you very much"

He nods and then leaves again, Cas and I sit in comfortable silence as we wait for our food. My salad and Cas' soup come out. I sprinkle the cheese on top and then pour the ranch dressing over the top, once I am done I look up to see Cas staring at me, and I am obviously confused so he laughs and says, "Hang on I should get a picture of you eating salad and send it to Sam"

I groan and roll my eyes, "Hush you. C'mon lets eat."

By the time we are both finished our entrées come out. We share our food and talk as we eat. Once we are done we go back up to our room, and despite watching Cas eating and somehow making it look ridiculously hot I wanted to walk along the water so we decided to get changed. Our room was a large suite with a sitting room and then an actual bedroom, the bedroom had a large custom bed so it was even larger than a queen, it also had a large hot tub opposite the bed. I helped Cas into his lounge shorts and a t-shirt, then changed into my black basketball shorts and my Metallica t-shirt. Cas decided to leave his shoes off and I put on sandals, it was dark when we went outside and the ocean was relatively calm, the small beach behind our hotel had a sidewalk that went almost all the way to the water so I pushed Cas' wheelchair to the end of the sidewalk and after locking the wheels I picked him up and sat him down in the sand, then I sat next to him. Cas leaned against me running his hands through the sand repeatedly, "It is so soft but abrasive at the same time"

I smiled at him, getting to see Cas experience new things was my favorite because he would get so excited. I wrapped my arm around his waist pulling him closer and kissed his head, "What do you think so far Cas?"

Cas blushed then looks up at me, "It has been wonderful Dean. This beach is very beautiful, and I am so happy to be here with you and that I am married to you Dean."

I smiled and kissed him gently before looking back at the water, there were a few other people enjoying the warm and a couple of them swimming. I softly rubbed Cas' back as he kept looking at the people swimming, "Hey, it's okay"

Cas bit his lip and closed his eyes as a tear fell from the corner, "I wish I could swim…"

I looked at him then at the water, "Well you could float? On your back?"

He looked at me obviously confused, I smiled, "Tomorrow I will show you okay, but c'mon lets go soak in that hot tub?"

Cas nods, "That sounds good Dean."

I nodded and then carefully picked him up and sat him back in his wheelchair, a little girl walking down the sidewalk holding her fathers hand looked at us confused, then up at her father, "Daddy why is he in a chair with wheels."

The father looked embarrassed but I just smiled and kneeled down, "He can't walk. He was in an accident so he can't walk anymore. Now he has to use a wheelchair to get around"

The girl nodded and smiled, "Wow."

I smiled then pushed Cas up the sidewalk back, into the hotel. Once we were back in our room I gently undressed Cas and myself, after filling up the hot tub. I set him into the tub and smiled gently before sliding in next to him, then I turned on the bubbles. Cas gasped gently before relaxing against the seat of the tub, his eyes closing. I smiled a bit and watched him relaxing before moving over to straddle his lap, making his eyes snap open and him look up at me. He blushed deeply, "D..dean"

I softly cupped his cheek, pressing my lips roughly to his, sliding one hand around his neck and smiled, "I want to ride you Cas"

Cas' eyes widened and blushed deeply, "Y..you've never…"

I smiled and nodded, "I know, but I want to."

I could feel his cock twitching excitedly against my ass, but his confidence vanished and he looked down biting his lips, "I can't…. I can't do anything… to…"

I cupped his cheek again making him look at me, "I can do all the work Cas. You can work me open though"

He blushed deeply and nodded, "Okay"

I got off his lap and moved beside him, due to the water he was able to move himself over me and kissed me, one hand sliding down my body. I could feel how nervous he was but he gently rubbed a finger around my hole. I gasped a little at the pleasure, Cas had occasionally teased my hole but this time felt different which was probably because I knew what it was going to be leading to this time. Slowly he pushed a finger inside, it burned but that faded quickly as he slowly thrusted his finger and out. I moaned and rested my head on his shoulder, panting gently. The water helped me relax and acted as a good enough lube for Cas to stretch me open. Slowly but deliberately he stretched me open to 4 finger, his fingers pressed against something deep inside that made me cry out and see stars. When I opened my eyes Cas was smirking at me, I groaned a little, "Shut up"

He smiled softly before gently pulling his fingers out, and I couldn't stop the whine from escaping at the sudden loss. The way it felt was surprisingly filling, Cas bit his lip, "You are sufficiently stretched Dean."

I nodded and moved him back so he was sitting in the lounge type chair of the hot tube, carefully straddling his lap, Cas reached down and held his cock in place as I slowly found the right position, the blunt tip of his cock pressing against my hole. Finally I sank down on his cock, gasping out at the burn I felt, it hurt like hell but I knew that would fade so I kept sliding until he was fully inside me and I gripped his shoulder tightly, taking deep shakey breaths. Cas' eyes were closed and his arms wrapped around me one hand rubbing up and down my back soothingly. Finally the burn eased and I looked at Cas, "You ready for me to move love?"

He nodded, his pupils blown wide with lust "Y..yes"

I slowly started to pull of his cock, almost pulling off completely before sinking back down to the hilt. I moaned out and closed my eyes, I started riding him faster and it wasn't long before Cas cried out, "Dean! I c…can't t..take much more.. I am close"

I kissed him roughly and sped up, somehow finding the perfect angel for his cock to hit that little bundle of nerves again, it threw me even closer to the edge, Cas reached between us and started rubbing my cock harshly. The sensations were overwhelming to me and with on more downward thrust hitting my prostate I cried out loudly and was thrown over the edge, cumming harshly into the water. I could feel Cas' cock twitch inside me and filling me. Once I came down from my orgasm I was panting roughly and laid my head against Cas' shoulder, I could feel Cas shaking beneath me and I realized the water hard grown cold. I slowly pulled off Cas' cock, oddly enough it felt like suddenly a piece was missing from me. I ignored it and slowly got out of the tub, drying myself off with a towel before helping Cas out of the tub and laying him down on the bed. Once he was dry I covered him up and then drained the tub before returning back to bed. Cas was half-asleep by the time I crawled into bed, I laid down next to him pulling him close, he laid his head on my chest still panting and shaking a little. I softly ran my fingers through his hair and kissed his head, "How was that babe?"

He softly nuzzled my chest, "Was amazing Dean… w..what about for you?"

I nodded gently, "Much better than I ever imagined Cas"

Cas smiled a bit then looked off into space and started to doze off. His breathing evened out as he fell asleep, I smiled and looked up at the ceiling before closing my eyes and soon falling asleep myself. Around midnight I felt Cas clawing at my chest and he was crying in pain, I woke up quickly realizing he was having a nightmare. I was able to get on top of him and pin him down, I held him down tightly, his crying got worse and finally his eyes snapped open. He fought hard at first, he was confused and disoriented, finally his eyes connect with mine and he lets out a broken sob and he relaxes, once I am sure he won't hurt me or himself I climb off him and sit him up pulling him close to me. I had forgotten to give him his medicine at dinner like we always did, he sobbed into my chest for what felt like hours but in reality was only maybe 15 minutes before he had settled down some, he was still whimpering a little but he was no longer crying as hard and his head was nestled against my chest. Slowly I laid back against the headboard and softly ran my fingers through his hair, when we forget his medicine his nightmares would be really bad. After having a nightmare he tended to not fall back asleep again because he was scared of having another nightmare, I gently stroked his hair and then kissed his head. "It was about the crash…"

I nodded a little, Cas would tell me what his nightmares were about but usually refused to describe them. "I had a feeling cause the way you were fighting… You fight me different when the nightmares are about the crash"

I could feel his eyelashes flutter against my chest telling me he had closed his eyes. After taking a long deep breath he softly said, "I remember it all… I was on my motorcycle, the man how hit me… he was trying to change from the right lane to the left lane, I was just at the end of his bumper, he used his turn signal indicating he was switching lanes, he didn't see me so I simply slowed down but he did as well, I tried to turn my wheel but his car was to fast and it caught on my wheel. I remember my leg getting crushed under the bike… I tried to catch my fall with my hand but I remember feeling the snap of the bone… My body exploded in pain as I slid on the road. My helmet bounced off the road, my head bouncing against the helmet. I honestly thought I was going to die, but then I opened my eyes, that EMT tried to keep me awake but the pain was to much, when I awake again I was in the ambulance, the first thought that actually entered my head was you. I needed to tell you what happened, I needed to call you. I distantly remembered saying your name before the darkness overwhelmed me again. The pain was so unbearable Dean… I truthfully thought I was going to die…"

Cas was crying again and I hugged him tightly, he had never talked to me about the accident, the pain of the memory had often been to much for him to be willing to talk about it. I held him close and rocked him gently, I wished I could take this pain away from him but I couldn't do anything for him besides be there for him.

 **((Okie Dokie, a long ass chapter as I stated at the beginning because I kept having ideas and couldn't figure out where to end this chapter. I hope you guys are all enjoying this so far, I have a few ideas for future chapters but no clue on the ending. This stories idea has really blossomed but I am really happy with most of it. If you are enjoying this and want to read more, Please follow and favorite. If you have and Comments, questions or concerns please leave a review! Thank you all for reading so far! I am having a lot of fun writing this.))**


	22. Chapter 22

**Cas' POV**

Dean was hugging me tightly as I sobbed. It was the first time since my accident that I had told Dean what had happened in detail. I was to scared to fall back asleep right now, I didn't want to relive that accident again. Dean slowly got up, "How about we watch a movie and soak in the hot tub?"

I nod a little, the TV was behind the hot tub so we could relax in the hot tub and watch tv at the same time. Dean went over to the hot tub and filled it up with warm water before carrying me over to the tub and easing me in. I closed my eyes slowly and relaxed in the warm water, I looked around for Dean to see him coming out the bathroom with some sort of vial, "They have these essential oils to put in the water to help you relax," I watched him as he poured a few drops from each vial into the tub and then he turned on the bubbles, the scent was distributed quickly and I closed my eyes relaxing. It smelled like lavender and chamomile, Dean smiled at me then grabbed the remote for the TV and got in. "How's that Cas?"

I nod gently, "Smells very nice Dean."

He smiles proudly, "Not going to lie I texted Sam to ask him what would be good to help you calm down. He told me Lavender and Chamomile worked best."

I laughed a little and nodded, "It's okay Dean. It is nice."

Dean smiles before finding a movie for us to watch. I relaxed in his arms and closed my eyes,I didn't realise I had fallen asleep until Dean was trying to take me out of the tub, making my eyes open hazily, Dean softly smiled, "Shh it's okay Cas close your eyes. I've got you."

I looked around a little sleepily before relaxing against his chest, the smell of the lavender and chamomile on my skin and Dean's was lulling me to sleep. When I woke up again the sun was shining and Dean wasn't next to me, I looked around curiously for Dean and heard him in the other room talking to someone else. From my angle it looked like someone with breakfast so I assumed staff, after Dean tipped the girl he came in with a silver cart with breakfast food on it. He smiled bright at me when he realized I was awake, "Good morning Sleepy head."

I groaned a little and ran my hands through my hair, "Wait… I… I fell back asleep?"

Dean smiles and nods, "Yes, you slept good the rest of the night."

I was surprised I had fallen back asleep and didn't have nightmare. "Oh…"

Dean sets a tray of food over my lap and smiles, "Breakfast in bed."

I smiled a little and forced myself into a sitting position eyeing the food. Scrambeled eggs with salt an pepper on them, hashbrowns, sausage and bacon. I smiled at Dean, "Thank you Dean."

He nodded and kissed my head before grabbing his plate and sitting next to me, "Of course Cas, anything for you. You know that right?"

I nodded a little, "Yes of course Dean. So what do you have planned for us today?"

Dean chuckled a little and shook his head, "You know me to well. I figured we could go back down to the beach and I could teach you how to float. Its easier to float in salt water. Then I figured we could stroll around for a while and then find somewhere to eat. I also wanted to talk to you about getting a few protection sigils…"

I pause eating and look at him, "Protection sigils?"

Dean sighs, "Was sorta hoping you might not pay attention to that bit… You need an Anti-Possesion tattoo, and I figured you knew some angel ones. I know Chuck has an order of protection on you but I want to be sure…"

I nod a little, "That is a good suggestion Dean."

Dean smiles a little hesitantly, "I need to get my anti-possesion tattoo redone anyways… I just… was pretending I didn't."

I lean over and gently press my lips to his and nod, "It's okay Dean"

Dean nods then goes back to eating his breakfast. Once we were both done with breakfast Dean handed me my swim trunks. I put them on pretty easily, then with Dean's assistance I was in my wheelchair. I was still self-concious about the scarring on my body so I tried to grab a t-shirt but Dean stopped me, "You don't need that Cas…"

I looked away hesitantly, "Dean…"

He kneeled down in front of me, "Cas, all your scars are part of who you are." He touched the scar on my wrist first, it was only 3 inches. "They all show how strong you are. You were able to come over so much Cas." He then ran his fingers over the scarring on my upper shoulder and my stomach, "You mean the world to me Castiel. I love every one of these scars." He rested his hand on my left leg, it had the worst scars because my leg had been crushed between my motorcycle and the road so there was a lot of scarring and muscle damage.

I closed my eyes and bit my lip against the tears that burned at the corner of my eyes. I felt Dean cup my cheeks and press his lips to mine. I took a long deep breath and looked at him, "T…thank you Dean…"

Dean smiled and kissed my head, "Of course. Now come on"

I nodded and then we went down to the beach, there were more people out this time and I felt people staring, it made me want to hide but Dean's hand on my shoulder helped soothe my anxiety. Instead of stopping at the sidewalk Dean pushed the wheelchair into the sand, it became harder so I helped. Once we were by the water Dean set out our towels on the beach before helping me out of my wheelchair and onto one of the towels, he smiled at me once I was settled and kissed my head, "Where is the sunscreen?"

He laughed and grabbed the bag he had attached to my wheelchair and handed me the sunscreen. Once we had finished a few college age boys laughed and scoffed, "Faggots are bad enough but he is cripple too."

I tensed and bit my lip hard, I saw the fire in Dean's eyes and his fists were clenched tightly, I just grabbed his arms and shook my head a little. "It is alright Dean."

Dean was about to argue but the tears threatening the corners of my eyes stopped him and he hugged me softly whispering, "Its okay Cas. Cmon I gotta teach you how to float. The water may be kinda cold okay?"

I nodded a little, trying desperately to ignore the college boys words, it hurt and made me desperately want to hide but I also wanted to enjoy my honeymoon with Dean. He carefully lifted me ignoring the looks from the other beachgoers, and took me into the water, once he was waist deep he gently let me go. I hissed and struggled a little at the shock of the low temperature of the water, "Easy Cas you gotta relax."

I bit my lip and forced myself to take deep breaths, they were shallow at first but with the heat of the sun I warmed up quickly. Dean was still supporting me some but slowly he removed his arms and then he smiled at me, "See there ya go. You are perfect."

 **((Sorry its been a few days since I updated. Been kinda busy with my homework. Trying to get stuff done so I can pass these classes this semester and be that much closer to my degree. Anyways thank you all for reading so far. If you want to read more please follow and favorite. And if you are enjoying this story please leave a review to let me know what you are all thinking!))**


	23. Chapter 23

**Dean's POV**

I watched Cas as he was floating, he had a smile on his face that was so wide as he got to experience this for the first time. I glanced at the people who were staring at us, but a lot of them were ignoring us. It pissed me off but I needed to focus on Cas, I looked down at him and he smiled, "This feels nice Dean."

I nodded and leaned down and kissed him, "Told you. If you want to swim you just kinda swing your arms back one at a time, or at the same time. Make cups with your hands and yeah there ya go."

He did as I said and was actually alright at it, I smiled and watched him swim and walked along side him before he relaxed and sighed a little. "Everyone is staring at me."

I sighed and looked at him, "So, ignore them."

Cas shook his head a little, "Can we go walk around or whatever…"

I nodded and took his hand and brought him back to the edge of the water before picking him up and sitting him down in his wheelchair. Grabbing our towels I handed it to him so he could dry himself off then dried myself off, grabbing a t-shirt for the both of us. Cas relaxed a little once he had the t-shirt on, he was still self-concious of his body no matter how much I tried to reassure him. As I pushed him back to the sidewalk the people who had been staring went back to whatever they were doing, I looked at Cas whose eyes were looking around curiously. I had never been to Miami so I was doing the same thing. After a few hours of just exploring we made our way back to a ice cream parlor and got ice cream. Cas wanted just regular vanilla but I wanted their superman cone. Superman was not my favorite superhero but it looked good, we sat at a table and enjoyed the ice cream. Cas looked over and I could see him tense, so I followed his line of sight to see Chuck standing there, I hadn't seen him since he brought Cas back. Every fiber of me wanted to be angry at him for leaving Cas like this, as Chuck walked over Cas looked away, he had tears in his eyes and it made me even more angry. Chuck sat down across from me and looked at us, "I wanted to say congratulations."

I narrowed my eyes at him, "You son of a-"

Cas laid his hand on my hand, "Dean."

I bit my lip and closed my eyes, Cas took a deep breath, "Thank you father"

Chuck nodded at Cas then looked at me, "You are angry with me still…"

I laughed, "Angry is an understatement. Pissed off is better. You abandoned Cas when he was in that accident and now you are acting like you care"

Chuck laughed a little but it made me feel uneasy, "I have always cared Dean. I created Castiel to be special, I created Castiel specifically for you the righteous man. I knew what my son's would do, I knew Lucifer's plan, I created Castiel specifically to pull the righteous man from perdition, to rebel against heaven for you. His brothers often said 'Too much Heart' was his problem but none of them understood it was his purpose. You think that I did not care, Dean that accident should have killed him, I protected him, Cas didn't always wear his helmet but I knew what was going to happen so I implanted in his mind to make him wear his helmet that day. His spinal cord should have completely severed and he should not have had any feeling in his legs at all, in fact he should not have been able to feel from his chest down but I protected it, I rarely intervene like that. In fact almost never, but as you said Castiel is my son, I do care."

Cas' eyes were wide as he looked at Chuck, "I…"

I bit my lip, feeling slightly less angry but I was still angry. "Just enough to leave him crippled though huh? Gabriel could have healed all that but you wouldn't let him."

Cas looked at me with tears in his eyes, "S…so. Would it be better if I wasn't crippled? You would want me more?"

I frowned and looked at Cas, "No Cas that isn't what I meant."

He shook his head and backed his chair away from the table, "Seemed like you did." When I went to grab his hand he backed away further and shook his head, "I need to be alone… I am going back to the hotel…"

I bit my lip and watched him leave then turned to look at Chuck who was still sitting there watching after Cas sympathetically, "I don't get you…"

Chuck looked at me with raised eyebrows, "What is it you don't get Dean?"

I shook my head, "You could fix him… but you don't. I am not saying I don't love Cas this way because it doesn't matter to me that he is confined to a wheelchair. It bothers me because he deserves better. I know he is human and he doesn't have anything to do with the supernatural world but I did before his accident, but since his accident I stay at the bunker with him all the time to take care of him. Doesn't that matter at all?"

Chuck shook his head, "I won't fix him for more than just that Dean, technically you deserve no answers. You are just a tiny human on a tiny planet."

I desperately want to punch him in the face but I am keeping myself in check and I shake my head, "Than why do you care enough to show up. Cas is just a human to."

Chuck laughed and shook his head, "Cas is not just a human"

I smiled, "Exactly"

He frowned and rolled his eyes, "Enough Dean. Now if I were you I would stop talking to me and go find your husband."

I narrowed my eyes at him then got up and walked back to the hotel, it was a half an hour walk back to the hotel. When I got upstairs to our room I realized Cas had the key and my spare key had been in his bag. I bit my lip and knocked on the door, "Cas…"

I heard the TV get louder and I sighed a bit, knocking harder, "Cas please at least let me in…"

Finally the TV was turned down and I heard his wheelchair come over and he pulled the door open just enough so I could open it the rest of the way and he went back into the bedroom area and closed the door, I heard the lock snapping into place and sighed heavily and sat with my back against the door, "Cas…"

I could faintly hear him crying and it made my chest hurt, I didn't mean to hurt him. "It's fine Dean"

I shook my head, "I know better than that Cas."

I heard him sniffle and he replied, "It is not of import."

I sighed and looked at the door, "Of course it is babe. Please open the door and let me talk to you…" After a few minutes, I heard the snap of the door unlocking but he didn't open the door, so I got up and opened the door, he had his back to me and was looking out the window so I went over to him and kneeled down in front of him. "Cas… I love you. I don't care that you are in a wheelchair. It bothers me that he lets you suffer. I see how much it bothers you Cas, you have gotten so much more self-concuious about yourself since your accident and I hate it because you don't see yourself the way I do."

Cas bit his lip fighting the tears, "It did not sound that way… you would rather have me walking…"

I ran my hand through my hair and shook my head, "No Cas it doesn't matter"

He laughed bitterly, "You running your hand through your hair tells me everything Dean. You would prefer if I could walk."

I snapped, "Yes okay Yes."

I saw the hurt flash in his eyes and it made me sigh, sometimes I hated my big mouth. Cas shook his head, "Then why did you get married to me"

I tried to take his hand but he backed away from me again, "Because I love you Cas, and I want to be your husband. Yeah I wish that you could walk but its not a big deal."

This time he closed his eyes, "It is to me… Don't you think I wish I could walk so I wouldn't be so much of a burden on you… so you could go back to hunting and doing what you love. So I could have my damn job back"

I looked at him, "Cas you aren't a burden. I would rather be at the bunker with you than hunting. Every time we left you I was worried as hell something would happen to you, I hated leaving you Cas. Babe please look at me." It took him a seconds but finally his blue eyes opened and they connected with mine so I continued, "Cas I want you to be able to walk because I know how weak you feel and how insignificant you think you are. I want you to be able to walk because you have been so depressed lately and I hate seeing you so upset. I am sorry I am an idiot and shitty when it comes to thinking before speaking sometimes but me wanting you to walk has nothing to do with how amazing and wonderful I find you."

Tears pooled in his eyes and he covered his face, letting out a broken sob. I moved closer to him and wrapped him tightly in my arms, letting him cry into my shoulder. I softly rubbed his back, feeling like a complete idiot right now but I knew Cas just needed me to be there for him until he could calm down so I did my best, hugging him and pressing my lips to his forehead every couple of minutes.

 **((Okay then. Here ya go. Of course they get into a fight on their honeymoon I mean it is Dean and Cas guys. Hope you are all enjoying so far, if you want to read more please follow and favorite. If you have any questions, comments or concerns please leave a review!))**


	24. Chapter 24

**((Hey Guys! I am sorry its been so long. Also sorry for this chapter. You guys are gunna kinda hate me for it but dont worry I have more coming!))**

 **Cas' POV**

I sobbed into Dean's chest as he hugged me, I was still slightly angry and hurt but I knew Dean was telling me the truth, I had calmed down mostly until I felt a slight charge in the air and there was a gust of wind through the room, I knew it was Chuck and Dean did to, he pulled away and looked at the window were Chuck was standing and he looked deep in thought before he turned to Dean, "You are right Dean… Cas is not just any human…"

Before I could ask Dean what Chuck meant, Chuck walked over to me and laid his hand on my forehead, searing pain went through my whole body making me cry out, I must have blacked out because when I opened my eyes I was lying in bed, Dean was lying next to me stroking my hair, I could see he was shaking and I felt confused, "D…Dean…"

Dean looked at me with tears in his eyes, "Hey there. How are you feeling…"

I looked around for Chuck, but he was no longer in the room. "I… I am fine. What happened.."

Dean bit his lip, "He..he healed you… completely healed you…"

I felt my eyes widen and I realized that my wheelchair was gone, so I looked at Dean again. "H…he what?"

Dean smiled then reached down and grabbed my leg. I realize I could feel his hand and I moved my legs, relief flooding through me and I got out of the bed. Dean smiled at me and came over to me, "He said he healed you completely…"

I bit my lip crying and then hugged Dean tightly, my head actually resting on his shoulder. He smiled at me and kissed me, I took a deep breath and then remembered what Chuck had said, "What did he mean you were right Dean?"

He sighed, "After you left I called him out… he said I was just a human… so I asked him why he cared cause you were just a human to… and then he said that you weren't just a human. I said exactly… and he realized what he had said."

I sighed and looked at him, "So you tricked him…"

Dean smiled a little, I could tell he was proud of himself and I rolled my eyes, "So tattoos?"

I nodded, a bit. "C..can we walk?"

Dean laughs a bit and nods, "Of course we can babe."

He took my hand and we made our way down to the lobby and out the door holding hands. The rest of our honeymoon was amazing and I was so thankful I could walk again. Despite the brave face I had been putting on it was killing me to feel so useless. When we got home however something was wrong with Dean, he was more on edge than usual, Sam and Kevin noticed immediately but neither seemed to want to say something and as his husband I didn't want to start another argument.

I went back to work 6 months after getting married to Dean and he had gone back to hunting, there were times our relationship was strained but for the most part things were good, that is until I got home last week to find Dean in our bed with a woman. I still remembered his face when he had realized I was home early, I bit my lip hard fighting the urge to cry and just turned around to leave, completely ignoring Dean as he tried to yell after me, I took the keys to the car I had bought not long ago and drove as far and as fast as I could, doing what I could to disappear. When I was far too exhausted to drive anymore I finally stopped to get a hotel, that's where I have been the last 2 days, Dean has been calling non-stop but I just haven't had the desire for excuses. I should have known better, I loved Dean but he had his habits. I was ready to just quit, I couldn't do it anymore, I had had enough. So, I called Dean, he answered immediately, "Cas finally please baby I am so sorry."

I closed my eyes and bit back the tears, "I am too Dean. I am not coming home, I am sorry I suppose this was the last straw. I know you have been flirting with other girls while you are on hunts with Sam. I am sorry that I was no longer enough for you. I love you so much Dean and no matter what you are my everything. I am in San Diego, California at a hotel. I will send you the address, when you get here I won't be here but there will be a note for you. I am not doing well as a human"

I heard Dean getting up, "Cas babe don't do anything drastic please. Please for fuck's sake Cas please don't leave me. I need you."

I laughed bitterly, "Obviously Dean you don't. I am sorry Dean I love you so much but I won't do this anymore."

Dean yelled, "Damn it Cas please! Just let me talk!"

I closed my eyes, deciding to listen to what Dean was going to say, "Fine. Talk."

He sighed heavily, I heard the door of the Impala closing and the engine revving, "Baby I was being an idiot… I was drunk she just… I don't. Look honestly, I don't have some special excuse and I can't say you were neglecting me because you weren't. I have no idea why I wanted her but Cas you have to believe me she meant absolutely nothing. I love you so much and I can't lose you. Please baby please."

I closed my eyes tighter against the tears before taking a deep breath, "No Dean, I am sorry. I love you but I have had enough." I then hung up the phone before Dean could respond, after making sure the letter was on the bed and texted Dean the address of the hotel and the room number, before gathering my things, making sure the keys were on the bed so Dean could have the care back. I also threw the phone away so Dean wouldn't contact me anymore. I got all my cash out making sure to leave Dean and Sam enough money before getting a bus ticket to Vancouver to just disappear. Once I was in Vancouver I found a hotel and laid down in bed. I was half asleep when I heard a flutter of wings, I sat up to see Gabe standing at the end of my bed, "The Winchesters may not be able to track you but you still have just enough grace for me to baby brother. I've just been giving you your space. So… want to talk to me."

I bit my lip and told Gabriel what had happened, and stopped him from going to kill Dean. "It's not worth it. Besides Sam would probably hate you… I just… it's not worth it brother."

Gabriel sighed heavily, "I knew he was stupid but I didn't think he would be that stupid… Can I at least tell Sam you are okay, he has been worried as hell? Dean didn't really tell him what happened."

I nodded, "I was going to call him, I needed to pick up a phone though, plus I didn't want him saying anything to Dean…"

Gabriel nodded, "I will let him know, trust me once he knows what happened he will be pretty pissed at Dean to."

After hugging Gabriel, he disappeared again and I slumped down back into the bed, part of me itched to call Dean, I missed him and felt ridiculously empty knowing he cheated on me. Part of me wondered if that had been the first time he had done it, I closed my eyes curling up in a ball and cried myself to sleep.


	25. Chapter 25

**Dean's POV**

I drove to San Diego, using the address Cas gave me for the hotel, I knew the room would be empty but a part of me had hoped he would be there. His trench coat laid on the bed with some papers on it. I gently sat on the bed pulling the trench coat into my lap and started reading,

 _"Dean,_

 _When we got married I never anticipated this happening, part of me wishes I was dead. When I found you in bed with that woman that morning it made me realize that while you may have thought you loved me you would rather be with women. I am sorry for everything that we had to go through. You should have left me dead all those months ago because it would have been better than this hell I am going through right now. Whether you really loved me or not I don't know but I know that I loved you. As an angel, I never dreamed of a future with you, as a human you gave me the chance to dream, and then you ripped it away from me. I wanted a life with you Dean Winchester and this is killing me, I have been thinking about ending my life, even as I write this part of me wants to. You are the only love I have ever known and I don't know how I can make things different. If I were an angel I may have lost it and killed that woman just out of spite, but truthfully, I know it isn't her fault. It's your fault Dean, whether you were intoxicated or not you made the decision to sleep with her. I am going to leave the country Dean, please do not look for me. You will not find me, I do not wish to see you again and truthfully that kills me the idea of never seeing you again but I can't stand the pain of seeing you again. Having the memory of you naked in our bed with a woman._

 _Love Always your Husband,_

 _Castiel Winchester."_

I closed my eyes tightly and started throwing things around in anger, I wanted to tell Cas the truth, but the woman told me if I told him the truth she would kill Sam and Cas. She wanted us apart, because we were so strong together. I didn't know what else to do and now I have lost the man of my dreams. Suddenly the sound of my phone ringing broke my concentration and I pulled it out of my pocket to see Sam's name. I sighed a little and answered it, "Hey Sammy…"

"What the fuck did you do Dean! Cheating on Cas? What the fuck?" He spits angrily. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath.

"It doesn't matter." I said as nonchalantly as I could make myself sound.

Sam scoffed, "You finally had something good Dean, how can you just throw it away like it was nothing!"

I bit back tears, "Fuck of Sam, you don't know shit. I'll be back in a couple days."

Before Sam could say anything more hung up, I collapsed to my knees and started sobbing, angry for letting Cas get away. Knowing he wished death upon himself was hardly the point, I had done it to keep him from being murdered and now I may lose him. After a couple of days of searching around trying to find where Cas may have gone I finally head back to Kansas. Once I get to the bunker I park baby and go to the kitchen, Kevin is on the phone with someone and his eyes widen and he quickly leaves the room, part of me wonders if it's Cas. Sam comes in as I grab the bourbon of the shelf, I can feel his eyes on me as I pour myself a drink. Finally, I turn to him, "What?" I bite out angrily.

Sam scoffs, "The last few days I have been trying like hell to figure out why the hell you would do something like this. You love Cas, he may be doubtful right now but I know you and I know you would do anything to keep Cas safe, and I know that also means breaking up with him or cheating on him to keep him safe so is that what happened, because I swear to Chuck, Dean if that isn't the case I will kick your ass for cheating on him."

I closed my eyes, the bitch never said I can't tell Sam, even though she threatened his life. I down my whole glass and my shoulders slump as I open my eyes to look at Sam, "She said if I told Cas she would kill him and you… She wanted to break us up because we are so strong together…"

Sam sighed heavily and his taut stance relaxed," Fucking hell Dean, you realize you may completely lose him anyways. He is seriously contemplating suicide Dean."

I went to the table and sat down, "I know… "Suddenly I realized that I never told him any of this, "Wait how do you know?"

Sam sighed heavily, "Gabe went and found him for me because you weren't telling me shit. Gabe is really worried about Cas, says he is hardly getting out of bed and has been drinking, you know how little he actually likes alcohol."

I close my eyes tightly, "I don't know what else to do Sam… if I tell him the truth I don't think he will believe me for one… and two the bitch said she would kill you both."

Sam sat down across from me, "Well there has to be more to her just wanting to break you guys up for you to actually do it."

I nodded, "She said that our relationship was causing problems in Heaven and making angels doubt things and not having relationships with humans... and if we didn't end things she would go after all of us… I didn't know what else to do. I mean I tried calling Chuck but I think he has disappeared again..."

Sam looked at me, "It was an angel?"

I nodded, "Yeah, she grabbed me at the bar, pulled her angel blade on me. Gave me an ultimatum… she made it so Cas could get off early so he could find me in bed with someone else…"

Sam sighed, "We have to tell Gabriel... maybe he could find her. I mean he said the angels don't even know he is back so this could work to our advantage…"

I bit my lip, "Do you really think it could work… I just… can't lose him forever Sam… I swear I love him and I want him forever and I want to adopt kids with him just…"

Sam laid his hand on my shoulder, "I'll call Gabe but you should go because he is pretty pissed at you…"

I nod and walk to the room I share with Cas and sigh a little, collapsing on the bed.


	26. Chapter 26

**Sam's POV**

After Dean leaves the room I call for Gabe, he instantly appears with a soft flutter of wings, "What'd Dean say?"

I sighed and explained what Dean told me. Gabe's eyes held hatred by the end of it, "Did he get her name?"

I shrug a little, "I don't really know. You'd have to ask him. I think he may be in his room."

Gabe nods and instead of walking he disappears with the usual flutter of wings, I walk to Dean's room to see Gabe standing at the door, I raise my eyebrows, "I figured you would just go right in."

Gabe sighs, "No I need you there to keep me from killing him, ultimatum or not he made the wrong choice and Cas is a wreck."

I sigh and knock on the door, Dean lowly says, "Just come in."

I open the door and go in first, Gabe just behind me. "Hey Dean... do you remember this angel's name?"

Dean looks up at me, but his eyes drift to Gabe who is standing beside me, "She said her name was Naomi."

That name made Gabe's whole body go tense, "You're sure?"

Dean studied Gabe for a minute before nodding, "Yeah I am. She told me a few times. Why?"

Without answering Gabe moved next to Dean and touched his forehead and closed his eyes. He looked focused so neither of us said anything. Finally, Gabe pulled his hand away, "That little bitch. Dean Naomi erased certain memories to get you to bend to her will. Once I kill her your memories will be restored. I promise it wasn't your fault Dean. I will talk to Cas once Naomi is dead."

Before either of us could say anything, he was gone. Dean looked confused but also pissed, "What the fuck did your boyfriend mean Sam?"

I glared at him, "How should I know Dean?"

Dean started to say something back before suddenly he cried out and grabbed his ears tightly and closed his eyes. I ran to his side and rubbed his back. I didn't understand what was going on but I just sat next to him rubbing his back. Soon he slowly let go of his head, and when his eyes opened I realized there was tears of blood running down his cheeks. Blood vessels had clearly burst in his eyes, I continue to rub his back till he finally stops me. "I… I said no. I told her that there was no way she would get Cas or you… and then. she like… drilled into my head… and then like a machine I told her yes…"

I frowned, "What the hell…"

He shook his head a little, "I… I don't know… I know it hurt… god damn my head still hurts… I… I think I am going to sleep…"

I looked at Dean, I was concerned at how he was acting but I gently nodded. "Sure, thing Dean. Lay down I'll get the light on my way out". I got up and Dean curled to his side of the bed one hand stretched over to Cas' side and closed his eyes. I turned the light off and left the room, it only took a few minutes for Cas to call me on my phone.

"Is what Gabriel said true Sam?" Cas's words were slightly slurred but also surprisingly sober compared to when I talked to him earlier.

"Yeah, I am guessing when Gabe killed Naomi his clutched his head and his eyes were bleeding… he is acting really different right now but he went to bed. Come home Cas, you guys need each other." I say calmly.

Cas sighs heavily, "Okay… I will have Gabriel bring me home."

I smiled a little, "Have him sober you up to."

Cas doesn't respond, instead he hangs up. After a few minutes, I hear the telltale wings and I smile, when I turn around Gabe is standing with a now clean-shaven and sober Cas. Cas looks at me, "Is he in our room?"

I nod a little, "Yes but he is sleeping right now."

Cas nods then slowly walks to their room, I hear him hesitate before going in but finally he goes in. Gabe looks at me, "Was Dean okay?"

I tell him what happened after I assume he killed Naomi and he nods, "I am sorry I should have warned you about that. We aren't supposed to mess with human's minds like she did."

 **((Okay guys, the next chapter isn't dont yet but I am working on it, hope you guys dont hate me too bad. If you do like this please follow and favorite. Leave me a review so I know what you think!)**


	27. Chapter 27

**Cas' POV**

I walk to our room, I can't help but pause at the door as the memory of Dean in bed with someone else hits me, had I been an angel I would have recognized Naomi's true form and known better. Finally mustering up the courage I opened the door to see Dean curled up in a ball on his side of the bed, his hand outstretched to my side of the bed. It took me a second to realize the whimpering I was hearing was coming from Dean, I ignored the pain in my chest and went to my side, stripping down to nothing because I knew Dean loved to be able to touch my skin. Once I was down to just my boxers I got into bed with Dean and he instantly grabbed onto me desperately, his head over my heart listening to it beat, he was still whimpering so I gently ran my fingers through his hair whispering soft hushing noises hoping to calm him some. After a few minutes he relaxed some, but he was still clinging desperately to me, I felt awful for leaving him now that I knew the truth. If Gabriel hadn't already killed Naomi I would find a way to heaven and kill her myself. After a few hours, I felt Dean stirring gently, I could just barely feel his eyelashes against my skin as he opened his eyes. He pulled away and looked at me, "But… you said you… didn't want to see me again."

I sighed a little and nodded, "Gabriel told me the truth… I know that it is not your fault Dean, Naomi messed with your head. She knew better than to mess with a human mind, it could have killed you. A part of me is still angry and I can't decide if I still trust you even though it wasn't your fault… Because when I came home that day it was my worst nightmare and that is still in my head… But I love you Dean, you are my husband, and we need to get through things together. I shouldn't have run away"

Dean was just listening to me intently, before suddenly he leaned forward and pressed his lips to mine, I closed my eyes and relaxed into the kiss. The kiss alone made me forgive Dean, I could feel all the emotions radiating from him as he kissed me. After he pulled away he rested his forehead against mine and breathed deeply, "I want to start a family Cas… I want us to have kids…"

I smiled a little at the idea of Dean being a father and nodded, "I do as well Dean."

Dean closed his eyes and pulled away enough so he could rest his head on my shoulder, I gently played with his hair, despite him seeming okay Naomi messed with his mind, and for angel's it is easy to repair, however with human's their brains are much more delicate. "How are you feeling Dean?"

Dean looked up at me, his eyes were glossy and I knew he was fighting the tears that were ready to spill, "I. I don't know how to explain… I just… I feel so raw…"

I nodded a little and softly wrapped my arms tighter around him, "I am going to be here okay, Naomi messed with your mind and a human's brain is delicate, who knows what she messed with so you have to talk to me about things okay Dean. I know you prefer not to talk about things but I have to keep an eye on you and before I could just read your mind but now I am going to rely on what you tell me."

Dean nodded but stayed quiet, I closed my eyes and sighed a little softly, I felt my new phone buzz in my pocket, Dean was not paying much attention to anything so I carefully pulled it out to see a text from Sam.

Hey Cas, How is Dean doing? And are you doing okay, I know this is a lot.

I sigh a little and look down to see Dean is now fast asleep, I stroke his hair a bit before typing out a reply to Sam.

He is okay, with Naomi messing with his brain I am worried about what damage she could have done to his brain. She messed with Angel's as a profession, but a human's brain is much more delicate, she could have done serious damage to his brain, he says he feels raw. He is also gone back to sleep. I am okay, I don't care about before, right now I am simply worried about Dean.

After sending the message I put my phone on the side table and carefully stripped Dean of his clothes, putting them in his laundry basket so I could wash them later. I gently climbed back into bed with Dean and pulled the covers over the both of us, Dean pulled me close to him. I closed my eyes and despite being tired I couldn't force myself to fall asleep, as much as I wanted to. I couldn't stop studying Dean's face, I softly prayed to Chuck that the damage would be minimal and everything would be okay but with our luck things wouldn't turn out that way. It wasn't long before I felt a spark of energy fill the room, I knew without looking up Chuck was in the room. I closed my eyes and bit my lip, "You let her mess with Dean's mind father."

Chuck sighed a bit, "No Castiel, I had no idea what she was doing. I have not even been on Earth lately I was dealing with other things. Let me see what I can do for Dean."

I looked up at him, "We both know healing his mind will not matter, a human's mind is more delicate. She could have killed him!" I couldn't help but be angry with him for not stopping Naomi.

Chuck smiled, "Castiel I created humans, their minds have grown more delicate then I originally designed, however I can fix it much better then just healing."

I closed my eyes and let out a deep breath, "I'm sorry father, a lot has gone on recently and I am afraid at the damage Naomi could have done…"

Chuck nodded, "When you prayed to me and I came back to Earth I was made aware."

Chuck gently touched Dean's forehead and closed his eyes, I watched his face hoping to see something that would tell me if he could help Dean but he showed no emotion. Finally he opened his eyes and I asked, "So can you do anything?"

At first he hesitated, but finally Chuck nodded, "I cannot completely reverse the damage Naomi has done, but I can fix most of it. He may not return to complete normalcy but For the most part it should be fine."

I relaxed a little, it wasn't prefect but it was better than I had thought, I nodded slowly, "Thank you Father for your help."

While Dean slept Chuck fixed most of the damage Naomi had caused to his brain, I knew there was still damage but it was mostly all taken care of. After a short discussion with Chuck, Sam knocked on the door. I softly said, "Come in".

Sam walked in and smiled a little, "Hey, Gabe said he sensed Chuck in here. Was Chuck able to fix Dean?"

I nodded, "There is still some damage and we won't know til he wakes up the next time but he should be doing much better though."

Sam's shoulder's relaxed some, "Good, well you should get some sleep to Cas, I imagine it'll be a while before Dean is up with everything that has happened so you should try to sleep."

I gave him a soft nod but was more focused on Dean, soon Sam left and I settled more into the bed. Thankfully it didn't take me much longer to fall asleep and I slept most of the night, until I felt Dean fighting against my arms around him. I woke to see Dean was in a full blown panic attack and trying desperately to get free, I let him go and he practically jumped out of bed and was on his hands and knees on the floor. I quickly got up and went to his side, he was still struggling to breathe so I gently rubbed small circles on his back. "Shhh Dean, deep breaths. You're going to be okay you just have to breath babe."

Dean suddenly covered his mouth and tried to get up but he wasn't fast enough and he vomited, mostly on the floor but some did get on me. I simply grabbed a towel to wipe myself off quickly and laid it on the floor and Dean was breathing better but he was sobbing pretty hard still, I carefully wrapped my arms around him and since he didn't fight I pulled him close to me. I gently ran my hands through his hair trying to help soothe him, thankfully it didn't take to much longer before he was starting to calm down. Without saying anything I helped him stand and went to our bathroom, for the first half of me bathing him he didn't react, just stared at the wall. As I finished though he started touching my arms and chest gently, but he stayed quiet, once he was clean and calmed down I smiled up at him. Dean wrapped his arms around me and closed his eyes, leaning his head against mine, after a few seconds Dean started kissing me. Slowly, passionately, and tenderly he kissed me like he had never kissed me before and it practically made my heart stop. As Dean kissed me I felt his hands roaming along my body before all of a sudden, he pushed me away and grabbed his head yelling, "SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP!"

 _ **((Okay Guys! This is the last chapter I have right now. Going to work on more, like I said before Idk how to end this but I love writing it. I hope you guys are enjoying! Please follow and favorite. Also leave me a review and let me know what ya think. The support means the world to me.))**_


	28. Chapter 28

**Dean's POV**

The voice in the back of my head was telling me how much I didn't deserve Cas, I tried to ignore it by kissing him but the more I kissed him the louder the voice got. Finally, I pushed Cas off and grabbed my head, covering my ears "SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP!" I didn't realize I was down on the floor until I felt Cas put his arms around me and rub my back. I closed my eyes, I didn't want to cry, I was tired of crying. _You are weak, the_ _piece_ _of shit that doesn't deserve someone like Cas. He used to be a fucking angel and you ruined that_ _._ I whimpered a little, deep down I knew that Cas loved me, and he liked being a human, but right now all I could think about is how right the voice is. It took a few minutes before I registered Cas was talking to me. "It's okay Dean, it's okay. I've got you okay, I'm going to be here for you Dean, I will always be here for you."

I wrapped my arms around Cas tightly, I knew I was clinging to him desperately but I couldn't force myself to care about how desperate I was being. Normally I wouldn't do this but something was different right now, the voice in my head had always been there, but it was never this loud, never this obvious. I almost didn't hear someone knocking on the bathroom door, Cas reached up to turn the shower off and shouted, "Yes?"

Sam's voice was on the other side of the door, "Dean? I heard yelling. Is everything okay?"

I couldn't make myself answer, Cas answered for me, "Not quite Sam. However right now we need to get dressed, we will come out and talk to you in a few minutes."

I heard Sam hesitate but finally, he said, "Alright, I'll be in the library."

Cas looked down at me and smiled gently, "Come on Dean, we should get dressed."

I nodded a little, Cas got out first and grabbed towels for the both of us, after handing me one so I could dry off he went into our bedroom to get clothes for the two of us. I dried myself off before slowly standing up, _Cas is getting tired of your shit._ I closed my eyes taking a deep breath and ignoring it for now. Once I was up I went into the bedroom to see Cas half-dressed and that he had laid clothes out for me. I put my clothes on and then looked at Cas who was watching me, and I could see the worry in his eyes, I went to him and wrapped my arms around his waist. Cas kissed me softly and rubbed my back gently, "Before we go talk to Sam do you wish to explain to me what that was?"

I sighed a little and looked away from Cas, "There has always been this voice in the back of my head, telling me how shit I am. When I was a teenager it was loud but I learned to ignore it. It got pretty quiet… W..when I was kissing you it was telling me how shitty I am and it just kept getting louder… I'm sorry Cas… I am damaged goods. You deserve so much better, I am worthless."

Cas hooked his finger under my chin and made me look at him, he smiled but it was a sad smile. "Dean you are wonderful, and I have loved you since the moment I laid my hand on your soul in hell. You are so amazing and I could not imagine things being any different… I love that I can be married to you because you amaze me with your strength. I was angry when I found you in bed with Naomi, but I know how much you love me. I know how hard things are right now, and the voice in your head is louder because of what Naomi did to you. Please do not think for one second I will let you cast me aside because you think I deserve better, being with you is all I want in my life."

I felt my shoulder sink and I hugged Cas tightly, the voice was quiet for now and I closed my eyes tightly. Finally, I pulled away and Cas smiled at me, this time it was a happier smile, I took a deep breath, "We should go talk to Sam before he tries barging in here."

Cas smiled and nodded, "Yes Dean,"

As we walked out to the library Cas took my hand and I smiled and held his hand tightly. When we got to the library Sam was sitting there with Gabe talking softly, part of me wanted to turn around and hide from all of this, but Cas seemed to sense that and put his hand on my shoulder and gently whispered, "It's okay Dean, Sam is worried about you and he wants to be there for you"

I nodded a bit and still clinging to Cas's hand I sat down at the table across from Sam and Cas sat next to me, still holding my hand. It took me a second to look up to meet Sam's eyes, and it nearly made me break down because even though he was grown up, I could still see the little boy who looked up to me, the little boy who loved me. Sam softly said, "I won't make you talk to me about things Dean, but I do want you to because I'm worried…"

Gabe looks at Cas, "Maybe we should let the Winchester's talk alone Cassie"

Cas starts to argue until I look at him and nod, "It's okay Cas. If I need you I'll have Sammy come and get you okay?"

Cas hesitated but nodded and kissed my cheek, "We'll be in the kitchen."

I nodded a little and smiled and watched Cas go with the Gabe to the kitchen, once he was gone I felt my confidence fade but I knew I needed to talk to Sam about things. I closed my eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath to gather myself before I steeled myself. Finally, I looked at Sam, "I hear Dad's voice in the back of my head, it's been there since I was maybe 10, telling me how awful I was and stuff like that. It got worse when I was a teenager… it's part of the reason I dropped out of High School. It got easier to ignore as I grew up, when I first fell for Cas it was pretty loud but the last few years I haven't heard his voice at all…"

I explained everything to Sam and after a few minutes he got up, and made me get up as well, pulling me into a tight hug. "I'm sorry Dad put so much pressure on you that you started hearing his voice all the time…"

I closed my eyes fighting the tears, I had never told Sam any of this because I still had to protect him even though he was capable enough to protect himself. Now though I was getting to the point where I knew he wanted to help me to.

 **((Okay Guys! Here is a new chapter for you guys, I still have no idea where this will be ending so I am just gunna keep writing until I figure it out. Anyways, please if you are enjoying this Follow and Favorite. If you want to leave me a review to let me know what you think please do, the reviews mean the world to me!))**


	29. Chapter 29

**Gabe's POV**

I walked into the kitchen and waited for Cas, once he was in the kitchen I sat down at the table and looked at him, "Talk to me Cassie, are you doing okay?"

Cas sighed a little and his shoulder's sagged, "I do not know how to answer that question brother. I have so many emotions and I do not wish to put any of it on Dean right now because he needs me to be there for him but…"

Cas dropped his head so it was laying on the table and even though he wasn't making any noise his body was shaking with sobs. I reached out and rubbed his back gently, "It's okay Castiel, you can come to me to get things out. I know things are hard right now with everything that is going on and I am really sorry that this happening brother. I wish things could go back to normal but for the Winchesters, this is kinda the norm."

Cas started to calm down and sighed heavily, "Things were easier when I was an angel, I could manage my emotions much more easily, I mean it been almost a year and a half since I became human and I am still so shitty at it."

I shook my head, "First of all normal humans are born, and it takes them about 18 years to figure out the world. Therefore you are still just technically a baby, Dad may have regulated stuff when you first became human but that doesn't make this any easier baby brother. You have time to figure everything out Cas, so far I would say you are doing pretty damn good okay. Now secondly, I know you miss being an angel, I get it, I know I wasn't completely human but I hid as a human for a couple years, suppressing my grace to the point I was feeling emotions and things so I get it. I know it's not fair for me to say that though because I am still an angel. No matter what happens Castiel I will be here for you, I wasn't the greatest when you were a fledgling but I care about you."

Cas looked up at me, "Brother when I was a fledgling I looked up to you, when you left that is when I was angry with you but as a fledgling I loved you."

I looked at Cas and smiled a little, "Does that mean you don't love me anymore?" I made a pouty face making Cas roll his eyes.

"No brother that is not what I meant and you know it."

I smirked and then sat back down, "I guess so. When was the last time you actually ate Cas?"

Cas frowned a little, "I don't really remember."

I sighed and used my grace to make food appear in front of him, it was his favorite type of burger, he ate half of it before he looked like he was going to be sick. It's probably been a few days since he has had anything substantial in his stomach. "Easy Cas, take it slow"

Cas groaned, pushing the plate away and holding his stomach. After a few minutes, he took a deep breath and was about to say something when Sam came in, "Hey Cas… Dean's having a panic attack, I tried to calm him down but he told me to come get you."

Cas nodded and got up and went into the library to calm Dean down, I sighed a little before looking at Sam who looked stressed out. I took Sam's hand and pulled him close to me, "Hey… why don't we go to our room and you let me get things off your mind?"

Sam smiled a little but shook his head, "I'm up for laying in bed but I'm not really in the mood babe. I'm sorry…"

I shook my head, "Don't be, I just wanted to cheer you up, I hate seeing my Moose look so down. Come on let's go to bed and let our brothers figure things out for themselves."

Sam nodded and we walked to his room, once we were in his room with the door shut we both stripped down to our boxers. I let Sam get in bed first and then I crawled behind him and kissed the back of his neck softly, drawing out soft hums of pleasure from Sam. "I love you, Gabriel,"

I smiled, "I love you too Sam. Now close your pretty eyes and get some rest." Instead of replying Sam just nodded, it only took a few minutes before his breathing evened out and there were soft snores coming from him. I used my grace to check over everyone in the bunker and while I felt Dean's fear it had subsided significantly so I knew Cas had calmed him down. I watched over Sam as he slept and while I normally hated the silence it was comforting because I could just think to myself. Part of me wished I could make Cas an angel again but I knew that wouldn't solve things. I sat quietly for a while before I felt a strong spark of energy and I was surprised by it but I knew it was my Father, I hadn't spoken to him since Cas' accident.

I looked up at him and sighed, "Hey Dad. To what do I owe the pleasure?"

Chuck sighed a bit, "I wanted to speak with you, do you mind coming with me for a few minutes so we may speak?"

I nodded gently and then used my grace moved from under Sam without waking him, and then looked at Chuck, "Where are we going?"

Without saying anything Chuck snapped his fingers and we were in an empty bar, "My favorite place. Anyways, we need to discuss Castiel and Dean."

I studied his face, hoping I could figure out where he was going with this but unfortunately he was showing nothing. Finally I replied, "Okay… about what?"

. Chuck sighed, "I wanted to get your opinion since you are so close and you are involved with Sam."

I narrowed my eyes, "You want my opinion? Since when?"

Chuck rolled his eyes, "now is not the time Gabriel, anyways, I was considering restoring Castiel's grace, because they want children of their own and his grace can allow a nephillim to come into being."

I widened my eyes, "What? You told us never to consort with humans and allow Nephilim to come into being. You told us they were abominations,"

Chuck nodded, "I told you that because Nephilim are almost the most powerful thing in this universe. Their power rivals my own, you know I have allowed a few Nephilim to come into being and allowed them to live. I know that Castiel and Dean are capable enough to raise the Nephilim to do good"

I watched him closely, part of me wanted to ask if he would allow me to have a child of my own, ever since the birth of Cain and Abel I had wanted to raise my own children, without me saying anything Chuck said, "I want you to talk with Sam before you will be allowed to have your own children Gabriel."

I bit my lip and nodded, and then I nodded. "Castiel would be happy, not just to be an angel again but being able to have their own children I know would make the both of them happier, and they could use it right now."

Chuck nodded and without saying anything else he snapped and I was back in Sam's room, I closed my eyes and laughed. Then I got into bed with Sam and watched him sleeping, excited for him to wake up so we could talk about this.

 **((Okay Guys! Wasn't planning this but decided to do this as I was writing, sorry its so long but hope you guys enjoy! Thank you all so much for reading. It means so much. Please follow and favorite. Leave me a Review and let me know what you guys think of this chapter!))**


	30. Chapter 30

Cas's POV

After Sam came to get me and I went to Dean and moved the chair out some and kneeled down in front of him taking his hands, his breathing was labored as he fought off a panic attack. I made him put his head between his knees and rubbed his back, "Shhh it's okay Dean… I'm right here love"

After a few minutes Dean took a deep breath and looked up at me, "I'm sorry babe…"

I shook my head and kissed his head, "You have nothing to be sorry for Dean. Come on let's go for a walk outside okay, get some fresh air."

Dean shook his head, "Can we just go back to bed, I feel like crap…"

I nodded and got up, "Of course Dean. While we are up do you want something to eat?"

Dean made a face but nodded, "I don't really feel like eating but I know I should."

I smiled a little and nodded, "Gabriel got me some food, I didn't eat much if you would like what is left."

Dean nodded, "That's fine Cas." I helped him stand and took him to the kitchen where the burger and fries were sitting still warm. Dean sat down and ate most of it before he threw it out. Without saying anything he motioned his head towards our room. I nodded, I followed him to our room and stayed quiet letting him be in his head for now. After a few minutes he stripped down to his boxers and laid down in bed turning the television on, I left my shirt on but also took my pants off and laid next to Dean. Dean gently wrapped his arms around me and that's when I noticed his skin was warmer than usual and I pulled away to look at his face and noticed he was sweating a little. I frowned at him, "Dean…"

Dean looked over at me, "Yeah Cas?"

"Do you feel okay? You seem to be running a fever" I said softly as I watched him.

Dean shook his head a little, "Like I said I feel like crap… Do you mind if I take a nap?"

I shake my head and move so he can actually lay down, "Do you want me to stay?"

Dean looked at me and nodded, "Please don't go."

I stroked his hair gently, "I will stay right here Dean."

Dean nodded and closed his eyes, it only took a few minutes for him to fall asleep, but as I watched him sleep his sweating got worse and his skin grew hotter, I had never seen Dean sick before but I had a feeling he was sick now. I carefully got up and grabbed a wet washcloth and ran it under cold water, I had seen people on TV do this before so I hoped it helped. I squeezed most of the water out of it and sat next to Dean, gently dabbing his forehead with the washcloth and he relaxed a little. I kept doing it softly trying to keep his fever down to the best of my ability, I was so distracted I almost missed the flutter of wings but I did notice the spark of energy. I looked up to see Chuck standing there, "Hello Castiel."

I took a deep breath steadying myself, I was still angry with him for everything but there had to be a reason he was here so I nodded gently. "Hello, Father… thank you for fixing the damage Naomi did to Dean. He is still struggling but I think it is better than it could have been."

Chuck nodded and looked at Dean, "He has caught the stomach flu since you are human Castiel you should be careful."

I shook my head a little, "Dean needs me right now. Did you need something Father?"

Chuck sighed a little but nodded, "Do you mind leaving Dean so we may have a discussion?"

I looked at Dean and then shook my head. "I'd prefer to stay with Dean, I told him I would stay with him no matter what. Please Father"

Chuck nodded and sat at Dean's desk, "I had a discussion with Gabriel a few minutes ago and there is something I have been considering since I came back to Earth. I am aware of your desire to have children with Dean, at the moment your choice is adoption. However, there could be another choice Castiel."

I frowned and shook my head, "The only other option would be if I was an Angel Father and you told us we could never create Nephilim."

Chuck nodded, "I told you all that to scare you and to keep you from creating any because too many angels would use that power to rule Heaven. However not you or Dean, if you were an angel I believe that any Nephilim you create you would raise for good."

I stared at him for a minute before looking at Dean, if I was understanding him correctly he was suggesting making me an angel again so I could have a child with Dean. "Are you implying what I think you are Father?"

When I looked back up at him his face held no emotion but there was a softness to it, and he nodded. "If you wish, I will make you an angel again and you can have children with Dean. However, there is something I want to ask, if that happens I ask for you to call me when you feel the Nephilim within your grace because you will need extra protection. The rest of your brothers and sisters may not take to this news very kindly."

I bit my lip and took a deep breath, "After years of being around the Winchester's I have learned there is usually a catch. Why make me an angel? It can't just be so that I can have a child, Father."

Chuck scrubbed his hand over his face and sighed, "Because while you have adapted well to being human I know you envy Gabriel, I know you miss being able to fly and do things like heal Dean when he is sick. I care Castiel that is why I want to restore your grace. You and Gabriel are my favorite because you enveloped humanity and while others do love humanity they do not feel the same you or Gabriel do. When Anna fell from Heaven I wasn't angry at her, I was happy because she was doing what I truly wanted, she was embracing Humanity. In my absence, you learned things differently than your older brothers because I was gone before you truly knew who I was. I didn't want things to be like this in Heaven. I am trying to fix it and that's why I want to restore your grace Because I want to make an example of you and your brother. It will take time for the angels to learn new ways which is why I need you to pray for me when you feel the child within your grace because after I leave here I am calling a mandatory meeting in heaven for all angels except you and Gabriel and I will be locking the gates. The only way I will know is if you pray to me."

I let myself relax some and looked at Dean, then nodded, "Okay Father. Please, restore my

Chuck nodded and stood up, walked over to me and laid his hand on my shoulder, "I'm sorry but since you are already alive and I am only rebuilding your grace from inside you this going to hurt Castiel."

I nod gently, "I assumed as much."

Chuck nodded and he began to rebuild my grace, I couldn't stop myself from screaming in agony as it felt like I was burned inside out, I heard Dean wake up and Gabriel bust in but it seemed far off, I felt the power of heaven and my wings being restored to their former glory. Suddenly everything was fine but before I could say anything to Dean, Gabriel or Sam I blacked out.

 _ **((Ahhh okay guys! New Chapter! Hope you find this fulilling. Next chapters going to be from Dean's POV. Anyways thank you guys all for reading so far it means the world to me. just so you know I may have an idea where to end this but I don't know if I actually will end it yet. Anyways thank you, please Follow, Favorite. And if you have any comments please please leave a review!))**_


	31. Chapter 31

**Dean's POV**

I was fast asleep until I heard Cas screaming, I was sitting up before I realized I was awake and I saw Chuck standing there holding Cas' shoulder and there was a glow emitting from him I recognized as Grace, between my fever and just waking up I was completely confused. Suddenly Gabriel bust in with Sam right behind him, I stared at them for a mere second before turning my attention back to Cas who was still screaming. Suddenly the glow burst through the room and when it dissipated Chuck was gone and Cas was out cold on the bed, I moved closer to Cas and grabbed him, shaking him some to try and wake him until Gabe stopped me. "Dean he's okay, just give him a couple hours"

I looked at Gabe and finally asked the question that was hanging and in my mind as well as Sam's, "Did he just do what I think he did?"

Gabe smiled a little and nodded, "Yep. Cassie is a full-blown angel again."

I looked down at Cas, and while I knew he wanted to be an angel and he still loved me, part of me wondered if this meant he was going to go back to Heaven and leave me. I didn't realize I was panicking until Sam put his hand on my shoulder, "Dean breathe for a second. Gabe seems to know whats going on so let's let him explain."

Gabe nodded a little at Sam then looked at me. "We all know Cas has missed being an angel, as much as he does like being human in his heart and the memories he has, he would always miss being an angel. He doesn't blame you, I know that. Part of the reason Dad gave Cassie here his wings back is so you guys can have kids. Nephilim to be more exact."

Sam eyes widened and he interrupted Gabe, "Wait, what? Didn't he like call Nephilim abominations. Plus I mean Cas is in a male vessel."

Gabe nodded, "He warned most angels against creating Nephilim because of the power a Nephilim has, but he thinks Dean and Cassie can raise any kids they have to be good. Cas may be inhabiting a male vessel but his grace is genderless and can carry Nephilim, obviously, when it comes to giving birth he would have to have a C-section. That bit will be a bit hard because I'd have to cut into his grace but still it's entirely possible, of course, Cas will have to show some part of his grace during intercourse so it can take hold."

Sam seemed to be in shock and I was too but at the same time, I was excited at the possibilities. "S…so I can have kids with Cas?"

Gabe looked back at me and nodded, "Yep."

Sam started to remove his hand from my shoulder before he realizes how warm I was and he frowned, "Dean are you running a fever?"

I groaned a little nodded, "I think so… It's fine just need to get some rest."

Gabe rolled his eyes and put his fingers on my forehead and I could feel the familiar warmth as he healed me. "There now you're fine."

I rolled my eyes at him, "Thank you Gabe, and thank you for explaining things to me."

Gabe nodded a little, "No problem-o Dean. Now like I said he will probably be out for a few hours, his grace was restored from within his vessel and that had to have been pretty painful if his screaming was any indication."

I nod and look at Cas, who looks completely content despite having screamed his lungs out only a few minutes ago. I ran my fingers through his hair and kissed his forehead softly, I barely noticed Gabe and Sam leaving. I knew there was something wrong with Sam because I could feel the tension when he was standing next to me but right now I was more worried about Cas. I stayed with him for the few hours despite hearing Gabriel and Sam arguing about something. I had almost started to fall asleep when I felt Cas stir next to me, he groaned and sat up, rubbing at his eyes a little. "Welcome back to the land of the living"

Cas turned to me and smiled a little, "Dean… I should probably explain."

I shook my head, "No need to, Gabe already explained, Angel."

Cas tilted his head a little as he studied my face, "Are you okay with this?"

I smiled a little and nodded, "For two reasons, one because it makes you happy. Two because it means we can have kids of our own. But there is one thing you have to promise me Cas."

Cas nodded gently, "Of course Dean, Anything."

I took his hand tightly and looked into his eyes, "No disappearing without telling me where you are going? Please."

Cas smiled just a bit and nodded, "I don't plan on leaving you at all Dean. Father said he is calling all angels except for Gabriel and me back to Heaven and temporarily shutting the gates to get things back in order. Speaking of which I should inform Gabriel."

I nodded, "Sure, but I think him and Sammy are arguing over something. Or at least they were."

Cas nodded and stood up, I got dressed and followed him, we went to Sam's room and Sam was sitting on his bed with his head in his hands so I sent Cas to find Gabriel while I went to sit next to Sam. I laid my hand on Sam's shoulder, "Talk to me, Sammy, why were you and Gabe screaming at each other."

Sam looked up at me with tears in his eyes, "He wants kids Dean. And I told him no without a second thought and Gabe asked me why… I didn't know how to explain and he stormed off, I don't know where he went but… I mean how do I tell him that I gave up on that dream the moment Jess died. I mean I let myself hope with Amelia but… it got ripped away from me too. Every time I have gotten close to that something happens Dean. I just can't…"

I sighed a little and rubbed his back a little, "Sammy you deserve to have a family, and I know you gave up after Jess and Amelia but I never imagined I'd get any of it. I didn't imagine having a husband let alone the idea of having kids. I mean raising you was the closest I thought I'd get Sam. But do you have any idea how excited I am to get the chance to have kids of my own with Cas? Gabe is offering you that opportunity because he loves you and wants that with you. And he can't go back to heaven for a little while anyways cause apparently Chuck is calling the rest of the angels except for Gabe and Cas back to heaven and shutting the gates for a bit. So I am pretty sure it'll be okay Sammy."

Sam bit his lip and I saw the hope in his eyes, "This is actually happening?"

I smiled and nodded, "As long as Gabe isn't too pissed at you? Yeah, Sammy. Now if I were you I'd talk to your angel."

Sam rubs his hands over his face and nods, "Thanks, Jerk."

I laughed a bit, "You're welcome Bitch"

Just as I was about to say more I looked up to see Gabe standing in the door with his arms folded over his chest, I got up and nodded to him as I left. Cas was waiting for me by our door and opened it for me. After he followed me in I felt some weird energy and looked at Cas for an explanation. "I put a sound barrier up so that our brothers do not have to worry about us hearing their argument. Also for another reason."

I smirked a little and stepped closer to him, "Oh really?"

Cas snapped his fingers in a very Gabriel fashion and we were both naked, I smirked and pulled him closer to me and kissed his lips. He pulled me to the bed and pulled me on top of me kissing me fervently with a need I hadn't felt from him since our first time. I went to grab the lube so I could prep him but he stopped me, "No need to prep me Dean. I'm an angel again, so please just fuck me already."

I slowly nodded and spread his legs just a bit pressing my hard cock against his hole before kissing him as I pushed in, once I was fully inside him I had to pause because he was so tight. Cas cupped my cheek and panted a little, "Would you like to see my wings, Dean?"

My eyes widened and I nodded, "Yes… I'd love to Cas." Then it hit me that meant he was going to show part of his Grace and he was trying to get knocked up right now so before he could I pulled away some, "Are you sure you want to do this right now Cas? I mean… you just became an angel again?"

Cas smiled a little, "I am positive Dean. If you are anyways, I mean we do not have to."

I smiled and kissed him deeply, "Of course I want this. But I mean I thought if I looked at your grace I'd go blind or something?"

Cas shook his head, "It's complicated but you'll be okay. Now if you don't start fucking me Dean Winchester I am going to take over."

Images of Cas riding me with his wings out popped into my head and made my cock give an interested twitch. Cas tilted his head and narrowed his eyes at me, "You want me to don't you Dean. To fuck myself on your cock with my wings out, show you I have all the power?"

Cas' voice with what he was saying made my cock throb more and Cas smirked before flipping us over and he started fucking himself on my cock, I groaned and grabbed his hips for leverage and thrust with him. I was so lost in the pleasure I almost missed the raven black wings looming over me protruding from Cas' back. I felt myself get ever closer to the edge and I growled and fucked up into Cas harshly. I cried out as I cam hard deep inside Cas, cumming so hard I saw stars and nearly blacked out. I collapsed into the bed and hugged Cas close to me shaking hard for a few minutes, I gently reached up and touched one of his wings making Cas shiver a little. "I love you so much Cas, and I am happy you can be an angel again. I really am because I know you have missed it."

Cas nodded a little and gently nuzzled his nose into my neck and I could feel him take a deep breath before pulling away to look at me, "I'm sorry I didn't talk to you about it. I should have but I just wanted to be an angel again so badly Dean."

I nodded a little and stroked my fingers softly through his wing, "I know Cas, it's okay I'm not mad I promise."

Cas relaxed more and then kissed my lips softly, "I should put my wings away, Dean."

I gave him a gentle nod and his wings were gone just as quickly as they had shown up.

 **((Okay guys! Sorry for the half-assed sex scene. Hope you guys enjoy the chapter anyways. Please follow and favorite if you want to read more. Also if you have any questions or comments leave me a review so I know what you think. The reviews make me feel better about the story and let's me know you guys are enjoying it! Thank you all for reading! It means the world to me!))**


	32. Chapter 32

_**Sam's POV**_

After making sure Dean and Cas were okay I walked with Gabriel to our room and part of me was in shock, I had always heard that Nephilim were abominations but now Gabe was saying they weren't. When we got back to our room Gabe looked at me, "So Sammy… What do you think?"

I narrowed my eyes at him, "What do I think about what Gabe?"

Gabe frowned a little, "Kids… I mean Dad said I could carry a child too."

I scoffed and shook my head, "No Gabe."

When I looked up at Gabe again his face held anger and confusion. "What do you mean No Sam?"

I shook my head, "I mean no Gabe. We aren't having kids."

Gabe scoffed angrily, "Oh you just say no and that's it, end of discussion?"

I stood up and got in his face, "Yes Gabriel Yes. I don't want kids."

Gabe rolled his eyes and ran his hand through his hair, "That is bullshit, Sam. Why? Why don't you want kids?"

I shook my head, I didn't know how to explain to him that I had given up on the idea years ago. Gabe stared at me and I could see the raw emotion in his eyes, "Fine. You know what screw off Sam. You can call me when you get over whatever bullshit this is." Gabe turned around and walked out before I could say anything else. I bit my lip and sat at the end of my bed, putting my face in my hands and I let myself cry. I had gotten so close to having a family with Jess, and then Amelia, but each time it was ripped out from under me. I sobbed a little before I heard Dean telling Cas to go find Gabe before he came over to me and laid his hand on my shoulder, "Talk to me Sammy, why were you and Gabe screaming at each other?"

I looked up at Dean with tears still in my eyes and choked out, "He wants kids Dean. And I told him no without a second thought and when Gabe asked me why… I didn't know how to explain and he stormed off, I don't know where he went but… I mean how do I tell him that I gave up on that dream the moment Jess died. I mean I let myself hope with Amelia but… it got ripped away from me too… Every time I have gotten close to that something happens Dean. I just can't…"

Dean sighed a little and rubbed my back a bit, "Sammy you deserve to have a family, and I know you gave up after Jess and Amelia but I never imagined I'd get any of it. I didn't imagine having a husband let alone the idea of having kids. I mean raising you was the closest I thought I'd get Sam. But do you have any idea how excited I am to get the chance to have kids of my own with Cas? Gabe is offering you that opportunity because he loves you and wants that with you. And he can't go back to Heaven for a little anyways cause apparently Chuck is calling the rest of the angels except for Gabe and Cas back to heaven and shutting the gates for a bit. So I am pretty sure it'll be okay Sammy."

I bit my lip and I could feel hope bubbling up in my chest as I choked out, "This is actually happening?"

Dean smiled and nodded, "As long as Gabe isn't too pissed at you? Yeah, Sammy. Now if I were you I'd talk to your angel."

I scrubbed my hands over my face and nodded, "Thanks, Jerk"

Dean laughed a bit and retorted, "You're welcome Bitch."

Dean looked as if he was going to say more till he looked up, making me look as well to see Gabriel standing in the door with his arms folded over his chest, all emotion was gone from his face and I knew he was pissed. Dean got up and nodded to Gabriel as he left, once Dean was gone Gabe stepped in and shut the door, for a minute he just stared at the door before finally he turned to me and said, "You don't get to just say no without thinking about how I feel." When I went to apologize he shook his head, "No you are going to listen to Sam. I was there when humans were first created when Adam and Eve first had sex, and when Eve got pregnant with Cain, and then Able. I was there and all I thought was I want that. I want to be able to have a child of my own, other angels were disgusted and didn't understand but I saw the beauty. I have lived for eons, Sam! And since those two tiny humans were born I wanted that! So you don't get to just say no!"

Without saying anything I stood up and hugged Gabriel, the moment my arms were around him he started to cry. I hugged him tighter in my arms and nodded, "I know Gabe, I know. I'm going to tell you why I said no, but only because you deserve to know. I know you know about Jess when she died I was getting ready to ask her to marry me, and she was it for me. It took me a long time to get over her and then we met you. And I fell in love with you, and I figured no kids but I thought I would love you til the day I died and then you just had to sacrifice yourself to Lucifer. I gave up, I was broken and damaged, but then I found someone else. And I fought so hard not to love her I didn't realize I had already fallen, and then her husband came back. Gabriel the day you died by Lucifer's hands is the day I truly gave up on having anything close to a family, and then you just suddenly tell me that we can have kids. I freaked out, I know I shouldn't have just said no but it scared the hell out of me Gabe… The idea of letting myself hope that things could be okay and I could have a family with you… it scared me."

Gabe wiped at his eyes before looking at me, "I'm sorry Sammy…"

I smiled and kissed him gently, "I'm sorry to Gabe. Ask me again?"

Gabe's eyes brightened a little and he nodded, "Sammy… what do you think about us having kids?"

I decided to tease him just a little and bit my lip pretending to think before smiling at him, "You truly want this?"

Gabe nodded, "More than candy"

I laughed a little and kissed him, "Well then the answer is I couldn't imagine having kids with anyone else."

Gabe smiled and wrapped his arms around me tightly, "I love you so much, Sammy"

I smiled and kissed his head, "I love you too Gabriel, I mean it. So you can't just disappear on me or go sacrificing yourself okay?"

Gabe rested his forehead against mine and nodded, "I promise Sammy. Just me and you and any kids we may have"

I closed my eyes and imagined what our kids may look like, I was so in my head I didn't notice Gabe was taking off my shirt until he started playing with my nipples. I gasped a little and narrowed my eyes at him, "Really?"

Gabe smirked, "We could have some great makeup sex?"

I grinned a bit and pulled him closer to me, "Sounds like a plan to me."

Gabe kissed me and slowly walked me back to the bed and making me sit down before he climbed into my lap straddling my legs softly and kissing lightly against my neck.

 _ **Gabe's POV**_

After we double checked on Dean and Cas Sam and I walked back to his room, I noticed there was a tenseness to Sam but I hoped it didn't have to do with the idea of Cas and Dean getting to have kids. Once we were back in our room I shut the door and looked at Sam, "So Sammy… What do you think?"

Sam narrowed his eyes at me and tilted his head a bit, "What do I think about what Gabe?"

I frowned and bit my lip, "Kids… I mean… Dad said I could carry a child too."

Sam scoffed and shook his head, "No Gabe"

Sam's words cut into me like a knife and it took me a second to ask, "What do you mean no Sam?"

Sam shook his head and turned away from me, "I mean no Gabe. We aren't having kids"

I scoffed as anger bubbled up in my chest, "Oh you just say no and that's it? End of discussion"

Sam stood up and got in my face, "Yes Gabriel! Yes. I don't want kids"

I rolled my eyes and ran my hand through my hair to keep myself from snapping at him or lashing out too much. "That is bullshit, Sam. Why? Why don't you want kids?"

Sam shook his head and said nothing. I knew I could keep my emotions under check better but right now all I could think about was the fact that the person I loved wasn't even considering how I felt. I shook my head and looked away from Sam's eyes, "Fine. You know what screw off Sam. You can call me when you get over whatever bullshit this is!" I turned around and stormed out of his room slamming the door harshly. I went to the library and started to break down before I decided to go outside and take in the fresh air. I was seconds away from exploding when I felt Cas' energy next to me when I looked at Cas I could see he was concerned but he was staying quiet for now. I bit my lip and choked out, "He thinks that he can just say no to having kids and that is all there is! I have wanted children since the fucking creation of humanity and now the love of my fucking life tells me no! It's bullshit Castiel!"

Cas stayed quiet for a moment before he replied, "Did Sam explain why brother?"

I scoffed and shook my head, "No! He just said no and said that was it! He didn't even ask what I thought."

Cas stepped closer to me and laid his hand on my shoulder, "Brother do you know anything about Jessica or Amelia?"

I looked at Cas, I knew of Jess but I had no idea who Amelia was. "I mean I know Jessica but… whose Amelia?"

Cas led me to the bench and sat me down, "After your death, Samuel was crushed. He had a few one night stands, mostly when he was soulless but when Dean and I went to purgatory he ran over a dog and met a woman who was a veterinarian. He took in the dog, they started a relationship and I believe he had started to love her. Then her husband who had supposedly been dead came back because he was apparently taken in action. After that Sam had truly given up. I had never seen him show any interest in anyone again until you showed up as Luka. Brother Samuel has had his chances at family taken away from him. You offering it now? When you are a fully functioning angel, and not to mention you have already left him once at fault or not. I understand why you are hurt brother but I believe Sam is scared and you need to tell him and explain to him."

I closed my eyes and burying my face in my hands, letting myself cry a bit. "I just… he didn't even think Cassie… he just…it wasn't fair."

Cas nodded gently, "I know brother, however, you did not give him much chance to explain. You do need to explain to him how you feel however you should allow him to explain as well. You two need to discuss things rather than yell at each other."

I ran my hand through my hair and looked at Cas who had just a hint of a smile on his face, and I smiled and pushed him gently, "When'd you get all grown up Cassie?"

Cas looked confused for a moment before rolling his eyes and standing, "Anyways, I came out to inform you that Father is calling everyone back to heaven, however, he wants you and I to stay on Earth with Sam and Dean. He will be shutting the gates for a little while to fix the issues he has realized happened after he left."

I sighed softly and stood as well, "It's going to take him a while to fix those issues, but at least he is trying to fix things."

Cas nodded softly and we both walked back inside the bunker, Cas walked with me back to Sam's but before I went in he paused, "Brother, with Father wants us to pray to him and inform him when we feel a child within our grace so that he can protect us."

I smiled a little and nodded and then went into Sam's room, crossing my arms over my chest looking at Dean and Sam who looked calmer, Dean looked up at me first before Sam did. Dean stood and nodded to me as he left the room, I stepped in the door and shut the door, staring at the door for a minute before I turned around to Sam and said, "You don't get to just say no without thinking about how I feel." Sam opened his mouth to say something before I shook my head cutting him off, "No you are going to listen to Sam. I was there when humans were first created, when Adam and Eve first had sex, and trust me that was weird to us angels. When Eve first got pregnant with Cain, and then Able I was there and all I thought was I want that. I want to be able to have a child of my own. Other angels were disgusted and didn't understand but I saw the beauty. I have lived for Eons Sam! And since those two tiny humans were born I wanted that! So you don't get to just say no!" I felt the anger in me rise as I talked. Without saying a word Sam stood up and wrapped his arms around me. I started crying the moment his arms were around me, and he hugged me tighter and nodded, "I know Gave, I know. I am going to tell you why I said no but only because you deserve to know. I know you know about Jess when she died I was getting ready to ask her to marry me, and she was it for me. It took me a long time to get over her and then we met you and I fell in love with you, and I figured no kids but I thought I could love you til the day I died and then you just had to sacrifice yourself to Lucifer. I gave up. I was broken and damaged, but then I found someone else. I fought so hard not to love her I didn't realize I had already fallen, and then her husband came back. Gabriel the day you died by Lucifer's hands is the day I truly gave up on having anything close to a family and then you just suddenly tell me that we can have kids. I freaked out, I know I shouldn't have just said no but it scared the hell out of me Gabe… The idea of letting myself hope that things could be okay and I could have a family with you… it scared me."

I wiped my eyes before I looked into Sam's eyes, "I'm sorry Sammy"

Sam smiled and kissed me softly, "I'm sorry to Gabe, Ask me again?"

I looked at him and smiled a bit, "Sammy… what do you think about us having kids"

Sam bit his lip and it made me nervous, before he smiled at me, "You truly want this?"

I smiled and nodded, "More than candy"

Sam laughed and kissed me again, "Well then the answer is I couldn't imagine having kids with anyone else."

I smiled and wrapped my arms around him tightly, "I love you so much, Sammy"

Sam smiled and kissed my head, "I love you to Gabriel, I mean it. So you can just disappear on me or go sacrificing yourself okay?"

I rested my forehead against Sam's head and nodded, "I promise Sammy, Just me and you and any kids we may have"

Sam closed his eyes and I could tell he was in his head so I unbuttoned his shirt and then started playing with one of his nipples, he gasped and narrowed his eyes at me, "Really?"

I smirked, "We could have some great make-up sex?"

Sam grinned and pulled me close to his chest again, "Sounds like a plan to me"

I kissed him and slowly pushed him back to the bed before making him sit down, I straddled his lap wrapped my legs around him before I began kissing gently along his neck. I smirked and bit gently just below his ear making Sam moan a bit. I smiled and started kissing him again before using my grace to make our clothes disappear. Sam pulled away and smirked, "You are so lazy"

I nodded a bit and smiled, "Yep. Now do you wanna have sex or not?"

Sam smiled and before I could say anything else he suddenly flipped us over and rubbed his cock against mine moaning out gently. I groaned gently and arched into him a bit, "Fuck Sammy don't tease me you asshole."

Sam smirked and leaned down and pressed his lips to mine before he put his hand between us to position his cock against my hole but suddenly I stopped him, "Sammy wait."

Sam paused and looked at me a little worried, "What's wrong babe?'

I bit my lip and second-guessed bringing up the possibility of me getting pregnant now. I felt Sam cup my cheek and smiled down at me, I took a deep breath and softly said, "What if I uh… I could get pregnant now you know… If you wanted to."

Sam studied my face for a minute before he said, "I'd love that Gabe but… I mean how would it work."

I relaxed a little before replying, "Well I have to let some of my grace out, it'd be easiest to show you my wings."

Sam looked at me, "I didn't think I could see your wings?"

I smirked, "I can make them fully manifest. Get off me for a second I'll show you, hun."

Sam pulled away and moved so he was just sitting on the bed. I stood up and closed my eyes before letting my wings manifest, I heard a soft gasp from Sam and smiled as opened my eyes. Sam was staring in awe at my three sets of golden wings. Sam stood up and reached his hand out to touch one of them before he paused and looked at me, I softly nodded and he gently ran his fingers through a few of the feathers in my upper set of wings. I shivered a little but smiled at Sam. He looked at me, "Your wings are just… I… why do you have three sets… I mean Cas just has one right?"

I smirked and folded my wings against my back, "Cas is just a seraph. You're dating an archangel babe"

He rolled his eyes at me and smiled before he kissed me again. Sam and I had mind-blowing wonderful make-up sex and after we both orgasmed we laid there panting and holding each other shaking. I ran my hand through Sam's sweat-soaked hair gently. Sam nuzzled his nose into my neck softly and looked up at me, "I love you, Gabriel."

I smiled a little and rubbed a hand down his back softly, "I love you to Sam"

 _ **((Okay guys! Long chapter cause I wanted this all to be in one so you guys could get both Sam and Gabes pov in one rather than separating it. Hope you guys enjoyed this! Sorry if it was too repetitive to do their different POVs but I felt like it was important to get that in this chapter. Please follow and favorite! And if you guys did like this chapter please leave me a review and let me know what you think because the reviews mean the world to me!))**_


	33. Chapter 33

**Cas's POV**

I gently stroked my hand through Dean's hair watching over him while he slept, Dean seemed to be doing somewhat better especially with the idea of us getting to have our own child however I couldn't help but worry about him. I was watching Dean's eyes moving under his eyelids as he dreamt when I felt Gabriel's grace outside the door and after double checking on Dean I gently stood and went outside to see Gabe standing there waiting on me, "Took you long enough Cassie."

I rolled my eyes at Gabriel, "What is it brother?"

Gabriel smiled, "Just wanted to check on you, and thank you for calming me down earlier."

I smiled gently, "I simply told you things you needed to hear brother. So did you and Sam talk?"

Gabriel smirked and without him saying anything I could tell they did more than that but listened to him, "Yeah, we uh… we tried. Idk if it took yet but yea. Did you and Dean-o?"

I felt myself blush a little however I nodded gently, "Yes, um Dean and I tried. I don't know if I am pregnant yet"

Gabe smiled, and I could see how happy he was, "So our kids will be close in age."

I nodded, "Assuming we are pregnant."

Gabe smiled then nudged at me, "Alright well go back and watch your human sleeping creeper."

I rolled my eyes and ignored Gabriel as I went back into our room to see Dean was sitting up and looked panicked so I quickly went to Dean's side, "Dean it's okay I'm right here."

Dean wrapped his arms tightly around me and I could feel him shaking, I rubbed his back gently and hugged him gently, "Sorry Dean, I was talking to Gabriel, I'm sorry"

Dean held onto me for a few minutes before he finally let go and wiped his face, "S…sorry I had a n…nightmare and then when I woke up you were gone… I didn't get a chance to even say your name when you came in… s… so you don't have anything to be sorry for Cas"

I nodded a little and kissed him gently, "You should go back to sleep Dean, it has only been a couple hours, I will stay here."

Dean paused before he shook his head, "I need to take a hot shower, I'll get some more sleep after okay."

I nodded and kissed his head, "Okay Dean, I will be in the library, pray to me when you are finished and I will come and lay down with you"

Dean nodded and took his boxers off before going into the bathroom, I stood up and went to the Library, the bunker was extremely quiet as I grabbed a book to read while Dean showered. As I was reading I could feel something off, I stood up and went around the bunker checking on everything before I went back to my room with Dean, I could hear the shower was still running so I knocked on the door gently, "Dean is everything okay?"

Dean instantly replied, "Yeah Cas. Is something wrong?"

I opened the door and looked at Dean, "I don't know, something feels off"

Dean turned off the shower and grabbed the towel wrapping it around his waist and coming over to me, "Any idea why?"

I shook my head, "No I just… something feels off…"

"Did you say something to Gabe? Maybe he feels it too" Dean asked while he went back into our room and put his boxers on.

I shook my head, "No I checked on everything else before I came to check on you."

Dean nodded, "Okay well why don't we go to Sammy's room and talk to him okay?"

I hesitated but then nodded and I saw Dean grab one of his knives putting it in the small of his back before he smiled at me, we went to Sam's room and instead of knocking I reached my grace out to Gabriel's I felt it brush his and knew he was coming so I moved back and waited patiently for Gabriel. After a couple of minutes Gabriel came out, "Sorry had a moose attached to me, everything okay Cassie?"

I bit my lip, "I feel as though something is off, and I cannot pinpoint what the problem is."

Gabe looked between me and Dean, "No I don't feel anything, hang on." Gabe closed his eye and I felt his grace reaching out over the whole bunker, before I could see his grace return to his body. Gabriel looked at me with narrowed eyes, "Cassie, focus on your own grace for a minute."

I frowned what Gabriel was telling me confused me, before I closed my eyes and focused on my own grace before I realized there was something growing from within my grace. I gasped and instantly opened my eyes, Gabriel had a small smile on his face. Dean looked between Gabriel and I before clearing his throat, "Okay I'm a human here. I don't have angel radio what am I missing."

It took me second to say anything as Gabriel nudged me, "You have to tell him Cassie."

I nodded and looked at Dean, "It worked Dean…"

Dean's face twisted in confusion before a sudden look of realization hit him and his eyes widened, "Wait… what? Really? I mean it was just last night how do you?"

I looked to Gabriel who I knew could explain better than I could, "Well Dean-O, two reasons, Cassies grace is a great source for the Nephilim to grow, so it won't take but maybe 3 months before Cassie is ready to have your kid. Also, the fact that grace is extremely sensitive so we can notice any differences rather easily."

Dean suddenly wrapped his arms around me and laughed, "Shit Cas! Oh my God I can't believe this babe."

I smiled and hugged him back, I could feel a sadness radiating from Gabriel and I kissed Dean, telling him to go back to our room before I turned to Gabriel who was forcing a smile, "Brother…"

Gabe shook his head, "No don't worry about me little bro, go enjoy it with Dean-o. I'll let dad know for you okay?"

I nodded gently, "Okay brother I will talk to father its fine. It will happen you just have to give it time."

Gabriel smiled then went back into Sam's room, I used my grace to appear in Dean's room and he turned to me and practically tackled me, "Oh my god Cas"

I laughed gently and hugged him tightly, "Speaking of God I need to let Chuck know, because of misconceptions Heaven sees Nephilim as abominations and they may attempt to locate us. Father said once I feel it I need to let him know so he can ward the bunker more and keep me and our child safe until he can fix the misconceptions that happened in his absence."

Dean nodded gently, "Of course, do you just need to pray to him or go up there."

"If I were to go up there the power of heaven could make the Nephilim grow more and make it come more apparent to the other angels." I replied softly.

Dean nodded a little, and then I closed my eyes and prayed to Chuck, 'Father, I can feel a Nephilim within my grace.'

When I opened my eyes again Dean was hugging me again, I felt him lay his head on my chest and I wrapped my arms around his waist. I was about to slide my hand down the back of Dean's pants when I felt Chuck's energy, so I pulled away from Dean. Dean turned with me keeping his hand in mine, Chuck looked between Dean and I, "Congratulation's Castiel. I have put powerful protections around the bunker to keep you and the child safe. I will keep Heaven locked until after you have the child, Gabriel should be able to assist you in the birth if he cannot all you will need to do is to pray to me."

I nod softly, "Yes Father. Thank you"

Chuck stepped forward and shook my hand before bringing me close and hugging me gently, "You are welcome son. Call if you need me."

I smiled gently before nodding a little, "Thank you."

Chuck nodded before disappearing into a gentle glow, I relaxed a little feeling safer and warm. Dean hugged me again and kissed me softly, "Can we lay down?"

I nodded a bit, "Of course Dean."

Dean and I laid down in bed, I used my grace to make our clothing disappear and Dean wrapped his arms around my waist softly, one hand resting just above where the few tiny cells of our child was growing. It didn't take long before I felt Dean drift off to sleep and I closed my eyes letting myself imagine.

 _ **((Okay so this is kinda a sappy chapter. Hope you guys enjoy it anyways. Thank you all so much for reading! Please follow, favorite and leave me a review!))**_


	34. Chapter 34

**Dean's POV**

When I woke up again I was still wrapped around Cas, at first, he wasn't breathing and I panicked before I remembered he was an Angel again, which also made me remember he was carrying my child and I gently rubbed his stomach. Cas moved so he could look at me and smiled a little, "Good Morning Dean"

I smiled a little and hugged him close, "Hey babe. How are you feeling?"

Cas shrugged a bit, "I feel fine, although I am a little tired."

I stroked a hand through his hair, "Mmm. "

I leaned in to kiss Cas but just before I could there was a knock on the door, "Dean are you up? Think I got a case"

I sighed and rested my head on Cas' for a moment before replying, "Yeah meet me in the library"

Cas cupped my cheek, kissing me gently, "It's okay Dean."

I nodded before standing up and getting dressed, I turned to see Cas laying in bed still watching me and I smirked a little, "Admiring the view?"

Cas smiled and nodded before he stood up and used his mojo to make his clothes reappear and then we went out to the library, Gabe was snacking on some sort of dessert while Sam was sitting in front of his laptop. I sat across from him, "Okay so whats this case?"

Sam looked up, "There's reports of a girl nearby who matches Charlie's description"

I frowned, "I thought Charlie was in Oz with Dorothy"

Sam nodded, "Yeah me too. I found something in the news about a murder, looked fishy and then I saw the whole thing was caught on video. That's when I saw Charlie, she killed this guy, Dean."

I frowned, "No way Sam. Gotta be a shapeshifter let me see that video."

Sam sighed but slid his laptop over to me, "I've watched this video 4 times already dean and there's nothing in her eyes. It's Charlie."

I watched the video, I had seen people killed before but seeing Charlie, who was like a little sister to me, kill this guy made me feel sick to my stomach. I gagged and closed the laptop pushing it back over to Sam, "That didn't look like Charlie man, I mean it was Charlie but she killed that guy without hesitation Sam. There's no way that was Charlie."

Sam nodded, "Yeah I know. This was only a few towns over so do you wanna get our stuff and head out?"

I nodded a bit, "Yeah Meet you at the Impala in 10?"

Sam nodded and stood up heading to his room, Gabe followed him. I went to my room and I felt Cas behind me, I picked up my duffle and started packing my basic stuff I'd need when I noticed Cas wasn't packing anything so I turned to him, "Cas?"

Cas sighed, "As much as I would like to assist you in finding Charlie I am not sure it is safe for me to leave the bunker. Father warded the bunker to keep me safe and with that protection, I believe the other angels do not know of the Nephilim I am carrying."

"Yeah, but didn't he say he was going to lock the gates…?"

Cas hesitated but nodded, "Yes… I suppose it would be safe for me to leave…"

I took Cas' hand, "Hey if you want to stay here that's okay babe."

Cas hesitated to look into my eyes before he bit his lip, "I… I would prefer to stay in the bunker Dean."

I kissed him gently "Okay hun, that's fine. Why don't I ask if Gabe can stay with you while we are gone?"

Cas shakes his head a little, "The warding on the bunker is powerful, I will be safe here and you and Sam need Gabriel in case anything goes wrong."

I smiled a little and nodded, "Okay hun well Call if you need anything okay?"

Cas nodded and walked with me out to the garage where Sam was loading his stuff into the trunk, Gabe was leaning against Baby talking to Sam. Gabe looked at Cas, "Where's your bag, Cassie?"

Cas bit his lip, "I will be staying here in the bunker…"

Gabe studied Cas before nodding, "Need me to stay with you, Cassie?"

Cas shook his head a bit, "No brother, I would rather you went with Sam and Dean to keep them safe."

Gabe smiled a bit and nodded, "Sure thing Cassie. "

Cas smiled a bit then kissed me as I climbed into Baby, after we waved bye to Cas he shut the garage door. Finding Charlie was easier than we expected but we found out it was the bad version of Charlie when we found the Good version. The case took us a few days but I had to hurt Charlie. When we got back to the bunker with Charlie I went straight to find Cas, I couldn't stand that I had hurt Charlie. Cas was in our room reading and I could see he was half asleep, I got into bed with him and laid my head on his stomach and sighed heavily. Cas put the book down before he ran his hands through my hair, "What is the matter, Dean?"

I sighed and explained what had happened with Charlie, it made me feel worse the more I went through it. Cas stroked my hair softly, "Dean you had no choice but to fight back against the other version of Charlie."

I bit my lip and nodded a little, there was a soft knock on my door, "Dean… can we talk?" Charlie's voice came through the door and I sighed a little. I sat up and went to the door, "Hey kiddo…"

Charlie had a split lip and I had broken her wrist while we were fighting. I turned back to Cas and let her come into the room, Cas looked at her and got up, "Charlie would you like me to heal you?"

Charlie smiled, "Sure Castiel"

Cas touched his fingers to her forehead and just like that she was fine, I sat down on the bed letting Charlie sit at the desk, "I am really sorry Charlie."

Charlie sighed, "Dean it isn't your fault. I mean come on Evil Charlie was beating the crapola out of you."

I laughed a little and shook my head, "I still hate that I had to hurt you. You've been through enough hell"

Charlie smiled, "I know Dean but I'm fine. Although I don't have anywhere to stay so maybe I could stay here with you guys?"

I nodded, "Course kid, we'd love to have you here. You can hang out with Cas when we go on hunts"

Charlie looked confused, "Why won't Cas be going with you? I mean didn't you say he was an angel again?"

Cas looked at me and I knew he was making sure it was okay if he explained so I nodded. Cas smiled a little, "I am carrying a Nephilim within my Grace and it is safer for me to stay within the bunker because it is warded against angels who aren't welcome."

Charlie's eyes lit up, "You guys are having a kid? Why the heckity didn't you tell me, Dean?!"

I smiled, "We were a little focused on saving your ass."

She laughed before getting up and hugging me, "I'm happy for you Dean. Does this mean I get to be godmother cause if this kid is a girl she is gonna need some help from all this testosterone she is growing up with."

I rolled my eyes before ruffling her hair, "I guess so, come on we should get you set up in a room."

Charlie nodded and after I gave Cas a kiss Charlie and I went to get Charlie a room that was between Sam and I's areas. After she started settling in I went back to my room and found Cas asleep, I smiled a little and stripped down and climbed into bed with him. Cas stirred and opened his eyes, rubbing at them a little and he started to sit up, "Sorry Dean.."

I softly kissed his cheek, "Shhh it's okay Cas, go back to sleep. I am exhausted anyways

Cas nodded and pulled me close to him and nuzzling his nose into my neck, he made a soft purring noise and I'll be damned if I didn't admit how cute it was. I smiled a little and for a few minutes just watched him sleep, as an angel Cas had never slept before but after being human for so long, not to mention his grace was growing our child I think he at least wanted to sleep but I also think part of him needed to sleep. After a few minutes of listening to Cas' soft breathing, I could feel myself drifting off to sleep as well, and I fell into the darkness of sleep.

 _ **((Okay babies! Sorry if the Charlie part was short and weird but I wanted to bring Charlie in and since Dean doesn't have the mark in this story, idk. Anyways! Hope you guys enjoy this chapter, a little sappy but hopefully, you guys like! Thank you for reading, please follow, favorite and leave me a review to let me know what yall think!))**_


	35. Chapter 35

**_2 months later_**

 **Cas's POV**

The last two months have been interestingly calm in the supernatural sense, the angels were still locked in Heaven, the demons had just been doing normal business, and the rest of the supernatural creatures were keeping low profiles. There had been a few times Dean and Sam had to go out on hunts, usually, Gabriel going with them while Charlie and I stayed in the bunker, although the last week I had felt restless. I am only a month from giving birth to the Nephilim I am carrying, I could feel that it was a boy, however, Dean did not want to know, saying he had wanted to be surprised. We have not yet decided on names because Dean is being indecisive. Dean was currently at a table in the library spouting out names from a baby book but none of them felt right, so I paced around the room trying to get the ache in my back to disappear. I was so in my head I didn't see Dean get up until I ran into him, "Easy babe, why don't you come sit down."

I sighed and shook my head, "I do not wish to sit down Dean. I am uncomfortable no matter what I do."

Dean sighed a little and kissed my cheek gently before rubbing my rounded abdomen, "I know Cas, I'm sorry. You've been stuck in this bunker for two months babe, why don't we go outside for a walk, we can stay close to the bunker, just get you some fresh air?"

I sighed a little and rubbed at the stretched skin where our son was currently resting, I was still hesitant to leave the bunker but I also desperately missed being outside, so I bit the inside of my cheek and nodded a little. Dean smiled and nodded, "Let me go get you one of my shirts and a coat hun, it snowed pretty hard the other day."

I shook my head, "There is no need Dean, the cold will not affect me"

Dean hesitated before he said, "Okay, at least let me get you one of my shirts?"

I sighed a little before nodding, he kissed my head before heading to his room and I sighed heavily looking down at my stomach "You are making things very hard for me to be comfortable, son."

I heard a small gasp and turned to see Sam standing there and I frowned, "Sam you cannot tell Dean, he does not wish to know."

Sam came over, he had a small smile on his face, "I won't say a word, congratulations Cas."

I smiled a little and nodded, "Thank you, Sam. May I ask how is Gabriel doing?"

Sam sighed a little, "About not being pregnant yet? He keeps trying to act like everything is fine but I can see it bothers him… he refuses to call Chuck though."

I sighed gently, "Gabriel is stubborn, and he has wanted children of his own for a long time. He refuses to talk to me about it, I believe it is because he does not want to make me feel bad about the fact that I am carrying a child and he is not."

Sam nodded a little and looked down at the notebook Dean and I had listed possible names, although at the moment the only thing on the paper was a column for boy names and girl names. "I know it disappoints him big time. I mean we keep trying but nothings taking."

As I was about to say more Dean came back and handed me the shirt before smiling at Sam, "Hey Sammy, where's Gabriel?"

Sam replied, "He went out to get a few things that we need for the baby shower."

Dean sighed, "Dude I told you we didn't need one. You guys can just get stuff for the baby,"

Sam rolled his eyes, "Dude it's a nice gesture, Gabe, Charlie and I all pitched in okay. So what are you guys doing?"

"Dean believes I need to get some fresh air and since I am so uncomfortable and restless the idea pleased me so we are going for a walk around the bunker" I replied as I put Dean's shirt on, before it had been too large for me but now with my softly rounded abdomen the shirt fit tightly on me."

Sam smiled a little, "Okay, well I am going to talk to Charlie, she said she was trying to update some of the Men of Letter's filling and upload some of the stuff to her computer so I was going to help."

Dean rolled his eyes, "Nerds, Come on Cas."

I shook my head a bit before going with Dean up the slightly rounded staircase and outside, as I crossed the warding I could feel it squeeze on my grace before releasing it and it made me slightly uneasy but I ignored it and took Dean's hand, as Dean said it had snowed heavily yesterday. I could feel the bitterness of the cold but it felt good against my skin. Dean looked at me and smiled a bit, "You look happier already Cas."

I smiled and looked around at the trees covered in snow, "As much as I feel safer in the bunker I love the beauty that Earth holds."

Dean wrapped his arm around my shoulders and kissed my head, "You know I won't let anything happen to you or our baby."

I nodded gently and stared at the snow, there was something so calming about the way the snow covered the ground making all the other noises softer, I was so distracted I almost missed feeling the excited movement within my Grace, I paused and smiled looking down at my abdomen. Dean looked at me, "Everything okay babe?"

I looked up at him and nodded, "Our child is moving very much within my grace, it appears to enjoy being outside the bunker as well."

Dean smiled and rubbed my stomach softly, "Speaking of which babe, we need to pick names,"

I sighed and nodded, "I agree Dean, however, it is pointless to find names for both genders when I already know the gender of our child."

Dean sighed a bit and ran his hands through his hair, "I know… I just wish it could be a surprise…"

I nodded, "If it is that important to you, Dean, we can continue to call it gender-neutral terms."

Dean smiled a little and kissed me before shaking his head, "No you are right, and truthfully I am dying to know."

I pulled his hand to where our son was clearly moving just under the skin, making Dean smile and kneel down and lift my shirt before kissing my stomach gently, then he looked up at me, "So…"

I rubbed my stomach a bit before looking into Dean's eyes, "It is a boy Dean, we are having a son"

Dean looked up at me with tears in his eyes before he looked back at my abdomen and softly said, "Hi there little guy, it's your daddy here. Oh, buddy, I can't wait till you are born"

I couldn't stop the tears from forming in my eyes as I listened to Dean talking to our son until I saw Dean shiver and I realized how cold it was, "Dean we should go inside, while the cold does not bother me you are human"

Dean nodded and stood up and just as he stood up there was multiple flutterings of wings around us, Dean put me behind his back and glared at the angels that were standing in front of us, I recognized all of them and knew there were angels who had followed Raphael, which meant they were less likely to listen to the differences our Father was trying to make. "Awe Castiel, you should have stayed inside our father's protective warding.

I felt myself beginning to panic but Dean's whole demeanor had changed into his hunter mode, he was on high alert. I was so focused on the angels I almost didn't notice the fear from my son radiating through my grace, I quickly sent a message to Gabriel for help just as one of the angels lunged at Dean and I. Dean easily turned Hamiel's blade in on himself killing him with ease. Micah tackled Dean into the snow leaving me open as Jophial and Zadkial stepped closer to me, I could hear Dean fighting with Micah and I wanted to assist him but I knew if I turned my attention away from Jophial or Zadkial they could kill me and my son. I stepped back and called my own angel blade to me, holding it out in front of me protectively before I heard a cry of pain from Dean and my concentration broke for just a second and Jophial lunged at me however just as he did they were exploded on a molecular level similar to what Lucifer once did to me. I turned to see Chuck standing next to me and saw Gabriel healing Dean, without thinking I ran over to Dean and as soon as Gabriel was done healing him I wrapped my arms tightly around him and it took me a moment to register the crying I was hearing was coming from me. Dean rubbed my back softly and stroked his hand through my hair gently attempting to calm me down, "Shh, hey it's okay Cas, I've got you now."

I whimpered and buried my nose into Dean's neck, I could feel myself shaking and Dean's arms tightened around me. I heard the crunch of the snow as Chuck and Gabriel both got closer, Chuck softly said, "We should take Castiel inside Dean."

 _ **((Gahhh 2 chapters on the same day? Whuuttt? Lol couldn't sleep tonight so I wrote. Did not originally intend for this chapter to go this way but you know sometimes things just happen. Chances are I will update another chapter here soon guys so stay tuned! Please follow, favorite and leave me a review so I can get feedback!))**_


	36. Chapter 36

**Dean's POV**

After Chuck said we should go inside I scooped Cas up in my arms and we went into the bunker, although I was pissed at myself that Cas had nearly gotten hurt I could still feel Cas' fear so I ignored my anger so I could help Cas. Once we were inside the Library I carefully sat Cas in a chair and he whimpered and clung to my neck, "Shhh I'm gonne sit right next to you okay, I'm not going anywhere."

Cas bit his lip but nodded and let go of me, I sat in the chair next to him scooting it right next to his and he leaned against me as best he could, Gabe sat a cup of tea in front of Cas before gently rubbing his shoulder and sitting next to Cas at the end of the table, Chuck looked hesitant to sit but finally he sat down, "Castiel I am sorry for what happened, I believe there was a back door that Gabriel had once left that your brothers had somehow gained access to when you left the bunker. I didn't realise it had happened until you prayed to Gabriel for help…."

Cas didn't say anything for a minute before he nodded and then he got up, "I would like to go to bed,"

I didn't have to be an angel to read Cas's mind, he was scared and Chuck's oversight nearly got him, our son and myself killed. Chuck nodded before he looked to Gabriel whose attention was currently on Cas, "Take your tea Cassie, I found some stuff that is supposed to be a natural painkiller, should help some okay?"

Cas smiled, even though it was small I knew the gesture was greatly appreciated. Cas nodded to Gabriel as he went in the direction of our room, I started to follow him before I turned back to Chuck, "I'm about to overstep here, but you are really fucking lucky you got there in time, Cas is my world, and so is the little boy he is carrying so you better fucking fix the shit up there because I am not about to let Cas live his whole life in this bunker because he is scared to take our son outside,"

Chuck raised his eyebrows and Gabe was smirking before he gave me a highfive as I walked out, when I was at the door of our room Cas was already stripped down to just a pair of my basketball shorts and he was settling into the bed with the cup of tea at his lips. I smiled and closed the door behind me before I climbed into bed with Cas, after a couple minutes of quiet Cas looked at me, "Are you okay Deam, I know Gabriel healed you but.. I… I wanted to help but if I lbacked down from Jophial or Zadkial they would have killed me"

I rubbed a hand over his stomach gently, "I was fine babe, just one angel, nothing I haven't dealt with before."

Unfortunately while I had been trying to reassure him this only seemed to make him more upset, "You should not have to deal with angels Dean. I should have stayed inside I knew other angel's would not be happy…"

I softly rubbed his stomach and pulled him close to me, "Babe we can't stay in this bunker forever, even with the incident today, its not healthy to never leave the bunker. Especially after you give birth to our son we cant expect him to never want to go outside and see what else there is babe."

Cas closed his eyes and he buried his face in my shoulder, I could feel he was crying and I wrapped my arms around him and hugging him gently, I wasn't sure if he was going to say anything else before finally he said, "I'm scared I will not be a good enough father for him…"

I pulled away just enough so I could meet his eyes, "Why do you think that babe?"

Cas sniffled before wiping his eyes and looking at his hands, "You have much more experience than I, not only with caring for Sam but you have been a human your whole life, while I only spent a year as a human and even then I was not a very good human…. I only know things about angels and… most angels lack human emotions, I mean… even Gabriel knows more than I do."

I sighed and hugged him again before cupping his cheek and pressing a gentle kiss to his lips, "Babe, I can worry about the human stuff, you can worry about the angel stuff, and while you are new to this parenting thing I can see how amazing you are going to be already, I mean I hear you sometimes in the mornings when you think I am asleep, I could hear you talking to him and telling him stories, the rest of your family may be assholes but you are probably the best angel I have ever met, Gabe comes in second because as much as I dislike the guy he is great to sam and most of all he genuinely cares about you. Listen Cas I can't promise everything will always work out for us, I mean a good majority of our lives have been hell but we have made it through all that so I promise you that no matter what, we can make it through this all okay?"

Cas was crying again but I could tell he felt better as he kept hugging me and it only took him a few more minutes to fall asleep, Cas' sleeping was few and far between at the beginning of his pregnancy but the closer we got to the end of it the more he slept, sometimes he slept long than I did. I was so focused on Cas I didn't hear my phone buzz for a couple minutes until it buzzed a second time, I pulled it out from my pocket to see a text from Sam

Sorry I wasn't there to help you Dean, I had no idea until Gabe came to find me and Charlie. Is Cas okay? Gabe said he was pretty shaken up, he also said you chewed out God, ballsy move bro.

Guessing you are asleep or don't want to move Cas, don't worry about it but if you or Cas need anything Gabe says to just pray to him. Night Jerk.

I smiled a little at the worried tone in Sam's text, I decided to just put my phone on the charger, being careful not to jostle Cas to much before I got up and slipped into just my boxers. Cas reached out for me in his sleep so I carefully climbed back into bed and let him attach to me like a damn octopus, but I couldn't help the smile that formed on my lips. The last 2 years had been full of ups and downs but I was happy that Christmas was just a month away and the birth of my son was also only a month away, I had already found something for Cas and now just needed to find something for our son. Although first Cas and I needed to decide on a name, so while I couldn't sleep I grabbed the notepad from my desk and wrote down a few names.

 _ **Liam**_

 _ **Alexander**_

 _ **William**_

 _ **James**_

 _ **Logan**_

As I wrote down names Logan stuck out to me, I knew I'd need to talk to Cas about it but something about the name Logan felt right. I looked at Cas who was still fast asleep and I gently put the notepad down before pulling Cas close to me, my hand laying absently on his stomach gently. I softly kissed his head before closing my eyes and started to fall asleep relaxing in the arms of my husband.

 _ **((Okay guys! We have a name, I hadn't originally planned on this name but I found it while looking at other names, to me it has a significance because a few months back my autistic cousin was hit by a train and killed. Choosing it in a**_ fanficition _ **is a huge honor but I felt like it was the right name for this. Hope you guys like the name and like this chapter. Please follow, favorite and leave me a review!))**_


	37. Chapter 37

**Sam's POV**

Charlie and I were scanning documents from the Men of Letter's files and uploading them to her computer when there was a flutter of wings, when I looked up Gabriel was standing there but he was panting a little and covered in blood, with the documents quickly forgotten I stood up, "Gabe! What the hell happened are you okay?"

Gabe looked down at himself, "Oh this isn't my blood, I'm fine Sam squatch. Dean didn't call you?"

I frowned, "Why would Dean call me? What happened Gabe?"

Gabe sighed and explained the fight that he had been called to, "Dad exploded all three and I healed Dean, Cas…. Cas is pretty shaken up… I don't know if he will be going outside again until after the kids born, speaking of which did you know it was a boy? Dean let it slip when he was chewing out Chuck."

My eyes widened, and I sighed, "How did those angels get out, I mean didn't Chuck say he was going to be locking the gates? And yes, I accidentally overheard Cas talking to him when he thought the room was empty, made me swear not to tell Dean so either he accidentally let that slip or Dean caved and asked Cas."

Gabe sighed and just as I was about to suggest he clean himself up he snapped his fingers and all the blood and stuff was gone, "They got out through a hidden door I left for myself so if I wanted to get back into Heaven I could… I only ever used it to get out of Heaven… "

I looked at Charlie who nodded and left, I gently pulled Gabriel close to me and kissed him, "It's not your fault Gabe…"

Gabe bit his lip, "It is Sam moose, if I hadn't left that door they wouldn't have gotten out… I mean… Cas and my nephew were nearly killed."

I kissed him softly, "If they hadn't used your door they would have found another way, I mean you said these guys were former followers of Raphael, they wanted revenge and the fact that Cas was carrying a Nephilim was an even better reason for them. By the way, you said Dean chewed out God? What'd he say?"

Gabe laughed a little, "Oh you should have seen it, Sammy, if it weren't for the fact that Dad can't be killed I am pretty sure Dean wanted to. He basically told him to fix his shit, Dad was in shock but I gave Dean-o a high five."

I rolled my eyes a little, "You are an instigator."

Gabe nodded and then bit his lip, "I talked to Chuck…"

At first, I was confused till I realized what he meant and nodded, "Why don't we go to our room, Gabe."

Gabe nodded and walked with me to our room and while we walked I sent a message to Dean, and when I didn't get a response I assumed he was asleep or didn't want to move Cas so I sent another quick message. I went into our room and sat down at the end of the bed with Gabriel who sat next to me. After a minute of silence, Gabe finally said "Dad said. I... My grace is rejecting the Nephilim… h… he isn't sure why but he wants me to come to Heaven, he says it may be that it has been so long since I have actually spent time in Heaven it may be that my grace isn't quite strong enough to carry…"

I rubbed his back, "But Cas didn't… I mean he had just become an angel again when he got pregnant…"

Gabe nodded, "Exactly, dad restored his Grace to full power, it's been a long time since I have actually been to heaven for more than an hour…"

I nodded a little and gently pulled him close, "Then if you need to go to Heaven for a few days it's okay really. I can just hang out with Charlie, we gotta get some stuff done with the Men of Letters stuff"

Gabe smiled and kissed me gently, "Promise you aren't mad?"

I smiled and nodded, "I promise babe. You gotta recharge it's okay."

Gabe closed his eyes and took in a shaky inhale before nodding, "I will go tomorrow. I want to spend time with you, Sam."

I gently ran my fingers through his hair and nodded a bit, "Okay Hun. You know Cas was worried about you…"

I saw Gabe chewing on his lip before he nodded a little, "I know… he tried talking to me through angel radio last night when you were sleeping... I just didn't want him to feel guilty."

I stopped the small chuckle and kissed his head, "That is pretty much what he thought. So babe, since chances are when you come back you will be able to be pregnant do you want to talk about names?"

Gabe lifted his head off my chest and nodded a little, "That sounds like a good idea Sam. Can we lay down and cuddle though?"

I smiled and nodded, "Course Gabe."

I gently pulled my shirt off and then climbed into my bed, Gabe climbing in next to me and cuddling against my side softly. I gently carded my fingers through his hair and waited for him to speak. After a minute he softly said, "Should we start with boy names or girls?"

I shrugged a little, "Whatever you want Gabe."

Gabe chewed on his lip a little before softly saying, "Well I have sort of thought about this a lot and I have a few ideas for both… for a boy, I really like Declan, David, and Damien. Um for a girl I really liked Nova, Natasha and…." When Gabe hesitated at the last name I looked at him worriedly. After a minute he softly whispered, "I really liked Mary, but we don't have to do that if you don't want to Sam."

My heart squeezed a little when he said Mary, I smiled a little and leaned down and kissed him softly, "I really like Mary, Gabe. I want to check with Dean to make sure he is okay with that name but I love it really. As far as boys names I really liked David or Damien so which one is your favorite of the two."

Gabe smiled and softly said, "Between those to it is Damien."

I nodded a bit and kissed him again this time deeper and after a minute I had to pull away to breathe but I couldn't stop smiling. "It's settled then, Mary as long as Dean is okay with it and Damien."

Gabe took a deep breath and nodded a little. "Awesome."

Gabe and I laid there for a few more hours just talking about things and agreeing on how we would raise our child before I started to get tired, Gabe assured me that it was fine and I fell asleep. It was early the next morning when I woke up to Gabe kissing me lightly, and when he saw my eyes open he smiled and softly whispered, "I need to go to Heaven Sammy. It'll be a few days, a week at most alright?"

I smiled sleepily and nodded, "Okay Gabe. I love you, be safe okay?"

Gabe nodded and then kissed me again before he disappeared with a soft flutter of wings. I yawned and stretched out some before checking the time to see it was only 6 am, and normally I went for a run but I felt like just laying back down and going to sleep for a few more hours so that is just what I did.

 _ **(((Okay readers! I am so sorry it has taken me so long to update. I was rewriting my story Married Life and got distracted. I am going to work on another chapter tonight before I go to bed, maybe even 2 chapters I haven't decided if I have the motivation or not. Anyway! Please leave a review, follow and favorite!)))**_


	38. Chapter 38

**Cas' POV**

I woke to a sharp pain in my back and I cried out in pain and felt Dean move closer to me and his voice was anxious as he asked, "Cas, baby are you okay?"

I closed my eyes as the pain eased once I moved to lay more on my side and relaxed a bit, after taking a deep breath I looked at Dean, "S…sorry I think he was pressing against my spin and when he tried to move it hurt,"

Dean nodded softly before leaning forward and kissing my head lightly, and pressing his lips to my forehead, "It's okay, How are you feeling otherwise?"

I shrugged softly, "Surprisingly comfortable for once."

Dean smiled and looked at my stomach rubbing his hand over it softly, "I uh, I think I have an idea for his name. If you feel up to talking about it."

I nodded and gazed into Dean's eyes, he looked happy and while I knew the effects of what Naomi had done were not completely gone he had been doing very well lately. "Of course Dean,"

Dean sat up some and moved closer to me so I could cuddle into his side, "So I was looking at the names I wrote down, and I am thinking maybe Logan John Winchester, or just Logan if you don't like the middle name," Dean started to stammer.

I smiled and laid my hand on his cutting him off and drawing his eyes to mine, the name sounded right in a way I didn't understand but regardless it felt right. "I like it, Dean, I like the middle name as well."

Dean smiled brightly at me and leaned down and kissed me tenderly, "Good. Now I am sure you are probably hungry, why don't we go find something to eat?"

I nodded softly and after a few minutes of still just laying there comfortably Dean got up and then helped me get loose flannel pajama pants on before we went to the kitchen. Sam was making himself a coffee and he heard us coming in so he turned and smiled some, "Hey, glad to see you guys are okay."

Dean smiled in returned, "Yeah, sorry I didn't respond to your text Sammy,"

Sam waved Dean off as he turned to finish making his coffee "It's fine Dean, Gabe told me you guys were okay I was just checking in."

I smiled and sat at the table in the kitchen while Dean moved to the fridge to find something to cook when I noticed Gabriel was absent I frowned "Where is Gabriel?"

Sam moved to the table with his coffee and sat across from me, "He talked to Chuck about his infertility issues I guess you could call them um but Chuck says his grace maybe rejecting the life since it has been so long since he actually spent time in heaven so he will be gone for a few days."

I nod softly, "That would make sense, even after out father rebuilt him he did not stay in Heaven and he had suppressed his powers."

Sam nods before running his fingers through his hair, "Yeah, I am hoping it works because he was starting to get a bit desperate."

I go to reply before, Dean sets a plate of toast with peanut butter spread over it and I smile up at him, "Thank you, Dean."

Dean smiles and kissed my head before going to make his own coffee. A few minutes Charlie came in, her hair was up in a ponytail which I had not seen her do often, and she looked like she had been awake for a couple of hours. "Morning bitches,"

Dean rolled his eyes but he was also smiling, "Morning kid, did you actually get any sleep last night?"

Charlie rolled her eyes also and nodded, "Yeah I slept until like 6 am Dad."

Dean and Sam both Chuckled and I just ate my toast quietly. Dean looked at all of us, "How about I make breakfast for everyone instead of letting you all fend for yourselves."

Sam raised his eyebrows but shrugged, "Sounds good to me."

Charlie responded the same time as Sam, "Thank God, I am starving," After she stopped talking she realized something before shaking her head, "Saying thank God, when your friend's Dad is actually God is kind of weird."

Dean laughed harder and once he regained control of himself he shook his head, "Yeah, well the creepier thing is that he is my Father-in-Law."

Charlie made a face before giggling out, "Dude you realize that makes Lucifer your Brother-In-Law."

Sam laughed this time while Dean looked uncomfortable and I was just mostly confused, I assumed Dean already knew this, though I was not sure if it really counted. Dean glared at Sam and replied, "Yeah well if you and Gabe get married he will be your Brother-in-Law too."

Sam's face went blank and then he shook his head, 'That thought alone is just weird."

Charlie looked at me, "Wait what about Jesus, wasn't he God's creation or whatever."

I frowned and shook my head, "No actually, Jesus was actually a Nephilim."

Suddenly all eyes were on me and Dean was the first to speak, "Wait, what? What angel's love-child was he then."

I chewed on my lip before responding, "Lucifer's."

Everyone's eyes went wide, and Sam stuttered, "W…What?"

I nodded, "Lucifer had not yet been locked away in the pit, and he and Mary… had a fling. She regretted it and told her husband that an angel had come to her to inform her she would carry God's child. Gabriel played along to help her carry the kid to full term as a promise to Lucifer. So, he was Nephilim, when they put him on the cross there was an angel who used angel blades to keep him pinned to the cross."

Charlie shook her head in amazement, "Dude how do you think bible-thumpers would feel if they knew their beloved Jesus was Satan's lovechild?"

Dean snorted before going back to making breakfast. Dean made a large pile of scrambled eggs, a large amount of bacon, more toast, and sausage. After everything was finished we moved to one of the tables in the library since there was more room and all ate in comfortable silence, occasionally Charlie or Dean, or Sam would ask me questions but mostly they were enjoying their food. I closed my eyes laying my hand on my stomach feeling my son's movements and occasional kicks, I used my grace to check on him and found he was sleeping. Halfway through breakfast, Charlie asked "So have you guys picked out a name yet?'

Dean responded, "Yeah, we actually figured it out this morning, "Logan John Winchester."

Sam smiled and then looked at Dean with apprehension, "Speaking of baby names, um Gabe and I sort of picked out some names and I know he isn't even pregnant yet but I wanted to make sure with you if one of them was okay."

Dean studied Sam's face before nodding, "Okay"

Sam chewed on his lip before looking at his coffee, then looking up at Dean again, his voice filled with anxiety, "Well we are thinking for a boy, Damien, um but for a girl, I wanted to know if you would be okay with me naming her…" Sam paused before clearing his throat and continuing, "Would you be okay with us naming her Mary."

Dean tensed at first before he swallowed thickly and nodded, "Yeah Sammy of course. She was your Mom to Sam,"

I smiled softly but took Dean's hand comfortingly and Sam chuckled nervously before nodding and looking away, "I know but… you knew Mom better you know, I just wanted to make sure it was okay."

Dean smiled at Sam before nodding, "Of course it's okay Sam. Now enough with the chick-flick moments."

Sam chuckled and replied, "Jerk."

Dean smirked before responding, "Bitch."

Charlie suddenly cut in, "Assbutts."

Dean and Sam both barked out laughter and laughed deeply before shaking their heads and breakfast was finished in silence.

 **((Okay my lovely readers! I am sorry it's taken me so long, I truthfully don't have an excuse aside from the fact that I was having issues with it and I was working on a couple other stories I haven't published on here yet. Anyway, please Follow, Favorite, and Leave me a Review! Seriously, guys, they mean so much to me!))**


	39. Chapter 39

**Dean's POV**

After breakfast Cas seemed really tired and gave me a kiss before heading back to our room, I watched after him slightly worried but tried to play it off to Sam and Charlie. Sam went with Charlie to help her with the Bunker's computers and after some delaying in the kitchen I went back to my room to check on Cas, as I entered I found him fast asleep curled up on our bed hugging my leather jacket, I hadn't worn it in a while and at some point he had taken it. I smiled just a bit and sat next to Cas in the bed, carefully rubbing his back, making him basically purr and move closer to my touch. I kept rubbing gentle circles on his back before leaning down and kissing his head, "I love you Cas," I then moved to kiss the slight bulge of his belly and softly whispered, "I love you to Logan.I can't wait to meet you buddy"

Cas stirred but just turned over and moved so his head was resting in my lap, I grinned and let my hand fall to his head and stroke his hair. I laid like this for an hour, Cas slowly moving more into my lap and now he was wrapped around me like an octopus, not that I minded just, damn he is so cuddly when he sleeps. I closed my eyes and held Cas close, soon our baby would be here and, our lives would change, I am so excited. We hadn't even been married a full year yet and now we were about to add to our family. Only 3 months until our 1 year anniversary, suddenly my eyes opened and I grabbed my phone to look at the date. Shit. Its December 1st. Christmas is in 24 days. Oh god. With all the crap going on lately I had forgotten completely about Thanksgiving and nearly forgot about Christmas. I looked at Cas who was still asleep but I could tell he was starting to wake up. A few minutes later Cas opened his eyes and they met mine. I stroked my fingers through his hair gently, "Hey Cas,"

Cas groaned gently and cuddled into my chest more,"My back hurts,"

I kissed his head and gently sat him up so I could rub his back, and smiled when he groaned and relaxed into my touch. "How's that babe"

Cas smiled then looked at me, "It wonderfulDean, thank you for being such a good husband."

I kissed his head gently, "We sort of missed Thanksgiving, and Christmas last year so unless Logan decides to show up I thought we could actually do something for Christmas this year before Logan gets here."

Cas blushed but nodded, "Of course Dean, though I believe he may be here before christmas."

I nodded and ran my fingers through his hair, "Yeah well if it happens then we can spend it together."

Cas purred and relaxed into my touch, "I hate how exhausted I feel, its like when I first became human before Chuck fixed it."

I kissed the back of his neck as he moved so his back was against my chest again, and gently rubbed up and down his sides, "I think pregnancy in general is pretty exhausting, I kind of remember when Mom was pregnant with Sammy, towards the end she napped a lot"

Cas hummed softly in agreement and I could hear and feel his breathing starting to even out again, before jerking suddenly and groaned and stretched out, "I want to take a bath…"

I held back a chuckle but Nodded, "Okay babe," I stood up and grabbed a pair of my pajama pants for him to wear after his bath, I knew after baths he didn't like wearing a shirt for the first few hours because his skin was to warm. I helped him stand up and helped him to the bathroom. Cas sat on the toilet seat while I turned the bath on, using some of Sam's essential oils to help Cas relax. "There ya go babe."

I carefully helped Cas into the tub and smiled as his face relaxed and he relaxed into the water. Cas closed his eyes and gently let his head fall carefully onto the back of the tub. I smiled and gently rubbed his shoulders and he gasped a bit. "I love you so much Dean, you are the best husband ever, and I know you will be an amazing father."

I smiled and pressed small kisses to the back of his neck, "You are really great to Cas, and you will be the best father to you know."

Cas shook his head, "Technically I am the mother since I am the one carrying him."

I carefully massaged his scalp, "I wasn't sure you wanted to be called Mom considering you're a guy Cas."

Cas hummed before nodding, "I know but… I don't know. Maybe we should let him decide what he wants to call me."

 _I smiled and Suddenly Alistair's voice was in my ear "You know he doesn't really want you Dean, you fuck everything up. They are better off without your fucked up ass. If you don't leave they will get killed and it will be all your fault." Suddenly I was back in hell with Alistair, whispering in my ear that I would never get out again. I whimpered and fought against the arms holding me. Begging for Mercy, "Not again please! No more!I will do it, please just. Not again"_

 **((Okay guys, I am sorry I havent updated this in so long. Sorry this is a little angsty at the end. Love ya))**


	40. Chapter 40

**Sam's POV**

I was helping Charlie with the computers when I suddenly heard Cas yelling for me. I locked eyes with Charlie before I was going to find Cas, Cas was naked and wet but trying to talk to Dean who was curled up on the floor with his eyes screwed shut and his hands over his ears. I ignored Cas nudity and knelt down next to Dean who immediately flinched away from my touch and Cas spoke with obvious panic, "I tried that, he fought me, I had to let him go because of Logan… I think he is hallucinating"

I nodded slightly, "Okay,anything that triggered It or what?"

Cas shook his head and I could tell he wanted to hold Dean and comfort him, "No… we were discussing what Logan would call me albeit mother or father, i said since I was carrying him he…"

I nodded and cut Cas off, he was starting to breathe to fast, "Okay Cas, why don't you get some pants on, I will try to help Dean."

Cas looked down and blushed deeply before carefully getting up and grabbing the flannel pajama pants that were definitely Dean's. I moved closer to Dean again and spoke softly, "Dean hey… De come on man, whatever Is going on in your head it's not real."

Dean tried to move away from my touch again but now there was no where to go, he was mumbling incoherently and shaking hard. It hurt to see Dean like this, he wasn't even this bad after he got out of Hell, but then again he also never let Sam see his suffering. Cas was kneeling next to Dean again and attempted to run his fingers through Dean's hair and at first Dean flinched violently but his body relaxed some and his words started to become more clear. "Please Alistair, I can't do this, I will do anything, I will torture I just can't take it again. NO PLEASE STOP!" Then Dean was screaming his eyes opened and he shot up practically knocking Cas to the floor and Sam was by Cas' side making sure he was okay before helping him stand and let Cas move in front of Dean who was panting harshly as If he had just ran a marathon.

Cas was slow In his movements as he carefully cupped Dean's cheeks, "It's okay Dean, you are safe now. I pulled you from there 9 years ago, 9 years ago Dean. You are safe, I am right here. Do you remember,"

Dean's eyes finally connected with Cas' and his eyes went watery and he suddenly wrapped his arms tightly around Cas and sobbed. I took a deep breath and softly whispered to Cas, "I will go get him some water."

Cas nodded soflty and held Dean close, rubbing his back gently, softly whispering soothing words into his ear, "It's okay Dean, it's ok Honey, I've got you."

I sighed and then went to the kitchen to get Dean a glass of water, when I came back Dean was back on the floor with his head in Cas lap still shaking and Cas running his fingers through Dean's hair ever so softly. I could see Dean was still wary so I made sure I moved slowly and carefully sat on the floor not to close to crowd Dean, "Here Dean, I got some water for you…"

Dean's eyes opened and he swallowed thickly before sitting up some and taking a few large gulps of the water before laying back down, his head cradled inbetween Cas' thighs and lightly against the slight bulge of his abdomen. Cas hand gently fell back to Dean's head as he ran his finger's through Dean's hair. Even though Dean's eyes were open I could tell he wasn't actually seeing anything. I sighed heavily, I wanted to ask him about it but right now he was to far in his head. I took a deep breath and then looked at Cas, "Do you want my help gettingg him to bed, this floor is only comfortable for so long Cas."

Cas hesitated but his back was already severely protesting the hardness of the concrete he was sitting on. "Okay," Cas rubbed Dean's lower back gently, garnering Dean's attention. "Hey sweetie, you think you can get up so we can lay in bed, I won't make you get out of bed the rest of the day."

Dean nodded a bit and slowly sat up before forcing himself up, then turning back to Cas and held out his hand. I made sure Dean and Cas were okay before I went back to the computer room to find Charlie still working on the computers. "Hey Charlie."

Charlie looked up and nodded, "Everything okay Sam?"

I sighed heavily then shrugged. "I guess. I don't know. An angel fucked with Dean's head and Chuck fixed it but it isn't perfect. I don't know what triggered It but he was helping Cas in the bath and all of a sudden started hallucinating."

Charlie frowned, "That's scary…"

I hummed a little and nodded, "Yeah that's an understatement. How's the computers coming along?"

Charlie smiled and hit enter and then the main system whirred to life,"Done. You can control everything, well mostly everything from your laptop now."

I smiled and then hugged her, "Well why don't we make something to eat hmm?"

Charlie nodded, "Sounds amazing."

After Charlie and I had dinner I went back to my room, and looked at up my ceiling before closing my eyes and praying to Gabe, "Hey Gabe… I hope things are going okay up there. I miss you… like… so much Gabe. Dean had an episode… I…I don't think I have ever seen Dean that freaked out, not even after he came back from Hell. I think he was hallucinating about Hell, he was begging Alistair to stop… Fuck Gabe, why can't Dean just have a normal life, I mean after everything Dean's the one who deserves it more than anything."

I opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling some more before shifting to my side and sighing as I started to fall asleep.

 **((Ayyy two updates within 2 days. Im trying guys. Im sorry))**


	41. Chapter 41

**_Cas' POV_**

I carefully ran my fingers through Dean's hair, even though he was awake his breathing was relaxed and his eyes were unfocused. I hated how quickly whatever happened happened. I couldn't hold back my worry and desperately wanted to search Dean's mind but I promised him long before we became a couple that I wouldn't do that to him unless I needed to. While I desperately wanted to, and if Dean refused to talk to me then I might but, for now he was doing better.

After nearly half an hour Dean's arms tightened around me and very softly he said, "I'm sorry Cas… t..that probably freaked you out."

I looked down to meet his eyes and carefully cupped his cheek, "That's not what I am worried about right now Dean, what happened."

Dean closed his eyes and it took another minute before he spoke, his voice waivering minutely. "I… I don't know… One minute its fine and then suddenly Alistair's voice was in my ear telling me you… you didn't really want me and I fucking everything up. Then all of a sudden I was back in Hell. Saying that I would never escape again and… and then he wanted to punish me for escaping. D…did I hurt you?"

I carefully rubbed the back of his neck, "We are fine, I tried to hold you to calm you down but you freaked out more, so I let go. I called Sam to help… but that doesn't matter right now Dean. What matters is that you understand I couldn't be who I am today without you. You are my husband Dean and I love you and our child is going to love you. Do you need something to eat?"

Dean shook his head and pulled me closer, "I could have hurt you and Logan…"

I made Dean look at me, "Hey, if I really thought I was in danger I would have used what I have left of my powers. Don't worry about me or Logan, we are fine."

Dean closed his eyes before the tears that were pooling in his eyes could fall and I kissed his head lightly. Dean put a hand on my abdomen where It was clear now Logan was residing, I could feel Logan reacting to his Father's touch and I smiled, but then Dean's eyes widened and he pressed his fingers into my skin more, "Is… Is that?"

I looked at him, "You can feel him?"

Dean's eyes were watery for a different reason and he smiled brightly then moved down so he was face to face with my round abdomen, "Hey there hotshot, are you making Daddy feel better."

I smiled and stroked my fingers through his hair, "He recognizes you, and your voice, he can sense your soul even though he can't see it yet. He is happy, I can feel him, if you could feel it Dean… its wonderful."

Dean closed his eyes and laid his head on my stomach, I watched as he started to drift off and I smiled.

A week later…

Gabe just got back yesterday, Gabriel and Sam locked themselves in Sam's room, luckily he used soundproofing, not that it matter, I wasn't able to sleep at all last night. I spent the night setting up Logan's nursery and thoroughly cleaning it. It was currently 6 am, and I was still cleaning and arranging everything. I was so distracted I didn't hear Dean come In until he knocked, and cleared his throat, "Cas babe did you sleep at all?"

I chewed on my lip and looked up at Dean, "Um… no"

Dean came over to me and kneeled next to me, "Everything okay?"

I shrugged, "I couldn't sleep, I needed to make sure everything was ready for him…"

Dean smiled a bit and carefully kissed my head, "Your nesting."

I raised my eyebrow, "Nesting?"

Dean nodded, "Yes Mom's do It when they are close to giving birth, come on babe, you need to get some rest"

I hummed softly and let Dean help me up, just as I got up there was intense pain shootng up my back, I winced and clung to Dean's hand, "Fuck!"

Dean moved to support me and his face twisted with concern, "Cas, Cas are you okay?"

I whimpered as the pain was intense and closed my eyes tightly, "I… I don't know… it… it hurts."

I could feel Dean guiding me to a chair and he carefully helped me sit down, "Okay babe, what hurts?"

I struggled to take in a breath becausee of the pain, but forced myself to then shakily spoke, "M…my back it feels like someone is squeezing it…"

Dean's eyes widened and he softly cupped my cheek, "I think you are In labor sweetie, do you think you'll be okay for me to go get Gabriel?"

I whimpered and even though I didn't want Dean to leave me right now, I knew I needed Gabriel to help me, "O…okay…"

Dean leaned forward and carefully kissed my forehead, "I will be right back sweetie, okay, make sure you take deep breaths"

 **((Okay guys! Thank you for reading! Please leave a review! Follow and Favorite)**


	42. Chapter 42

**_Dean's POV_**

After kissing Cas' head I went to Sam's room, my heart pounding in my chest as I thought about the fact that Logan was ready to come and I wasn't sure if I was. I pounded on Sam's door, "Gabriel get your feathery ass out here! I think Cas Is in labor."

It was barely a minute later that Gabriel opened the door, his hair was a mess and his shirt also wrinkled but he spoke, "Where is he?"

I ran my fingers through my hair, "He is in Logan's nursery, he was up all night getting all Logan's stuff ready, when I helped him up off the floor he cried out and then he said his back really hurt and it felt like he was being squeezed and I… I don't know if it's different for angels and…"

Gabriel cut me off, "Okay stop babbling." Gabriel turned to Sam and looked at him, "You need to come with me, like we talked about earlier."

Sam gave me a look then nodded, "Alright…"

I raised my eyebrows at them but shook my head, "Come on can we go please."

Gabriel nodded, "Lead the way,"

I quickly went back to Logan's nursery which was the room directly across from ours and Cas was still sitting In the rocking chair, that looked like a regular arm chair but spun around and was very comfy. Cas was paler than usual and his entire body was tense, I also noticed his hands were slightly glowing and it made me worried, i went to his side and softly whispered, "Hey babe, Gabriel's here."

Cas opened his eyes and he looked at me then Gabriel, he choked out, "I…its to early…"

Gabriel moved to Cas' other side and touched Cas stomach and closed his eyes, a second later he opened his eyes, "It's a little early but your fledgling will be okay kiddo. I need to get him out though, he is starting to damage your grace."

I looked at Gabriel, "Wait what?"

Gabriel ignored my question, "We need to get him to your room, so you need to help me."

I swallowed thickly and nodded, "Okay…" I carefully helped Cas up, Gabriel put a hand on him but it didn't look like he wasn't doing anything until I noticed his hand was glowing to and it made me worry about Cas, thankfully our room was across the hall becausee I could tell Cas was in pain, after Cas was laid down Gabriel was giving Sam orders while I was trying to keep Cas calm.

Once everything was ready Gabriel took a breath and looked at me, "Dean you can't be in here for this…"

My already frayed nerves flared, "What the hell do you mean I can't be in here! Cas is my husband and this is my child!"

Sam spoke and stepped closer to me, "Dean he has to cut Into Cas' grace… it's the only way Logan can be born. We are human, we can't be here for it."

I growled, "Why didn't anyone fucking tell me?"

Gabriel opened his mouth to speak but Cas' meek voice cut him off, "I didn't want to scare you Dean… I trust Gabriel, I will be okay. You need to go, Logan Is ready to come out."

I chewed my lip hard enough to draw blood and leaned down and carefully kissed his head and closed my eyes trying not to cry, then put a hand on his stomach and softly spoke, "Neither of you are allowed to leave me damn it…"

Cas gave me a smile then kissed my cheek and then winced, "You need to go."

I wanted to stay, I wanted desperately to argue but Sam pulled me out of the room and I heard the door locking. A second later Sam handed me ear plugs, "Put them in."

I stared at them, the implications of why I would need them obvious and I shook my head, "No,"

Sam opened his mouth to say something just as Cas started screaming, I flinched and closed my eyes tightly, balling my hands into tight fists and taking a deep breath, after a minute Sam softly spoke, "Why don't we go make sure everything is ready for Logan,"

I shook my head and looked at him, "I… I can't Sam… I need to be here."

Sam gently pulled me Into Logan's nursery, "Gabriel warned me it will take at least an hour maybe more, lets pick something out for Logan to wear, and a blanket to wrap him up In okay?"

I closed my eyes and forced myself to take a deep breath before nodding, "Yeah… okay…"

Cas had organised everything from newborn to 12 months, and color coded it. We apparently had every color In the rainbow for the newborn clothes, I grabbed a blue onesie and stared at it, then looked at Sam, "D…do you think this is okay?"

Sam nodded, "It looks good Dean, what about diaper?"

I looked at the small changing table, "Cas wanted cloth diapers…. I… I don't know why I mean that means we have to wash them and…"

Sam cut me off, "Yeah but its better for the environment, disposable diapers create a lot of waste."

I looked at Sam, "You talked him into it."

Sam held his hands up, "I was just trying to be helpful, he had asked me one day what I thought I just told him what I thought."

I shook my head then moved to the changing table and grabbed the smallest cloth diaper Cas had, then the small grey swaddling blanket Cas had set on the changing table and then went back to the hallway, I could still hear Cas screaming and it made my heart squeeze and I desperately wanted to be with him, but Sam stood in front of the door and watched me. I started pacing up and down the hallway impatiently waiting for the door to open.

 ** _((Okay guys! Another update! Heyyy. Almost there. THe next one will probably be a little shorter. Maybe idk yet. Anyways, thank you all for reading, please follow, favorite and leave me a review!))_**


	43. Chapter 43

**_Gabriel's POV_**

After Sam pulled Dean out of the room I looked at Cas, his grace was growing weaker, I had seen it with humans who carried nephilim, their soul grew weaker as the nephilim prepared to enter the world, but a soul Is weaker then grace and human mothers died to give birth. I looked at Cas, "Cas I am going to be as careful as I can, I have to keep you from moving so I am going to pin u down with my grace, because once I make the first cut your grace is going to flare, this Is going to be terrifying I am sure, but Dad told me what I needed to and you and Logan will be fine."

Cas nodded nervously, "O…okay."

I pulled out a regular angel blade and then used my grace to pin Cas' grace, then carefully cut into his grace. As I expected his grace tried to flare out, to protect Itself and his fledgling, luckily my grace was much stronger than his but as I kept cutting it started getting harder, I knew it was out of fear and used more of my grace. As I found where Logan was resting I took a breath and softly spoke, "One more cut Cassie,"

Cas was still screaming, but he had passed out half an hour ago. I said that mostly to calm myself, I carefully pressed the blade In again, I barely used any pressure to avoid cutting Logan, and once the cut was made I carefully reached in and gently pulled Logan out, he was smaller than I expected but regardless he couldn't stay In any longer, I carefully set the baby In the bassinet next to the bed then began healing Cas, once Cas was completely healed I pulled off his grace, and I watched his wings appear and curl around himself, even though he was still out cold, I knew it was to protect himself.

I carefully picked up Logan and then opened the door, Sam's back was to me but when the door clicked open he turned to me, looking at the baby in my arms then I saw Dean was still pacing impatiently, "Dean,"

Dean's head instantly went to me, then the baby In my arms and tears filled his eyes as he slowly walked over, "H…he Is smaller t..then I…"

I nodded softly and carefully handed him to Dean, "He Is premature, but something happened to make him need to come out. Regardless, why don't you get him dressed and then come check on Cas,"

At the mention of Cas Dean looked torn, but finally he nodded and went to the nursery. I looked at Sam, who softly spoke, "Is Cas okay?"

I nodded, "He will be, he may be out for a couple days but he will be."

Just as Sam went to say something else, Dean was coming out again cradling Logan as if he was going to break if he moved, the swaddled blanket was wrong but Logan looked content. Dean tried to push past me but I stopped him, "Hang on a second Dean listen for a second okay. His wings have come out, It's a reflex when our grace is weakened and cut open like his was, you can touch them, it would actually probably make him feel better, it can make his grace heal faster but don't hold me to that if it doesn't happen. Now, you can see him."

Dean moved into the room and stopped when he saw Cas' wing, even though I had warned him it was still shocking, normally we didn't actually let our wings manifest, because the process of letting them out could hurt humans but since they manifested before Dean came In it was safe. Dean kneeled next to the bed and softly spoke, "Hey baby… I've got Logan right here, he Is so handsome hun… "

I gently stepped closer to Sam who was staring at Dean and Cas, especially his wings. I knew Sam didn't understand the rules or etiquette when it came to wings but him staring at Cas' wings when he was my mate made my own wings twitch annoyedly In the other plane. I carefully grabbed his hand, "Sam come on…"

Sam gave me a look but followed me out of the room until we were halfway to our room and stopped me, "What was that about Gabriel?"

I chewed on my lip, rubbing the back of my neck absently, "I… its complicated…"

Sam stepped closer to me and took my hand, "Gabe?"

I sighed, "I told you that we are mated right, in the eyes of Heaven we are bound…even if we aren't married on Earth technically by laws in Heaven we are mates…"

Sam nodded, "Yeah you told me about it, what does that have to do with anything?"

I chewed my lip again, "Right well… so Dean and Cas are mated… there are a lot of rules when it comes down to our wings… and looking at Cas' wings is… is fine for a second but… t..the way you were looking at them…"

Sam tilted his head a bit, "You got jealous?"

"Yes okay… Its Instincts…" I replied half-heartedly.

Sam held back a chuckle before pulling me close and pressing his lips to mine, "Hey, its okay to be jealous especially if there are rules about it. I'm sorry I made you jealous handsome, I just never seen wings before, they were beautiful…"

Jealously flared through me instinctively but I understood, It was awe Inspiring for humans to see an angel's wings. "Mine are better."

Sam chuckled this time and then kissed me again, "I am sure they are love. Now come on, I wanna watch a movie."

 **((Okay guys! Thank you for reading so far, I love seeing all the reviews you guys leave so keep doing that! THank you!))**


	44. Chapter 44

Cas' POV

I groaned gently as I was pulled into awareness, my grace ached painfully and my body itself also ached. I tried to move but there were gentle hands on my arms and Dean's voice, "Shhh shhh easy Cas. Take it easy babe."

I opened my eyes and was met with Dean hovering over me, "D...Dean."

Dean cupped my cheek and smiled, "Hey there handsome."

I could see the worry on Dean's face and for a moment I was confused, before suddenly remembering what happened. "Logan…"

I tried to sit up but Dean stopped me again, "Shh Cas he is fine. How are you feeling?"

I shook my head, "I want to see him."

Dean sighed but stroked my cheek, "I'll get him, I just laid him down for a nap."

I nodded and watched Dean get up and he went to the small bassinet on his side of our bed. Tears filled my eyes just looking at his size, i could tell he was smaller then he should be. Dean gently handed him to me and I couldn't stop the tears from falling as I looked at him. His hair was jet black like my vessels, his skin was paler to but his nose and cheeks had freckles reminding me of Dean.

Dean carefully moved so he was sitting behind me somewhat to support me and I leaned against him then looked at him, "H...he…"

Dean kissed the side of my head and carefully stroked Logan's hair, "He is perfect Cas. He looks so much like you babe."

I sniffled a bit and then looked at Dean, "h...he has your freckles."

Gabriel knocked on the open door gently to not wake Logan, "Hey little brother, good to see you awake. Sorry to ruin the moment… I just felt you awake and I wanted to check on you."

Dean glared at Gabriel but I gave him a small nod, "Gabriel, hello."

Gabriel carefully stepped in the room but not getting to close, "Hi Cassie, how are you doing?"

I hummed a little, "Sore, like I have been split open and considering that I have I suppose it is normal."

Dean gave a small chuckle and Gabriel smiled, "Yeah I guess, you're the first angel to deliver a nephilim, just want to make sure you are doing okay."

I nodded, "I think I am alright,"

Gabriel hummed before nodding, "Alright, I will leave you guys alone sorry."

Dean huffed a bit as Gabriel left before looking at me, "You sure you are okay?"

I nodded, "Yes Dean…"

Logan made a small whining noise and when I looked at him he was doing something with his mouth as if he was trying to suck on something. Dean shook his head and carefully move from behind me and got up going to the nursery. A few minutes later he came back holding a bottle. "Do you wanna feed him?"

I bit my lip and nodded, then carefully took the bottle from Dean, and gave it to Logan. It barely took a minute for him to start sucking on the bottle. I looked at Dean, "H...how long have I been out…"

Dean chewed his lip some before looking at Logan, "It's been a week… "

I looked from Logan to Dean, "What? A… A week?"

Dean nodded and moved closer to me, "Yeah… it was longer than Gabe expected. He said a few days… but…"

"As Gabriel said, I am the first angel to successfully deliver a nephilim…" I spoke gently while looking at Logan.

Dean hummed softly and pressed a small kiss to my temple, "I am just glad you're both okay… This last week has been… really rough without you… the first 2 days Logan would scream if I left the room… I…. it scared the hell out of me… Gabriel told me because he was so used to being in your grace he got scared if he was to far from you… I still haven't left the room with him…"

I took a shaky breath before softly kissing Dean, "I'm sorry Dean… you did so well though, he looks so happy…"

Dean carded his fingers along the back of my neck, "It isn't your fault Cas… and thanks I was pretty sure I was screwing everything up…. I mean truthfully I am a little worried I am still going to…"

I looked at Dean, who really did look nervous and shook my head, "Dean you are doing better then I am. You have a week headstart, not to mention your experience with raising Sam… I mean just a minute ago I had no clue he was hungry and… and you did."

Logan whined and when I looked back at him I had dislodged the bottle, I was careful in replacing it and felt tears at the back of my eyes. Dean rubbed a hand on my lower back gently, "You look so good with him Cas…"

I swallowed around the lump in my throat and blushed. After Logan finished eating I let Dean burp him, watching curiously since I had never seen it and Dean explained why it needed to be done.

Logan yawned softly and nuzzled against my chest sleepily, I gently stroked his cheek. Dean smiled and and rubbed Logan's back. "A few nights ago Logan wouldn't go to sleep, I mean I tried everything and he just kept getting fussier, finally I laid him on your chest and he like instantly fell asleep…"

I smiled a bit and looked at Logan whose eyes were closed again. I chewed my lip nervously, the overwhelming feeling that I was going to screw everything up hitting me square in the chest. I chewed my lip and looked at Dean, "Dean I… I am hungry… d...do you think you could make me something?"

Dean smiled and kissed me before getting out of the bed carefully, "Sure Cas, what sounds good."

I bit my lip, "A.. A Burger…"

Dean nodded, "Okay, why don't you take a nap with Logan while I do that?"

I nod in response, and watch Dean leave before letting out a breath I didn't know I was holding. I looked at Logan who looked completely content. I was doing my best to fight the panic in my chest. I bit my lip and tried to reach my grace out but since I was still healing it refused to leave my vessel. I chewed my lip and whispered, "G...Gabriel…"

It barely took a few seconds for Gabriel to appear with a flutter of his wings. Gabriel scanned the room then closed the door and came over to the bed, "Cassie, what's wrong?"

I shakily spoke, "I… I… what if Father was wrong… what if I mess this up brother… I… I know nothing about raising a child and… what if…"

Gabriel used his grace to make me shut my mouth and he sighed before sitting down, "Castiel look at your fledgling, he is happy, his grace is rubbing against yours and its soothing him, you just can't feel it yet because your still healing. Castiel you have always done everything you could to do the right thing, I know you are scared but you are going to be a great parent okay."

Gabriel's speech eased some of the panic in my chest and I nodded a little, I felt Gabriel let go of his hold on my mouth and spoke softly, "Thank you…."

Gabriel gave a half-chuckle before hugging me, "No problem Cassie. Now get some rest, it's the best thing for your grace right now."

I nodded and Gabriel left, before Dean got back I fell into a dreamless slumber.

 ** _((Okay guys... I am sorry it has taken me so long to get this chapter up, I have not felt like working on any of my published works and even writing this chapter has felt like a chore to me and that is not what writing is for me. I am going to try to get a chapter for my story Growing Wings up but I am taking a break for a while. I am hoping its not long because I feel so bad for leaving people hanging. Its not something I like to have done to me and its not somethng I like to do but I can't write when I have no desire to write at all. I am so sorry, i hope you guys can forgive me. I love you guys who have stayed loyal to these stories though, seriously it means the world to me.))_**


	45. Chapter 45

**Dean's POV**

After plating Cas' burger, I grabbed him some water and turned to leave but was met with Gabriel standing in the door, "Gabriel move,"

Gabriel shook his head, "Hang on Dean-O. Listen Cassie just called me into your guy's room because he was having a freak out. Mostly thinking he was going to screw everything with your little Nephilim up…"

I bit my lip and sighed gently, "Damn it… I was hoping we could avoid the freak outs till he got to feeling a little better… not that I want him to freak out anyways but…"

Gabriel held up a hand to stop Dean's rambling, "I know Dean I get it… there is only so much that can be done… I just wanted to make you aware of it. I used some of my grace to help him fall back asleep, so I would probably just throw that burger in the microwave to heat it up later."

I let out a heavy sigh before nodding, "I hate to say it because you're an asshole who killed me over and over and tortured my little brother and abandoned my husband when he was a baby but… thank you."

Gabriel made a face of mock hurt, but I could tell he wasn't that bothered by what I said, "Low blow man, but sticks and stones Dean-O"

I rolled my eyes then turned and threw the burger in the oven because I was not about to reheat a burger I made in the microwave. I did take the water and some crackers, so Cas could snack on them when he woke up.

When I got back to our bedroom Cas was fast asleep with Logan cradled on his chest and my heart tightened in my chest some, because before when I had laid Logan on Cas' chest he had just sort of been laying there, but now Cas was actually cradling Logan holding him tightly like he was his whole world and I knew in all honesty he was. I pulled my phone out and took quite a few pictures of them before gently laying down, Logan stirred more than Cas did. I was wide awake though and watched my boys napping, and my heart swelled that I could call them my boys. I thought about how many times I nearly lost Cas, nearly lost my own life. Of course, there had been times when we had both lost our lives for real and it seemed like it would be the end of things, the ending that brought us together as far as our relationship went, still haunted my dreams sometimes, and then the accident. Now though things seemed settled, I hated to say we might be getting a happy ending because I mean c'mon we are Winchester's but, it seems like we just might be. Silently I knocked on wood because I really didn't want to jinx us, especially not Logan, he deserved everything to go good for him.

A few hours later Logan fussed gently, Cas had moved, and I couldn't really see Logan's face because it was shielded in Cas' chest. I started to get up, so I could get on the other side of Cas get Logan from him, but Cas's voice stopped me, "Shhh… you're okay…"

I smiled a little before softly replying, "Is his diaper wet?"

Cas turns back towards me and makes a face, "How do I…?"

I smile a little and hold my hands out for him, "Can I have him, so I can show you?"

Cas hesitates but I can tell it isn't because he doesn't trust me and just because he doesn't want to give him up, but eventually he carefully hands him to me. I let Cas sit up and move up on the bed as well before laying Logan on his back and unbuttoning his onesie at the bottom and feeling his diaper and instantly I can tell he needs changed, "Here Cas feel," Cas looked at me nervously but he felt the diaper and I could tell he had no idea but I spoke softly, "He is wet, and he probably pooped too, I am going to go get the changing pad and a diaper for him and change him in here so I can show you okay?"

Cas nodded again, "Okay Dean…"

I gave him a small smile, "It's okay Cas, I know you've never really dealt with babies before and it's okay. We probably should have done a little bit of teaching you before, but I wasn't thinking, I'm sorry"

Cas took a deep breath and he started to say something, but Logan fussed more, and Cas carefully picked him up. "Shhh it's okay little one, daddy is going to change you."

I smiled but got up and went to the nursery across the hall, grabbing what I would need, the changing pad, a new diaper, and wipes. I also grabbed a new onesie and a swaddling blanket for Logan.

When I went back into the room Logan was even more fussy and crying now, I shifted the blankets and laid out the changing pad, then looked at Cas who nodded and laid Logan on the changing pad. I carefully pulled off Logan's onesie completely and he of course started screaming, I knew Cas was uncomfortable by the way he tensed. I spoke, "It's just because he is cold,"

Cas chewed his lip but nodded but he was still tense, and he stroked Logan's head his screaming calming some. I carefully changed Logan and he was wet and had pooped, Cas made a face of disgust, but I explained to him about making sure Logan's little penis was always covered with the diaper pretty much because chances are he would pee otherwise, and it would go everywhere.

Cas nodded along as I spoke, and once I had the diaper on I cleaned it up and threw the dirty one in the trash and then handed Cas the onesie, "Think you can do it?"

Cas looked nervous, but he nodded and took the onesie and studied it for a moment before unclasping the bottom and slipping it over Logan's head like I had with the other one and he only fought with Logan a little to get his arms in the holes before clasping the bottoms. I smiled as I watched him, "Good job Cas, see you can do this."

Cas blushed, and he bit his lip gently then looked at the blanket, "Are you going to swaddle him like we read in those books?"

I nodded gently, "Yeah, or I can show you and you can try? He seems pretty content right now."

Cas nodded, "I would like you to show me and try for myself."

I smiled and carefully picked Logan up, laying the blanket down, then laying him on top of it and showing Cas how to swaddle, "You want it to be tight, because otherwise he will get out of it really easy, plus they like it tight, reminds them of the womb or whatever."

Cas smiled a little and nodded before carefully taking Logan who was still swaddled and was clearly content, checking the swaddle seeing how tight it was before he carefully unwrapped Logan. Logan fussed a little but once he was rewrapped he blew little raspberries.

 **((So I had a day off work this week and didn't have any school work to do or any other plans so decided to have a chill day and I realised how long it has been since I really updated this fic so here you guys go. I am sorry I really needed a break, I can't guarentee another update will come soon because now I am trying to juggle work and school but I hope this helps some. Thank you to all those who have read this, left me reviews, and followed and favorited this story and me!))**


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